Cute Overload

So we've been doing what we can to prepare AJ for the new baby. He's still a 'little' young to really understand anything, but we do our best. Whenever he sees my belly, we talk about the baby in it. Whenever we see another baby, we talk about the baby we'll be bringing home soon, etc. Mostly we try to convince him that his belly isn't named "baby" like Mama's is.

Originally, I'd planned to mess with him a little (hey, he's _my_ kid - if _I_ can't screw him up, no one's allowed to!) by teaching him that my belly button was the microphone that he needed to talk through in order to speak to the baby. That was _way_ too advanced a concept for him this go 'round (maybe next time?! Or will he be too old then?). So we've stuck with just pointing out babies and talking about babies and how we're going to have one soon.

But usually if you ask him where the baby is, he'll point to my belly. And often when I'm sitting on the couch, he'll ask to "see" the baby (or ask where the baby is), and we'll play peek-a-boo with my belly button (this can become rather embarrasing when I'm wearing a dress). If you ask him to kiss the baby, I'll get a bunch of slobber on my belly (good for moisturizing? Stretch mark repair serum? Maybe I should bottle his drool and sell it...).

But his favorite thing lately has been to give the baby a drink from his sippy cup. He puts the cup up to my belly button, then I make slurping sounds and thank him for sharing with the baby. He figured this out all on his own.

That's our boy - _way_ too smart, _way_ too sweet, and _way_ too cute!

Who needs sleep?

So have you ever gotten into bed sleepy, with the thought that you've got as close to a perfect life as it gets...only to then remember that you might get to achieve your life-long dream of being an astronaut too?

I mean, seriously...I've gone on and on about how good God is to me before...but really...life can hardly get any better than it is right now. Does that seem an odd thing to say in the middle of a financial crisis in our country? I've got a wonderful husband who has his quirks, but who takes excellent care of me and who loves me very much. I've got the cutest, smartest, sweetest baby outside of a uterus right now...and another one (who is also the cutest, smartest, and sweetest - yes they can both share the titles) inside my uterus right now. We've got jobs, we've got savings, we've got a mortgage that we can handle for the foreseeable future, we've got minimal non-mortgage debt, we've got cars that work, we've got supportive families that love us, we've got a circle of friends who love us and pray for us, we've got a good church, and a cat named Monkey. I mean, seriously, what more could you ask for?

And I might get to be an astronaut too...

Yeah...break out the Farscape DVDs...there's no sleep for me for a while tonight...

Addiction?

So when I was horribly, unendingly ill at the beginning of this pregnancy, I decided to go the OTC route and "just" take vitamin B-6 and Unisom. For some reason unknown to science, this combination of drugs helps with nausea. No one's really sure why. Some speculate that it's a vitamin B deficiency that causes it...but no one really knows.

In my case, I found out after just a few months that the B-6 wasn't really doing that much for me, so I stopped taking it around the time I was starting to feel better. Since I don't really like taking _anything_ (and especially not the infamous "sleeping pills"), I was really far more concerned about the Unisom than the B-6. So about the time I cut out the B-6, I starting cutting the Unisoms in half. That transition went surprisingly well.

When I started feeling even better, I tried going one day on, one day off the half-dose of Unisom. That transition didn't go so well (I could tell a definite difference between the days that I'd taken it and the days that I hadn't), so instead I started cutting them into ~fourths. I've been doing that for a while now, so I thought maybe I could stop altogether.

Well, after hardly sleeping at all last night (my first night without - although, really, it's not like I've been sleeping _well_ lately, so last night wasn't _that_ much different), the morning didn't go all that badly. I felt a little "off," but really nothing that different from recent mornings. But around lunchtime I spent a second too long in AJ's room (where the combined smells are: dirty diapers, cat litter, cat food, an air freshener, and various un-lit but still pungent candles). Really, the smell wasn't that bad...but the combination was just enough that for the first time in several months (I think - I mean, there's been a morning dry heave or two, but no real food loss in quite a while), I saw my breakfast and morning snack all over again. It wasn't fun, especially with Baby now big enough to be pushing on my bladder with every heave.

Now I'm back to hungry, but not all that desirous of eating. I guess that's better than the last week or so when I just haven't been hungry.

But I think I'll wait a little while longer before I try stopping the Unisom again. I don't think I can cut the pills any smaller and crushed Unisom tastes _AWFUL_ (although not as bad as metronidazole - just trust me, it's nasty).

I will be _VERY_ glad when these extra hormones are gone and I feel "normal" again. Although I'm beginning to be concerned that at some point I'm just going to have to suck it up and go cold turkey on the Unisom - that's it's not a "morning sickness" thing anymore, that it's become a physical dependence. Which is exactly the reason I was leery of it in the first place.

Arg.

"Just" 11 more weeks. I can make it. We're almost to single digits!

10-15 out of 3,535

So according to Air & Space magazine, I am one of 3,535 people from which 10-15 will ultimately be chosen. Chosen for what, you ask?

Well, last September I got an email from a former boss which said "now's the time" with a link to a news article - an article about NASA accepting astronaut applications again. After confirming that he did, indeed think that I should apply, I got my references in order (it's really nice to be family friends with the software manager for Hubble repair missions and to have worked for one of the associate administrators of NASA who also just happens to be a former Shuttle pilot and commander (and who just got inducted into the astronaut hall of fame)!), found all of my medical records, updated my resume, sent in my school transcripts, and on Christmas Eve, submitted my complete application.

So why are you only hearing about this now? Well, the vacancy announcement didn't close until the end of June...and since the school transcripts had to be mailed in, they had to give ample time for everything to get to their office, so they didn't actually start considering anyone until the beginning of September. I figured that no one would want to hear "well, it's not even under consideration yet" for most of a year, so I held off. Plus, shortly after submitting my application, there were lots of vomit stories to tell, which were _much_ more exciting than "nope, not yet..."

Sometime in July or August, I got a post card from the Astronaut Selection office saying that they had my completed application and I'd be hearing from them in the future. Well, as they say, "the future is (potentially) now." They're currently going through the 3,535 applications and making their first cut. They'll cut out folks who don't qualify at all, and then cut it down more so that there are about 120 folks. These people will be called to come to Houston in groups of 20 in November, December, and January for interviews and medical tests.

So, assuming I make that first cut, they'll be getting a call from me asking if they would allow me to come in the first group since Baby's coming in December and will be here in January! Hopefully they'll be flexible!

After the interviews are completed, they'll make a second cut from the 120 down to about 40. These folks will be called back to Houston in February and March for more extensive medical screenings. If I make that second cut, they'll be getting another call from me asking that I be in the LAST group to give me more time to get back into shape after the baby comes! So many astronauts are running/fitness nuts. As much as I like to be "shapely," I'm far from a nut about running or biking (or whatever) miles and miles every day! Especially 2-3 months post-partum!

After those final screenings are finished, they'll make their final cut down to 10-15 people (depending on how many active astronauts are left at that point - they expect a good bit of attrition due to the expected retirement of the Shuttle fleet in 2010), about 1/3 of which will be minorities and/or women. Assuming I make _that_ cut, we'll find out in March or so and will be expected to report in Houston in August.

So, what are my chances? Well, 3535 applicants for (let's say) 15 spots...given that 1/3 of the chosen will be women and let's say that at most 50% of the applicants are women...all applicants being equal, I have a chance of approximately 5 in 1767 or about 1 in 353.

Honestly, those odds aren't quite as bad as I was expecting (this was the first time I'd actually done any calculations).

But all applicants _aren't_ equal. The average age for an astronaut is somewhere in their 40s. I'm in my early 30s. Many "mission specialist" astronauts (the non-pilot folks like me) tend to have multiple advanced degrees. I have one MS and no PhD. And most folks who become astronauts apply multiple times before being selected (there's even one guy who applied 15 times before being selected!!!!!). This is my first application.

But on the plus side, I believe that my work experience uniquely qualifies me for the expected work for astronauts of the 2009 class. The folks selected in this class of astronauts will not fly on the Shuttle (unless something _drastic_ happens with Russia and the Shuttle program has to be extended past 2010). They will go to the ISS and will fly on the CEV. Well, my experience as a risk analyst for both the ISS and the CEV means that I have a good amount of knowledge about those systems already (especially the life support systems since that was my area of expertise on both contracts, although I have a good general working knowledge of the other systems as well). On top of that, we used the astronaut training manuals and a lot of operational procedures and rules as our main sources of information. This gives me a leg up on the training aspect, but it also makes me more 'well-rounded' than many engineer types who are more focused on the technical aspects than the operational aspects of missions.

And all of that's not to mention my time at the research lab where I worked as an undergrad (a neutral buoyancy tank like they use for astronaut training) and getting to fly twice already on the "Vomit Comet" (another training tool). I even think that my time overseas was a bit like training - I was never allowed to be really alone (there was always a security guard and/or driver with me whenever I went anywhere), I was very limited in where I could go and what I could do (not to mention learning another language), and I was separated by vast distances from friends and family. I may not have been weightless or confined in really, really close quarters with anyone (although it sure seemed that way sometimes), but there were definitely aspects of my time there that were similar to what I'll (hopefully) experience someday on a space mission.

So will I get selected? In sha'allah (God willing).

It Could Have Been SOOOOO Much Worse...

So AJ's learning boundaries, both literally and figuratively. He HATES it when I put up the baby gates, so I usually only do it when he's having trouble obeying the "stay where Mama can see you" command (ment). He'd been doing pretty well this morning, so the gate to the bedrooms/bathroom hallway was still down.

But then he disappeared for a few minutes. He came back when I told him to though, so I didn't think much of it until I saw him munching on something. I didn't have my glasses on, so I couldn't tell at all what it was - all I could tell was that it was brown and indistinguishable. So I told him to take it out of his mouth and bring it to Mama, which he did with reasonable speed.

So he hands me this brown, slightly curved, cat-poo looking, slightly damp object with little bits of what seriously looked like used cat litter on it. This, of course, concerned me, not only because it would appear that my kid had just tried to eat poo (at least he'd spat it out rather quickly and willingly), but also because it looked like my cat had eaten a baby wipe prior to pooping it out and my kid eating it.

So we said "yuck" a lot between us (me especially since I thought I was holding the poo and "food" of two mammals in one slightly damp package) and I wiped as much of the "yuck" off of his tongue and face as I could (all the while wondering what you do for a kid who just ate poo. I mean, you can't exactly bleach his mouth out or anything. Well, not without permanent damage.).

Then I remembered my tea cup that he'd moved to just out of sight shortly after I'd finished with it. Prior to moving the cup, he'd played with the tea bag until I told him to put it down (which he also obeyed (at least for a while) with alacrity). So then I smelled the "poo" and was happily greeted by the sweet scent of raspberries with a touch of lemon.

So not only have we apparently avoided the "poo eating" episode that I'm sure happens in every home with a litter box...at least so far this morning...but AJ has also probably taught himself not to eat tea bags!

Yes, this could have been SOOOOOOOOOOOOO much worse....

Random Irony

Ok, so VNB and I were in bed two nights ago, flipping through channels before falling asleep, and he kept switching between the Democratic National Convention (Sen. Clinton's speech) and Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith (Episode III) on Spike.

He and I both found it ironic that her speech coincided with Anakin killing off the younglings in the Jedi temple and Sen. Palpatine declaring himself the Emperor - both for the "good of the Republic."

We really wondered about the programming director on Spike. Did s/he plan that? Because I mean...seriously...

Definitely made us giggle.

Breakthrough of a Different Sort

Not talking about teeth this time. He's got a mouthful of choppers already - the canines are the last to come in. I guess he's supposed to get another set of molars eventually, but I don't know where they'll fit.

Anyway...

Before I got pregnant again and horribly, miserably sick for 3+ months, AJ was doing pretty well with eating at least a little of what Momma and Daddy were eating for dinner. He was big into green beans and would eat rice dishes with some regularity. Then I was horribly, miserably sick for 3+ months. It was a good day when there was food for him to eat (and us - preferably without me barfing it back up later) and his diaper got changed a couple of times (again, preferably without me barfing). So while we'd been edging away from the little plastic Gerber containers, the horrible, miserable sickness cured us of that. And AJ got VERY used to eating from the little plastic Gerber containers. He was never a fan of their "Stage 3" stuff, so we didn't waste time or money on those and stuck with "Stage 2."

Well, now that the horrible, miserable sickness seems to have passed for the most part (although I'm still weaning myself off the drugs - who knew Unisom did so much for nausea?), and I'm coming out from under the dark cloud of months-on-end of feeling and being sick (not to mention gas prices and everything else spiking during all of that, making me feel guilty for not doing my part in cutting down on household expenses), I realized that not only was he pretty much only eating the Gerber mush, that was ALL he would eat anymore. Don't get me wrong, the occasional kid's meal chicken nuggets and french fries would still usually get eaten, as would peanut butter sandwiches and the occasional grilled cheese...but you can't eat peanut butter every day and grilled cheese involves cooking and dishes and while I'm feeling better, I'm still never going to like causing myself work, even for a grilled cheese.

So we tried the "eat this or eat nothing" for dinner tactic. He just loaded up at breakfast and lunch the next day. We tried the "airplane coming into the hangar" tactic. It'd make him laugh, and occasionally we'd get a rice grain or two down the gullet, but it never made the hangar doors open indefinitely. We tried the "stuff it into your mouth and hold your mouth closed until you swallow it" tactic. But dude has some STRONG jaw muscles and that mostly just made us both mad.

Well two nights ago we had a break through. It was essentially mac and cheese, except that there was chicken and broccoli in it too. And there was corn on the side. And he wouldn't touch any of them. But he had leftover raisins from his afternoon snack still on the table that I was ok with him finishing. He was eating them, but I was bored and we were talking about eyes and ears and other exciting toddler talk, so I decided I'd make a smiley face out of the raisins. Then we ate his eyes and his ears and his mouth and it was fun. That gave me an epiphany. So I put the pasta on the same plate in the same face shape. It took a little more convincing, but eventually he ate the two eyes from my hand, then got down from my lap, finished eating the face I made, then went to town cleaning out the bowl all on his own with NO encouragement from Momma and Daddy!

Then last night, he just started eating his spaghetti. No rigamarole. He _did_ steal one of my meatballs (and would have stolen more if I hadn't eaten them all), but I was ok with that. We'll see if the eating continues with peace. Here's hoping, because those little Gerber things get expensive.

Good Gracious Sakes Alive...

I don't know who still checks this. I've been off the air for so long that I doubt many do. And if you do, I don't (necessarily) know where you stand politically. But where ever you are politically, whomever you're planning on voting for, you need to go to Google (or some other such search engine) and enter the words "Illinois infanticide law" (without the quotes). This will bring up internet traffic from both sides of the abortion issue concerning Sen. Obama's lack of support for a "Born Alive Liability" bill that made its way three separate times through the Illinois senate legislative process while he was an Illinois state senator.

I'm not going to pontificate on this, mostly because my wee one still in utero is exactly the age of the babies they're talking about.

God help us. And God have mercy on Sen. Obama, no matter what his reasons.

Success?

So I have succeeded where VNB failed. While he _almost_ totalled my car, I have succeeded. Is that looking on the bright side?

AJ and I were on our way from his doctor's appointment (bug bite that wouldn't go away, but thankfully isn't Lyme's disease) to baby sibling's sonogram when I realized that I was about to miss the exit. I cleared the semi next to me, but then found another car next to him that I wasn't going to clear, so I swerved back to the left, and in trying to regain control swerved back to the right...where the semi's front left bumper found my rear right one.

AJ had just fallen asleep, so all it did was wake him up (he was a little nervous getting back into a car later that night, but he's gotten over that, thankfully). I haven't even been sore other than just from the adrenaline rush (no air bags involved). The guy in the semi might have lost his job (he was new to that company and so was on probation), but was unhurt and assured me later that he'd be able to find another job with no problem (so pray for him that that works out). And the baby was pretty much normal in all regards (with the same due date) as per the sonogram that we got to a little late. But the car, she is totalled. Officially. No way to wiggle out of it.

So, if you're going to have a car accident while pregnant, have it when you're on your way to a sonogram because it means that your husband will be nearby to speak coherently for you and it will give you added peace of mind that your unborn baby is ok when you get to see them showing off their hands and feet for the "camera." Someday "soon" I'll scan those pics and show them off. They should let you bring in a flash drive and just copy the pics onto that so we don't have to deal with the whole scanning thing.

Anyway, so we'll be used car shopping over the weekend, hoping to find something with gas mileage equal to or greater than my poor 2001 Ford Escape (it usually averaged about 25mpg which is really good for a SUV, and not that bad for a sedan, really) that I don't mind driving (I really just don't like driving sedans anymore, although stepping up into our Escapes has been becoming increasingly difficult). And we'll be hoping against hope that whatever this "nused" car costs, it'll be less than what USAA will give us for my old one. While still being reliable. And economical.

Oh, and to the "Princess Leia" in TN who has an outstanding warrant for bank fraud? There are some MD Transit Authority cops who almost took me in for fingerprinting and possible extradition to TN because of you. Fortunately, my SSN doesn't match yours and the cops were feeling generous to the crying pregnant lady who'd just been in a car accident with her toddler son. But they know you're out there and they're looking for you!

THIS is Parenting

So since AJ's started being FASCINATED by anything violent or negative on TV, we've switched from watching whatever was on USA in the mornings to whatever's on PBS. Yes, I've succumbed to the world of "kids television." And I don't mind, really. Barney's not so bad, really, especially when followed with a chaser of Mister Rogers.

Especially when during Barney's closing credits, AJ gets an uncontrollable urge to dance (which means stomp his feet and clap, not anywhere close to in time with the music). Unfortunately, he was holding a ring from one of his stacker toys (the parent police put you in parent jail if a toddler's household doesn't contain at least one ring stacker toy - we have two, just for good measure). That prevented him from clapping like he had to do. So instead of putting it down on the floor (like everything else) or on the table that was between us, he insisted on handing it to me. After which he proceeded to dance in the cutest way possible to the Barney end credits music.

Then, when Mister Rogers came on, he spent the entire opening song ("It's a neighborly day in the neighborhood...") waving 'hello' at Mister Rogers.

These are the sweet moments that make it all worthwhile.

This next one had better be a world of cute. They're sure going to have a lot to overcome in the "making it all worthwhile" department.

Works For Me Wednesday: Not Couponing (for now)

It's been a long time since my last WFMW post. I think that's mostly because I wasn't feeling very social added to the fact that I couldn't remember what ideas I'd already posted and was too lazy to go back and check.

But even if I don't participate, Shannon over at Rocks in My Dryer always hosts WFMW and there are always _HUNDREDS_ of ideas.

Anyway, so we all know by now that I've been uber-sick lately. Adding my uber ("morning") sickness to my natural non-cleaning tendencies and an extra super-dooper sensitivity to smells and you end up with a house that's even messier than normal, especially the kitchen (opening the fridge to get AJ's juice a couple of times a day was more than I could handle many days - and even walking past the sink is often still a chore).

As I'm starting to feel a little better, I'm attempting to re-tame the beast. I still haven't even thought about cleaning the kitchen (although I sometimes manage to throw out the trash and recycling that has collected), but I've been working my way towards keeping the living room tidy-ish and have done my semi-regular straightening of AJ's room. The dirty laundry is at least in the hamper and the clean stuff is folded, if not put away yet. So I'm getting there, slowly, but surely.

One thing that's helped at least the last few days has been me allowing myself to NOT coupon. I already feel bad enough with the messy house and the days where I could barely keep AJ fed, watered, and dry-ish. I also felt guilty that, when I could manage to get to a store and buy groceries, I wasn't making sure I was getting the best deals. Not to mention the fact that I was collecting coupons to clip, but never clipping them and if I did manage to clip them, they never got sorted and stored....which meant a pile of paper for AJ to toss everywhere over and over again....which meant more mess.

So the other day I made an executive decision. When I feel well enough to keep the house clean, I'll start up with the couponing again. In the meantime, I've absolved myself of the guilt of not couponing (and therefore the mess of paper that comes with it). I've got enough to worry about. I can let go of this for now. And it's ok. Not only that, but it "works for me!"

Creating a Monster

So one of the first things AJ did when he came home from the hospital was sit with his daddy and watch daddy's trains. Apparently that was the first step towards creating a choo-choo monster. Our pediatrician has one of those wooden train sets in her office. AJ _SCREAMS_ when we have to leave the trains to go into her office, even though she has fun toys there too. When we find a Thomas set in a store, he _SCREAMS_ when we have to leave. I'm not talking frustration or upset. I'm talking full-scale 'terrible twos' temper tantrum. At 17 months (or less, we saw the sets in the store last Christmas - he wasn't even one yet!).

Well today we had a little late morning (we (he) didn't wake up for real until 10:30!!!), so he's getting to see shows on PBS kids that he hasn't gotten to see in a while, like Mr. Rogers. The minute Mr. Rogers came on the screen, AJ started pointing and saying "choo choo!" And then got frustrated as it went longer and longer before he saw the choo choo. And now that they're _in_ The Neighborhood of Make Believe, he's upset that the choo choo's gone again! And gets excited when they show the castle with the train track in front of it.

But every time he sees Mr. Rogers himself, he just points and says "choo choo, choo choo." I don't know that we've ever purposely associated Mr. Rogers with choo choos, but obviously AJ has.

Just like he associates the TiVo with Thomas episodes. He gets all excited when daddy comes home and watches stuff on the TiVo...until he realizes that the stuff daddy's watching isn't his Thomas and Friends episodes that he gets to watch when mommy's taking a shower.

My mom sent him a bunch of clothes that we finally got through the wash last week. As it was sorted in piles in the living room waiting to be washed, AJ found all of the various pieces that had choo choos on them (several since my mom knows how much he like his trains). He kept picking those up and pointing to the choo choo. I can't imagine what he's going to be like when he actually wears them. One is a set of Thomas pajamas. I'm not sure he's going to sleep with those on.

Now he's mad because Reading Rainbow is on. And it doesn't have trains. Usually. Yay for a subway episode!

We've created a monster.

Unisom and Vitamin B6 are my Friends

So the over-the-counter anti-nausea meds they gave me are vitamin B6 (50 mg, 3X a day) and Unisom (which I was only taking at night). I started taking them roughly a month ago now. Long enough, that I finished the last of the Unisom two nights ago. Since I'd been feeling better (12-weeks seemed like it really was the magic number this time - a nice surprise given that it was FIVE MONTHS with AJ. Granted, I wasn't nearly as bad with him, but still, FIVE MONTHS!), I'd cut back on the B6 to twice daily (if I took it too late in the afternoon, it made me sick anyway). And since I was still feeling better (better being a _very_ relative term, but still, I was better - I even cooked dinner the other night without gagging at all...of course dinner consisted of a bag of something that I could pull out of the freezer and dump into a skillet, but still, _I_ cooked it with _NO_ gagging!), I figured I could just not restock the Unisom. I mean, "all it did" was make me groggy in the mornings. Plus I was (am) concerned about getting dependent on it.

Yeah, BIG MISTAKE! While I've enjoyed not being drowsy these past two mornings, I have _NOT_ enjoyed the major relapse into constant nausea. Smells that haven't bothered me in a week, now make me puke again. Goody.

The worst part is that since I didn't restock when I was feeling _well_, now I have to go out while I feel barfy. Always fun with the most active toddler in the world.

Maybe I'll try just half a Unisom each night.

And to give him his props, VNB made me continue taking the B6 at night, even though I planned on stopping that too. Who knows how awful I'd feel if I hadn't done that!

A Pleasant Experience?

So I have to share that if one _must_ vomit, vomiting Oreo Cakesters is about the most pleasant experience one can have. They taste almost as good coming back up as they did going down. Now, I can't say the same for the cheddar & sour cream potato chips that came up along with them (healthy breakfast, what can I say?)...but the cakesters. It was almost pleasant. A nice texture, good taste.

Anyway, just thought you'd want to know.

Aren't you glad I'm posting again?

Poor Parenting Moments...Again, Some More...

Ok, so it hasn't been a secret pretty much since the beginning, mostly because I've been so very, very sick. But yes, AJ will be a big brother sometime around Christmas. And this new little one has made me very, VERY sick. Even with drugs, I don't feel very good most of the time.

All of which has led to more poor parenting moments to share! Woohoo! Most have to do with vomit and/or poo, so don't say I didn't warn you.

But hey...at least I didn't plug my kid into the USB port this time. That's improvement, right?

So the other day I was dry heaving. Basically, I was spitting a lot into the toilet. While burping these nasty, deep, guttural burps. And AJ, as is his wont, wandered into the bathroom. Often he does this just to get into the cabinets that I won't let him get into while I'm too busy to keep him from getting into them. But this time, he apparently thought that it was really cool to spit into the toilet. So he started drooling even more than usual and would have tried spitting into the toilet too if I hadn't been monopolizing it. When he saw that there wasn't room for two (three?) in praying to the porcelain god, he decided instead to be supportive. So he walked up, stood next to me, and put his little arm around my neck.

Later that day when it wasn't just dry heaves, he did the same (without the attempt at spitting for himself). He walked in and patted me on the back until I was done.

Sweet boy.

I'm Ba-aaack! (For today at least)

So why haven't I posted since March 14th or so? Well, it wasn't because Brutus and the other conspirators murdered me in the senate on the ides of March.

And at that time, it wasn't because I was pregnant and couldn't keep the secret.

I've just been...introspective? Withdrawn? I dunno. There was so much going on that I just didn't have it in me to talk about it all. I was too busy doing and living it all to write about it.

And I'm not necessarily saying that that's changed completely, but today Shannon at Rocks in my Dryer is giving away 20 sets of CDs and all I have to do to enter is link to this site: www.WOWonline.com. They're sponsoring the giveaway. And that's a LOT of really good CDs. So I guess my greediness overcame my laziness or whatever it was.

Just Had to Share

Postage

...is currently $0.41 for a first class letter and $0.26 for a postcard....but that's not the kind of postage I'm talking about.

Sorry for the lack of posting lately. Work's been crazy, not only do I have lots to do, but I've also been going into the office once or twice a week (which usually completely blows the day) in addition to my normal Tuesday morning "play group" and our first MOPS meeting (with all the planning and additional work that adds). So dishes and laundry and work have all been piling up...and blog posts have been put off.

I've got three months' worth of pictures and videos that need posting...and they'll get done...eventually...along with everything else. Thanks for hanging in with us!

I Voted...

So my sticker didn't look exactly like that (and neither of those hands is mine...in fact, I got this picture from the Atlanta Young Democrat's website, so it's not even from my state or party affiliation)...but I got one yesterday. And I feel like I _REALLY_ earned it.

You see, occasionally I _do_ go into my office for meetings and such. AJ usually tags along with me since my team loves him and it's _way_ cheaper and easier than finding and paying a babysitter. Well, yesterday was also a very nice ice storm for our area, so just as soon as we could leave, we did.

At 4:30 our journey began. Around 5:10, we finally made it onto the Beltway. That portion of the trip usually takes at most 10-15 minutes at the worst of rush hour (5:30-ish). AJ woke from his afternoon nap very briefly at this point, but then thankfully went back to sleep. By about 6, I think we'd made it to the next exit on the Beltway (about three miles). After many discussions with VNB, it was determined that I might as well stay as try any other route since all of them were equally backed up, so we continured inching along. With each exit, the speed increased a fraction, until we were doing almost 40 mph (our top speed for the whole trip). Around 6:15, we made it to the exit for 95N...where traffic pretty much stopped again. By about 6:45, we made it six miles up 95 to the first Laurel exit where I bailed out like my life depended on it (AJ had been awake and crying for about 15 minutes by then). The trip through Laurel was slow, but I knew enough side streets to avoid even the worst of that. By 7, we were free and clear on the north side of Laurel and the back roads were open from there until we got home around 7:20 - TWO HOURS AND FIFTY MINUTES FROM WHEN WE'D LEFT!!!! Which had taken us about 35 minutes on our way _into_ work that day.

I quickly dropped AJ off with his daddy for the dinner he was ravenous for, and slid back out into the ice to go vote. By 7:22 I was at my polling place, and by 7:35, I was back out. It really helps when you've done your homework and know who you're going to vote for!

Ignore the Man Behind the Curtain

Just diddling around, trying things out. Don't mind me...

Template Update!

So last fall, I won a new blog design in the Fall Y'all Bloggy Giveaway carnival over at Bloggy Giveaways. After much discussion, Linda from RS Designs made me a lovely banner, background, and divider. Being my usual self, I have yet to install it. But today's the day! So apologies to both of my RSS feed readers if you get like five hundred "new posts" from me today and to anyone else to sees this while I'm trying to figure out how to make it work.

In the mean time, if you're bored, hop on over to the new giveaway carnival over at Bloggy Giveaways (this is now officially a quarterly thing) and spend an infinite amount of time signing up to win free stuff! Last time I walked away with a new blog design, a book, and a lavender-scented rice "heating" pad.

I have no plans at this point to host another giveaway of my own...but you never know what I might come up with before the week is out.

Getting Old, Quick

So yesterday, AJ added a new sign to his vocabulary - hungry. I was so excited when, after I'd helped him climb up next to me, he started rubbing his hands across his chest. Since that's pretty far from the actual sign (you trace your esophagus with one hand), I went out on a limb to ask if he was hungry. He responded with his affirmative "huh, huh," so it was off to the high chair for us.

He didn't really seem all that interested in any of the food I offered him except for his "crunchies" that he's been getting the last couple of days, but we tried valiantly and with great frustration all around.

After a while, we cleaned up (including him "helping" me wipe down his tray) and went back to play.

The same sequence was repeated roughly 52 times yesterday.

And so far it's been about four times today. It probably would have been more, but we went out for a while. Plus, he ate almost half of what he normally eats in a day during first and second breakfasts. One would hope that he'd be mostly full from that. He's also had most of a banana today in addition to lots of crunchies, steamed squash, steamed zucchini, freeze-dried apple bits, and his Os. Oh...and he had most of what he eats for lunch too.

So, either I've been starving my son (which could explain his off-the-charts low weight) and he's finally figured out how to get his stupid mom to feed him more, or he's in a growth spurt.

I'm hoping it's the growth spurt.

But seriously...while it's adorable to see him pounding his chest like Tarzan (which is what his sign for hungry looks like most often)...or doing the "hungry" sign on _my_ chest when I don't respond fast enough to him, it's really getting old, REALLY fast when he signs it every half hour or so.

Forget "wolf," my kid cries "hungry."

Nature Documentary

I feel like the Discovery channel should have had a camera crew in my living room over the past few minutes. One of AJ's many Christmas/Birthday presents from his Nana and Grandaddy (VNB's parents) was a box of alphabet flashcards. As they are on relatively thick card stock, we left the box of them out in the living room with his other board books.

Before now, he's occasionally chewed on the box a little. This morning, he found the box and was just playing with it while sitting amidst all of his other books. Next thing I knew, he'd managed to get the box open and had the letter "C" card out of the box. That's when I really started paying attention.

He then directed his efforts at getting another card out of the box, but they were too tightly packed in there. It was during this time that I decided to blog about this. I briefly toyed with the idea of trying to get video of it, but we all know that a) the camera distracts him from what he's doing causing him to stop the very thing I'm trying to get on video, and b) it'd take me three weeks to actually download the video and post it.

Well, in the time that it took for me to load the blogger page, he'd managed to pick up the "C" card, and one-handed, dump some of the other cards out of the box. Since then, he's reached into the box repeatedly and pulled more cards out, then played with them briefly before returning to the box for more (he just pulled out "W" and "X" which are on the same card for some reason).

I really wish I _could_ get this on video because you can just _see_ the wheels turning in his little mind as he figures out how to get things to do what he wants them to do. He doesn't just scatter the cards either (not to say that they don't end up scattered, but he doesn't just toss things all over the place). He sits and picks up each card individually and studies it - turning it over and over in his hands.

I seriously feel like Jacques Cousteau or someone should be narrating this for me.

For Breakfast: Cream of Cat Foot with Brown Sugar and Raisins

So I was in my normal position - reclined on the couch with my laptop propped up on my knees, writing an email to a friend when the cat decided that she just HAD to take that moment to jump up onto my chest (she's been doing that a lot lately. It's especially fun at night when I'm trying to go to sleep...and even more so when she decides to knead her little claws into every exposed piece of skin she can find).

Little did she know that I had protection today. Sitting on my chest already was my breakfast - instant cream of wheat with brown sugar and raisins.

In one mighty leap, she jumped from the floor to what would have been her favorite set of pillows...but instead was a bowl of warm mush. She instantly rebounded back to the floor, spraying me with cream of wheat in the process. Fortunately, the glob that found the laptop hit the one spot devoid of any moving parts (bottom, left corner, next to (but thankfully not on) the glidepoint), but there were plenty of other globs in my hair and on my clothes.

Now there are probably little kitty paw prints all over my house. And I, who had actually gotten a shower last night and was CLEAN! am clean no longer. Neither is my favorite hoodie that I had just put on.

Stupid cat.

She's already eyeing her spot again.

Our Little Man

So this time last year I was resting (uncomfortably) in a hospital bed with a wee little man by my side. I think VNB had just returned after going home for some sleep and a shower, and friends were stopping by after work.

It's hard to imagine how much our lives have changed since that day. I certainly haven't had a full night's sleep since then. I just feel so blessed when I sit here and look over to see AJ playing. He's so inquisitive and active and vibrant. He's got so much personality. His little grin can melt the coldest of hearts, and his _hugs_....there's nothing sweeter in the world than being hugged by him...except _maybe_ watching him hug his daddy...but that's mostly because of the look that VNB gets in his eyes when it happens - complete surrender to the love he has for our little man.

But to know the special privilege that I've been given. To be able to be home with him every day. To watch him grow and learn. To hear him talk and sing. To see him play. To have him feed me his gluten, nut, and soy-free Os (that taste like cardboard made with a touch of molasses) all afternoon.

And to recognize the intelligence that he has as he sits and plays with his little bead roller coaster, pushing the beads back and forth along the tracks...then turning the whole thing on its side and watching them all move on their own. To see him pick up objects and examine them in great detail (prior to putting them in his mouth for further "examination").

To hear him laugh and giggle. To watch him sleep. To see him toddle around with growing boldness.

And yes, even to consider four hours of uninterrupted sleep to be as close to Heaven as you can get on Earth...and to be constantly aware of every gas bubble and the color and consistency of every diaper. It's a joy and a blessing to get to suck the snot out of his little nose.

It's also an awesome responsibility. One that I love and wouldn't give up for anything.

So happy birthday, little man!

We're certainly not putting you back where we found you!

This Time Last Year

This time last year, I'd just received my epidural after spending about four hours screaming with every contraction and not dilating any. Around 11, I was able to get a much-needed hour of sleep. Just thought you'd want to know. Now I think I'll celebrate by going to sleep again - this time with no drugs, and no recently-breech baby unwillingly making his way into the world.

I do _not_ plan on commemorating the actual event of pushing him out of my body as that occurred at 4:58 in the morning. Hopefully _he_ will not wish to commemorate it either.

A Breastfeeding Miracle

So in January of 2000, I was sitting in my cubicle at work on a Friday afternoon. Most everyone else had gone home. As I was sitting there, I was attempting to massage some odd soreness out from under my right arm when I found something that would change my life - a lump. I was 23, and the only person on either side of my family who had ever had any kind of cancer was my grandmother who had a _TINY_ spot of lung cancer after living with my life-long smoker grandfather for 50 years, but I had a distinctive, can't-ignore-it lump in my right breast.

I called my doctor and they fit me in the next day. It was _probably_ a swollen lymph node, so he set me up with a course of antibiotics. When that did nothing, we tried an anti-viral next. When that didn't do anything, we tried an anti-parasitic with similar results (except that now I know exactly how foul Flaggyl or metronidazole tastes. Please believe me and avoid it at all costs). With each visit, my somewhat granola-crunchy doc also prescribed various vitamins. By the end, I was taking vitamins A (in a liquid suspension), B (B-50s to be particular), C, and E, in addition to some stuff for my thyroid and oil of evening primrose. He also sent me first for a mammogram, then for a CT scan. Also, with each passing day, the pain that the lump was causing increased. There were days when it was hard to breathe. It was next-to-impossible to do things like mow my lawn.

So in June or July of that year, my doc sent me to a surgeon whose primary response to me was "you're too young!" After another course of antibiotics, a sonogram, and the cessation of all things caffeinated (including chocolate), they finally scheduled me for surgery. The first time, on the day of the surgery, amazingly, the doc couldn't find the lump. So they rescheduled me and on Sept 10, 2000, they took out a "reactive follicular hyperplasia." Basically, an abnormal number of normal cells. Not cancer or even "pre-cancerous." Completely benign.

It was over. It took till January to get the full range of motion back in my arm and I expected to be caffeine-less (and taking a boat-load of vitamins daily) for the rest of my life, but it was over.

Until the next March when the pain came back. And I found another one. And it all started over. Again with the function-robbing pain and the rounds and rounds of doctors visits. And another surgery. This time it was a "fibrosis" - scar or connective tissue. Also completely benign.

And again, it was over. Recovery was much quicker and less painful that time too. Eventually I even stopped taking all of the vitamins (because I just got tired of feeling like I was a "sick" person who had to take tons of medicine daily), although I kept off the caffeine.

Until three years later. I'd been in Kuwait and/or Iraq for just over six months when, in January of 2004, I found another one. To be polite, I'd had to drink a whole lot of Iraqi tea and a small amount (thankfully) of Turkish coffee...which meant _FAR_ more caffeine than my body had seen in many years. So that March, when I was passing through Amman on my way to Cyprus for a vacation, I stopped in at a radiologist's office for another round of mammograms and sonograms. Since I had the history of benign lumps, had a reasonable explanation for this one (Iraqi tea), and wasn't in any pain this time, we decided to just keep an eye on it. The following September when we came out of Iraq for some training (and I unexpectedly never got to go back), I got it checked again. It hadn't grown any and I still wasn't in any pain, so we left it. The doc gave me assurances that it would be there for the rest of my life, but it was "probably" benign like the others.

It's been there ever since then - _PROBABLY_ benign - but with that little cloud of "what if" always floating behind the "probably." I made sure I was always aware of it, but mostly was too busy meeting VNB, finishing my MS, getting married, getting pregnant, and having a baby to worry too much about it.

About nine weeks after AJ was born, we were in for a check-up with the midwives when I brought it up again. She checked me out, felt what I was concerned about, and offered to write an order for a sonogram for me, but I turned it down. At that point, I think I was too worried that they'd find something serious to do what was probably the best thing. I didn't want anything to interfere with breastfeeding AJ. Granted, me dying from breast cancer "probably" would have interfered, but then again, it'd been there innocuously for years. A few more months wouldn't make a difference.

But I went to the gyn for something else, and I was getting kinda antsy about getting it checked out again, so, even though he couldn't find what I was talking about, he wrote me an order for a sonogram. Eventually I called and set up the appointment.

It was today.

And despite her best efforts, the sonogram tech couldn't find anything except normal breast tissue.

Nothing.

The lump...and the nagging fear that went with it...that was supposed to be with me for the rest of my life is gone.

I named my first lump "Bartholomew" because its meaning (little hill) was the closest I could find to "lump," and somehow talking about "Bart" was easier than talking about my breast lump. The second I named "Thaddeus Yair" (which means "Praise, God will teach") because I wanted each thought of my lump to refocus me on praising God and learning what I needed to be taught through the experience rather than worrying about the "what ifs."

This last one was named "Evan Hoai" which means "God is good, Always," partly because it reminded me of a song I love ("God is good all the time..."), and partly because it was what I felt I needed to be reminded of every time I thought of this lump.

Now, medically, this can potentially be explained by the fact that a woman's breasts don't fully develop until she's produced milk for a baby. It took a little while for it to work, but breastfeeding was not only the healthiest thing for my son, it also "fixed" me. It's "a breastfeeding miracle."

Or I can give the praise to the One who formed my breasts and who has taught me so much over the years through this. The One who is good - all the time.

Maybe it was a breastfeeding miracle. Or maybe it was "just" a miracle. All I know is that after eight years of the dark cloud hanging over my head, it's gone! Praise the Lord, it's gone!

Happy New Year

I apologize for the lack of posting this past month. I think NaBloPoMo broke me...but also, so much has been happening that it's been difficult sometimes just to process it. Taking the time to put words to all of it was beyond me. So here is an update covering the past month or so:

1. My car should be home today! The cost increased almost to the point of being totaled, but by then they'd already done so much work that it wasn't worth their effort to stop in the middle. So yay! But while GEICO (not our insurance, but that of the guy who hit VNB) did GREAT the time that our blazer was side-swiped, this time they weren't so great. Like at all. They haven't contacted us since the day after the accident. They didn't tell us that _we_ had to arrange to move the car, they didn't tell us the adjustor's findings, and most importantly, they didn't tell us that our car was ready last Friday before they turned off the rental car. Enterprise finally called on Monday morning to let us know. But we got it all straightened out and should have my almost new again car this evening. :)
2. AJ is officially among the "walkers" now. A few days shy of him being 11 months old, he took a couple of steps at his dad's office holiday party. A little over a week later (with _both_ of us present) he took a few more. Since then, he's been gradually getting bolder and bolder. Now, he's off to the races. His longest stretch unaided was probably 10 ft. across half of my parents' family room (carpet) and well into their kitchen (vinyl).
3. He has now said the following words (not necessarily in this order, but really, I'm not crazy - he says all of them): Dada, Mama, AJ, Fish, Star, Peek-a-boo, Cat/Kitty, Woof, Choo-choo, Hey/Hi, Bye, Juice. (Keep in mind that "advanced" 12-mo-olds usually say 1-2 words other than Mama and Dada.)
4. He understands the following signs: hungry, finished, thirsty/juice, more, sleepy
5. He "says" the following signs: finished, more, sleepy (well, that last one might be cheating since the sign for sleepy very much resembles rubbing your eyes)
6. He "drives" anything with wheels _on_ its wheels (and I do mean _anything_ - stuffed trains, books about cars that have wheels on them, not to mention actual vehicles). VNB claims that he knows to do this without having been taught because he's a boy. I think it's because he's been playing with his daddy's trains so much lately.
7. By the end of his first Christmas (which really hasn't ended yet as VNB's mom and dad are coming up with the Jones portion this weekend), he had mostly learned to unwrap gifts. He still liked playing with the paper more than anything else and screamed when we made him move on to the next thing, but he had at least learned to rip the paper off. I wonder if he'll feel cheated someday when he's older and he learns that he got a new car seat for his first Christmas/birthday (well, primarily...he got other stuff too, even from us...what can I say? We're suckers.).
8. He dances to music whenever possible.
9. He points to things that he wants...and also points out eyes, mouths, and noses on other people.
10. He hugs people (including the 10-mo-old daughter of some friends of ours...she wasn't so sure what to make of it all).
11. He "pets" the kitty rather than just pulling her hair (and by "pet" I mean pounds on her with an open hand).
12. He turns pages in board books.
13. He has five teeth, including his two (top) front teeth (but he still can't say "sister susie sitting on a thistle" or whatever it is that Nat sings about).
14. He still chews on anything and everything he can get into his mouth, but he's also starting to just play with things, so we're hoping we see the light at the end of _that_ tunnel.
15. He sleeps most nights from about 8 until about 3 or 4 (very occasionally 5), then can be put back to sleep most mornings for a couple of hours at a time with the final wake up usually occurring between 7 and 8. What that means is that I'm MUCH happier. :)
16. He can actually sit still without restraint in order to watch his daddy's trains.

And right now he's screaming as he tries to get my attention by pulling my arm away from the computer because he needs a clean diaper and a nap. Pictures of some of the above to come...you know...someday...

Aaaaahhhhhhh!!!! Giant Spider Attack!!!!

WAY too funny not to share. Click here for the full story. Make sure your sound is on.

SNOW!!!!!!!!

I saw a few flakes the other day and was so excited I almost had to pull over.

So when the news started mentioning snow for today, VNB almost had to tie me down. And when I heard 1-2," I was ecstatic!!!

Today I was fully prepared to wait until noon or after (like they were saying) for it to start. But then I looked up a few minutes ago and, even without my glasses on, I could tell it was coming down and FAST!!!!!

So I showed AJ and he got excited too (he _is_ my on, after all)!! So when I started this post, he was sitting at our sliding glass door waving at the snow, but then I took a picture which got his attention (and somehow reminded him that it's almost nap time), so now he's sitting in the crook of my left arm as I type one-handed while also preventing him from "helping" me type.

But the ground is already turning white!! So maybe Wednesday night stuff at church will get cancelled and VNB can come home instead of going to orchestra rehearsal and get to play with AJ in the snow!!

Oh look...a little yogurt came up with AJ's last burp...right onto the laptop's glidepad and left mouse button. Nice.

On _THAT_ note....

Ooo, look!!! It's SNOWING!!!!!!!