Grumpy

Don't mind me....I'm just a little grumpy today, and with grumpiness comes sarcasm. I don't need to be reminded that "the right job will come along at the right time." In fact, comments along those lines will only compound the grumpiness.

10 Things You Can't Do With A MS in Aerospace Engineering

10. Use it to cook dinner (unless it's a very quick-cooking meal, in which case, see #2 below).
9. Sell it on e-Bay.
8. Use it as postage.
7. Use it as a musical instrument (unless you're wanting to sound like very small thunder, or do some serious "customer modifications" to it).
6. Use it to write the great American novel.
5. Call a friend with it.
4. Drive anywhere in it.
3. Wear it (unless you're really tiny or aren't very modest).
2. Make a real airplane with it.
1. Get a job. Or maybe that's just me.

10 Things You Can Do With A MS in Aerospace Engineering

10. Wallpaper a very small portion of a wall
9. Have a very small and short-lived fire
8. Hit people on the head with the tube they mail it to you in.
7. Be afraid to take a copy of it with you when you go to live in the Middle East for fear of being absconded by terrorists for your rocket-building skills. Oh wait....that was things you can do with a BS in aerospace engineering. Sorry...wrong list.
6. Make recruiters' eyes glaze over when you speak to them about possible job openings.
5. Make yourself extremely overqualified (to the point of being un-hireable) for blue-collar or temporary positions.
4. Make normal peoples' eyes glaze over when you tell them what your degree was in.
3. Be allowed to tell people "well, it's not rocket science" and actually mean it.
2. Be allowed to tell people "well, it is rocket science" and actually mean it.
1. Make an oddly-shaped paper airplane.

Survivor's Guilt....Sorta

So today, two years ago, five of my friends were hit by rpg/mortar and small arms fire as they were driving from Irbil to Mosul in the north of Iraq. Three died instantly, including a lady who had been my roommate for a while. One retained consciousness long enough to call for help, and one remained unconscious for a few weeks (medically-induced after a time to allow her to heal). The one who called for help was able to describe the attack to the military personnel who were attending to his wounds, but took a turn for the worse the next night, and on his way to Baghdad by medivac for further treatment, died as well. The one survivor received 12 bullet wounds, and lost three fingers, and the tip of her nose.

While that was happening, I was safely in Baghdad.

I don't question why they were killed. Their lives brought a great deal of glory to God, and their deaths have only continued, if not increased, that. I also don't question why I was spared - God obviously wanted to keep me around here for a while longer, and I'm cool with that. So, it's not really "survivor's guilt" that makes me so emotional when I think of my friends.

As I said in an earlier post, God loves me and He gives me all sorts of wonderful things - "more than I could ever ask or imagine." I'm singing a solo in church this Sunday about how faithful He's been to me, and it's very, very true. And I don't know why. I'm certainly no better than anyone else, He just seems to shelter me more.

And I think that scares me for two reasons: 1) it could mean that I'm not strong enough to handle life, so he's made it easy for me, or 2) (and this is the one that I lean toward out of pride, but also because I know it's true) to whom much is given, much is expected....and someday, much will be expected of me. I guess I'm scared that I won't be able to handle whatever it is, and I'm scared that I will be able to handle it.

The title of my blog is "Who Said Anything About Common Sense?" One of the things I've come to believe over the course of the last few years is that common sense is something that we Western Christians have come to hide behind. We say that 'God gave us a brain, so we should use it' and not do anything crazy like walk on water, or any number of other things which were counted among the great acts of faith, simply because it "doesn't make common sense."

I guess what I really fear is that, as He's done so many other times, God will call that bluff of mine someday too. He will ask me to do something which makes no common sense...and I'll have to do it and hang the consequences because 'to whom much is given, much is expected' - and He's given me so much (and because I've been such a loudmouth against common sense).

This is what scares me and is in the back of my mind when I'm reminded of how He protected me while in Iraq (not that it was better protection than my friends,' just different - He wanted me to do more here on Earth, while their tasks were done).

So someday, when I do something crazy for the glory of God, remember that I was scared to do it.

And remember my friends:
Karen Watson (my roommate)
Larry & Jean Elliott
David & Carrie McDonnall (Carrie is the survivor)

Karen's favorite song, which we sang at their Iraqi memorial service:
"If I Could Just Sit With You Awhile"

When I can not feel
When my wounds don't heal
Lord I humbly kneel
Hidden in You
Lord you are my life
So I don't mind to die
Just as long as I
Am hidden in You

Cause I could just sit with You awhile
You could just hold me
Nothing can touch me
Though I'm wounded
Though I've died
If I could just sit with You awhile
I need You to hold me
Moment by moment 'till forever passes by

Moment by moment 'till forever passes by

Saddm's Secrets

So the most surreal thing happened to me yesterday. I was in the Family Christian Store in Laurel, looking for a book (which they didn't have). I was on my way up to the register to ask if they had it and I just hadn't seen it, when I saw a book entitled "Saddam's Secrets" on their 'special buy' rack. Now, any book about Iraq or the middle east or Saddam catches my eye...but this one made me stop in my tracks.

It was written by a neighbor of mine when I lived there.

Now, normally, that would be an exceptionally good thing...except that General Georges and I didn't exactly see eye-to-eye on a great number of things. I didn't trust him, partly because I felt that my bosses trusted him too much (if he said "don't cook chicken on Thursday - it might be dangerous," we didn't cook chicken on Thursday, and I'm not at all exaggerating, but I think what sticks in my craw most about this aspect is that I felt he was a little too happy to be able to boss around a group of Americans); partly because he'd been high up in Saddam's government, so (regardless of his lack of participation in the Ba'ath party) was not someone to be trusted (the only people who got rich under Saddam were people that Saddam allowed to be rich, and Georges wasn't exactly hurting for cash); and partly because he helped his brother's construction company fleece our organization on a project that I was in charge of. They didn't finish the work and ended up charging us at least twice what we'd originally contracted for. This resulted in my company feeling that all of the projects that I was in charge of were "failures" (yes, that is a direct quote, given multiple times at an all hands meeting), and ultimately (this is the part that really broke my heart) causing them to prohibit me from even visiting the friends that I'd made in that area, muchless completing the projects and being true to my word to those that I'd promised to help.

So, needless to say, I don't exactly have a warm feeling when I think of Gen. Georges.

That's not to say that he didn't do some good things for us too. He's the reason that my boss got to meet and chat several times with Ambassador Paul Bremer. He's the reason that my friends who died two years ago this week were given a memorial service (attended by Amb. Bremer) at the CPA (Coalition Provisional Authority - housed in Saddam's main palace, in the "Green Zone"). His position in the CPA, and then in the interim government, helped open doors for my organization - I can't deny that.

...but, there's still not a really warm feeling for him in my heart.

I've only read the first 18 pages so far, although I'm sure I'll finish the book before week's end. I don't know if I, my bosses, our organization, or our projects are mentioned in his chapters on Iraq's rebuilding (I'll let you know, although I doubt it in some ways, and think that it's very likely in others).

Thinking self-centeredly here, did this book appear because God thinks it's time for me to let go of this resentment against Gen. Georges? Did it appear the same week my friends died for a reason? I'm not sure I want to understand Georges better. I want to hang on to that bitterness. I want to revel in the nausea that comes when I realize that Georges, who is already rich, is now getting a little richer because he's published a book and I (of all people) bought it.

But at the same time, for all that I am bitter against Georges, I know that this book speaks the truth about life under and after Saddam, and I want people to know that truth. I've not been given many opportunities to speak about that (I've been trying since I got back a year and a half ago to get a Sunday night time slot at my church, but they keep telling me that calendar's just too full - there's time for a talk about the two-week trip that the pastor (and I, and others) made to Africa, but not time to hear about the 15 months I spent overseas), and some of the people that I have spoken to either a) don't believe me, regardless of what I say; b) hear what they want to hear, regardless of what I say, or c) just don't listen....so, despite the bile that rises to my throat when I type this, I tell you, all of my faithful readers....if you really want to know the truth about life under Saddam, during the occupation, and now when the Iraqis are again in control, and you want to hear it from someone who is Iraqi who was both high up in Saddam's regime, and also high up in both the CPA and the current government. If you're not afraid of how the truth might affect your beliefs about the current (and previous) war(s) in Iraq, then read this book.

Here are its particulars:
Title: "Saddam's Secrets: How and Iraqi General Defied and Survived Saddam Hussein"
Authors: Iraqi General Georges Sada with Jim Nelson Black
Publisher: Integrity Publishers
ISBN: 1-59145-404-2
Cover price: $24.99
Family Christian Store price: $19.99 + tax
Amazon.com price: $15.74 + shipping

Once saved, always saved?

Having been raised as a Southern Baptist, I was taught very early on how we believe that once you've become a believer, then you're set for life, regardless of what you do or don't do....but that idea has troubled me lately. Let me explain why.

I'm reading Douglas Adams' post-humously-published collection of speeches, random thoughts, interviews, web postings, a short story, and an unfinished novel called "The Salmon of Doubt." Adams is probably best known for writing "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy." An interesting note for those who, like me, avoided the movie because it was different from the book - apparently the book was different from the radio shows which originated the storyline, and the tv show which came after the book was different still - all at Adam's request due to the different media, and his own (and Hitchhiker's) maturing process. So, I'm going to now rent the movie at some point and see if I can enjoy it like my friends who had never read the book did because Adams never meant it to be exactly the same. (Side-side note: until C.S. Lewis comes back from the dead and says that the Narnia storyline was better in the movie than the way he wrote it, I'm still going to be wary of that movie.)

Anyway, Adams began life as a believer, which is rather unusual in England where many claim a church or denomination, but few actually ever participate in said church or denomination. When he was 18 or so, he had a "conversion" first to agnosticism, then to what he called "radical atheism," meaning that he didn't just believe that there wasn't a god, he felt that he knew that there wasn't one. He died unexpectedly at the age of 41, I believe, a few years ago, presumably still holding this belief. He explains the conversion process in this book, and says that it was initially because he realized one day (thanks to a street evangelist) that religion is not held up to the same rigors of logic that the rest of life is held to.

That just makes me sad. It makes me wish that I had met him before he died and that we'd gotten into a conversation about religion's lack of logic so that I'd been able to point him towards C.S. Lewis' non-fiction (Lewis went from childhood faith to atheism and back to faith). It also makes me sad because this man whose work I love and whose presence I'm pretty sure I would have enjoyed, died and went to hell.

Except that, according to SB tradition, he didn't because until he was 18, he was a believer.

Now, I'm not a Biblical scholar. My degrees are in aerospace engineering, not theology or religion, or even philosophy. But that just seems weird to me. Jesus says:
"And so I tell you, every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven men, but the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven." (Matt. 12:31 NIV)
"I tell you the truth, all the sins and blasphemies of men will be forgiven them. But whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit will never be forgiven; he is guilty of an eternal sin." (Mark 3:28-29)

Does that mean that Adams was forgiven until he decided that the Holy Spirit didn't exist, but then he wasn't forgiven anymore?

It gives me a new respect for Mormons and their practice of baptism for the dead.

It also makes my head spin because if that's the case, then salvation isn't a permanent thing like I've always been taught to believe. Granted, there's only this one sin that can take it away (not every sin like Methodists believe)...but still...

Most people are more concerned with salvation the other way around - "What if Hitler, the moment before his death, became a believer? Would he go to heaven?" What about Saddam? Since I believe that no sin is "bigger" than any other, then the short answer to those questions would be "yes." Their sin was no "bigger" than my own, so they are no more separated from God than I am. So the same salvation that works for me could work for them, even at the very last moment of their lives.

But what about the person who truly has a salvation experience as a child, but then later in life completely recants those beliefs? I'm not talking about the person who simply fails to live as I think a believer should - I'm talking about someone who actively preaches against faith in a god of any kind.

There was an article in our local paper recently about another such man. He became a believer in high school, went (by his own choice) to one of the most conservative Christian colleges in America, got multiple degrees in various aspects of religion, then gradually lost his faith (he calls himself an agnostic now) due to his studies. He now goes around speaking about how erroneous the Bible is and has written multiple books on the subject. His wife still goes to church, but he actively speaks against it.

These men both preach(ed) against Christianity, despite faith as youth.

It's not my place to judge, but the easy answer would be to say that those weren't true "conversion" experiences in their childhood (and, to be frank, Adams never recounts such an experience, he just cites active involvement in his local church). That would leave in tact SB's "once saved, always saved."

But where does that leave a friend of mine from college who says something similar? He remembers his salvation experience and knows that he truly meant it at the time...but now he doesn't quite believe all of that anymore. He's not an atheist, and not even an agnostic that I know of....but he just doesn't quite believe those same things anymore. He's not earning his living preaching/speaking against mainstream Christianity, so does that mean he's safe?

It makes me sad. It makes me curious. It makes me wish I knew where Douglas Adams was right now. It makes me want to run an experiment to see what happens with each type of belief experience...but that thought also makes me slightly ill because of the eternal ramifications for some test subjects.

I don't really know how to conclude this. Any comments, you theologians out there?

Pictures

My good friend Ginny (check out her blog here) reminded me that I should put up pictures. Well, these are the ones emailed to us by our families. I'll post the link to the "official" pictures when I get it.

With the parents.

With my family.

With my parents.

With my siblings.

Announcing Mr. & Mrs. Jones!

Our first dance.

Dancing with Daddy.

The cake!

Birdseed.

The get-away.

Our "backyard" the next day.

Obafemi (Yourba word/name for "God Loves Me")

So I've decided that my name should be changed to Obafemi. God is just so good to me. This is a sampling of the story of my last few weeks.

Wedding prep:
- God brought the greatest guy into my life. The one guy who is completely perfect for me. And he's hot too. :) Here's that story.
- Thursday, nine days before the wedding, I got a call from our photography company. The photographer we'd chosen had a death in his family and would be out of town for the next two weeks (including the day of our wedding). The regional manager assured me that his replacement was her top guy. I was starting to get a little antsy when she told me the replacement photographer's name: Scott Tribble. That's right the photographer at the wedding of two die-hard trekkers who come from families of trekkers and many of whose friends (and attendants) are trekkers had a photographer whose last name was tribble. That settled me down considerably.
- Everything that needed to get done got done in time, maybe not the way we'd planned, but it was done and everything looked great.
- The Wednesday before the wedding, one of my friends mentioned that the RAs (the boys' missions group at the church) were having their Crazy Night in the fellowship hall (the location of the rehearsal dinner and reception) the night before the wedding. We knew we could find someplace else for the rehearsal dinner, but any decorations we put up in the fellowship hall would be at risk from a large number of rambunctious boys and many dodge balls. After learning of the double-booking, then RAs graciously offered to move their activity to an alternate location. (We thanked the boys with some treats last night.)
- The juice for the "Baptist Champagne" (white grape juice and Sprite), which could have been very expensive "just happened" to be on sale the day we bought it.

Wedding Day:
- All of the last-minute things got done!
- My brother and dad, both of whom had purchased suits for the occasion (along with the rest of the guys in the wedding party) realized that, while they'd picked up their rental tie, vest, and shirt, they had failed to pick up the actual suits. But since we'd done it all at Men's Warehouse, and since they had left their suits at the store (and not at home or something), they were able to just go to our local store and pick up two more.
- The flowers weren't at all what I was expecting. They were everything I'd asked for, but not at all what I expected. All the same, they were absolutely beautiful.
- The choir and orchestra (and my brother who was singing) all worked out beautifully. At one point, there was some miscommunication between JediTagger and the other musicians, so he started singing the chorus while they played the verse. He caught himself after a few words and played it off very well. Unfortunately, by then the director had noticed, so he was instructing the musicians to play the chorus. It was a few measures before they got it all together, but, other than the few words of the chorus that my brother sang instead of the second verse, I didn't notice at all. But other than that one tiny moment, all of the music was perfect and just like I'd always imagined.
- The cake, which, like the flowers, was largely left to the creativity of the designer, was both beautiful and excellent. The "hanging stars" idea was perfect, and the groom's cake with our invitation on it was amazing!
- The SNOW!!! I have witnesses of me saying weeks in advance, in the middle of our unusual 60° weather, that there would be snow for my wedding. Well, even I was a "little" surprised with the outcome. If the snow had started even a few hours sooner, it could have beendisastrouss, but it didn't. There were flurries all morning, but not enough to discourage most people from coming. By the end, the ground was nicely covered and gave us an excuse to leave the party a little early (ok, not really, but it's more fun to tell the story that way). Well, it snowed all night and into the next day. Most of Maryland got ~14 inches. Columbia (where VNB - Very Nice Beloved now, btw - and I live) got 21 inches. Laurel, maybe 10 miles away got 14. We got 21. When asked why that happened, a friend of mine replied " Because that's where lives now!"

Post-Wedding:
- VNB, ever since he got his SUV with 4WD, has said that the next time there was a big snow, he'd help hospitals get their staffs into work. Well, the first big snow in our area occurred on our wedding night. The next morning when we woke up, we looked out the window to see the total accumulation. Well, not only did we get 21 inches of perfect snow, our parking lot also got a 50 ft pine tree. It found the only two empty spots across which to fall and only blocked in the cars of one building - ours. In the Treover community in which we live, God used a "tree over" in the parking lot to make sure that VNB had absolutely no way to leave, allowing him to stay home with his new bride without any guilt. The tree was gone in plenty of time for us to leave for our honeymoon.
- I'd been slightly uneasy since I'd realized that the day after our wedding was "International Sunday" at church. The choir was singing a song that I liked and it was just a theme that I really wanted to participate in....but the snow helped with that too. :) Not only were services cancelled that day, but so was the Cake Auction - where VNB and I had our first conversation the year before. I was sad that we'd miss it. But it's been postponed (as has "International Sunday," I'd assume), so we'll get to participate in both! The choir and others who attended the wedding also have said that they really felt like they'd already worshiped at the wedding, so it was ok to not have services on Sunday.
- Our honeymoon was absolutely perfect. We had a "little cabin in the woods" in theShenandoahh Valley. It was amazing. We stopped by Luray Caverns along the way, saw Monticello, Ash Lawn-Highlands, and Montpelier (the homes of Presidents Jefferson, Munroe, and Madison, respectively), and ate at a Japanese steakhouse.
- And lastly, now I have a husband who is "more than I could ever ask or imagine" and a home that's on its way to being ordered and is already beautiful and warm.

Basically, everything is perfect, and I'm so blessed that I don't even know how to explain it all other than to say, "Obafemi" (God loves me)!

You're probably asking right now why I get everything I want and why He blesses me so much. Well, I've asked myself the same thing many times. The only answer I can come up with is this gem of wisdom:

I have absolutely no idea.

Merry Christmas!

Wow...I haven't posted in almost two months. You'd think I was busy finishing up my scholarly paper, finishing two grad classes, singing Handel's "Messiah," working, having a "wedding" shower, writing "thank you" notes, going to pre-marital counseling, and graduating with a Master's degree in aerospace engineering or something.

Yeah...it's been a busy two months.

But that's all done. This week, my mom and I will make the majority of my wedding dress, and then I'll pack what's left of my stuff that's been in my brother's basement for three years into a U-haul and drive it all back to Maryland. The week after that, I'll address a _whole_ bunch of envelopes and mail out invitations (send me your address if I don't already have it - and maybe if I do....some have been inexplicably lost). In the three weeks after that, I'll make three bridesmaids dresses. What little sewing experience I have was back in the days of baby Links and Elianas...seeing how they're both college-aged now, you could say that it's been a while.

But it'll all get done and on February 11th, while Maryland beats Duke, VNB and I will get married!

So, I'm going to go back to spending time with my family. Y'all have a merry Christmas!

Wedding Info!

For those of you who have been dying of curiosity about VNB, you can stop now. Check out our wedding website for info about lots of stuff concerning our wedding.

If you don't see information that you need, or if you see a typo, let me know.

A Year and Counting

So yesterday marked one year since I landed back in the States. Today marks one year since I first heard VNB's name. On Monday, GI Joe got back to the States and on Saturday, he'll get back home. Don't worry about me though - he and Coupon Maven are graciously letting me keep staying at their house until VNB and I get married (well, after a week or so of privacy).

I don't really have much to say on the matter of one year back in the States. I've blathered on before about how much has changed, blah, blah, blah and am just not really in the mood for more mushy writing today. But at the same time, it's an important milestone that I didn't want to be neglected.

So....a year back in America. Woohoo!

Fall

So the weather people warned those of us in the mid-Atlantic that it would be a pretty colorless fall this year since it had been so dry during August and September.

In my yard, at the very least, they were very wrong.

Each morning these last few weeks I've woken up to a sight which has been increasingly beautiful - a maple tree. My drapes are open just a crack, but basically the first thing I've seen each morning is that sliver of the great outdoors. Each day it's seemed amazing...and each day is more amazing than the day before. Despite several cold, rainy, and dreary days, the view from my window has been brilliant.

And then the fun comes. My car, which parks below said maples, always collects a number of leaves on the windshield and hood over the course of the night. So when I leave in the mornings, it's like I'm driving through a big pile of leaves! I get to see them as they all go flying and as a few brave cling on during my travels, waving wildly in the wind.

Soon the leaves will all be gone, along with the colors, and next year I won't be in this little room with it's view...but soon winter with its many joys and beauties will come, followed by a spring like I've never known before - one shared completely with someone else. Life will never be exactly the same again, but one thing that I've found to be always true in my life is that what comes next is even better than what was before. It may not be apparent right away, and at times it may seem like life can't get any better or more beautiful...but it's always been true.

So in the words of the Arabic Children's Bible that I learned from a lifetime ago, I say thank you:

شكرأ يا الله لانك خلقت الاشجار

(Thank you God because You created the trees)

There and Back Again

Well, we got back from Mississippi at about 7:30 AM on Saturday morning. It's a mess down there, but we were able to help a few people and see what we're really up against. It's going to be a _long_ time before life gets back to "normal" for anyone down there. We spent most of our time working in Nicholson, MS. The MapQuest map that I linked to doesn't really show it, but it's right next to the MS/LA border (that's the Pearl River). We were staying about an hour away in Saucier (pronounced "sew-shure"). We stayed with a couple whose nephew's wife was on our team. They're caring for her 100-year-old mother, so they're not able to get out to help people much, but they saw this as their way of helping with the relief effort. Let me tell you, they fed us _well_. We all probably gained weight, even though we were doing hard work all week. And we each had beds to sleep in (most of us didn't even have to share!)!

We drove down (in the rain) Friday night and got there Saturday evening. Sunday morning we made our first trip to FBC, Nicholson in order to worship with them during their morning service. Afterwards we had lunch with the pastor and his family, unloaded the food we'd brough for their food bank, then had a planning meeting with some church members for our Thursday night block party.

On Monday, the pastor was driving all over creation to teach at a seminary, so we were on our own (with some direction from him). We helped an older couple pull all of the furniture out of their house. They'd evacuated to Baton Rouge or someplace during the storm and hadn't come home for a while, so they didn't realize that their roof had sustained some damage and was leaking into their house. By the time they came back, all of their furniture, rugs, drapes, etc. were ruined. We also re-tarped their roof.

Tha didn't take us nearly as long as we'd expected, so we went over to the local elementary school. The principal was a member of FBCN, so we knew before we came what some of their needs were. In their county, all students are required to wear school uniforms. However, many of the displaced students don't have uniforms, so we brought some extra uniforms from our church's school for some of their students to use. When we stopped by to drop them off, we noticed that the roof of one of their portable classrooms needed some help, so we offered to re-tarp it. While a few of us did that, the rest of the group went over to the Pastor's house to remove the debris from his yard.

The next day, we went to the home of another elderly couple. It had been their home for over 50 years. They hadn't sustained a lot of roof damage, but it had taken two weeks for them to be able to get to their door due to all of the downed trees, so their carpets had picked up a lot of moisture. Their insurance company told them to go ahead and remove the old carpet, but to hang onto their furniture for the time being. So we spent the first day moving furniture around and pulling up carpets. While we were there, we heard stories about how beautiful the yard was since the gentleman was a gardener/landscaper, so we took the next day to try to return their yard to some semblance of order.

That day was the most heartbreaking for me. That couple had spent over 50 years cultivating their yard and now that they should be able to just sit back and enjoy it, it's practically gone. Don't get me wrong, they still have a few bushes and flowers, etc., but even the lady of the house realizes that, while it _will_ grow back, it's not going to do it in their lifetimes.

They'll make it through, but....well....I just can't imagine working so hard all those years to have it taken away like that.

On Thursday, we mostly just got ready for our block party, but we did spend the morning vising down closer to the shore in Waveland, MS. We went all the way down Nicholson Ave. to the coast. For several blocks from the coast, the houses were just completely leveled. For a few blocks beyond that, they were destroyed, although still mostly there. We were told that the storm surge was approximately 50 ft deep there at the coast, so even the tall palms and pines that were there were completely underwater for a time. The water reached in about 10 miles from the coast. Understand though that, unlike New Orleans where the water was trapped, this water receeded almost immediately after the storm passed...taking much with it.

Not at all to belittle the people from Waveland's tragedy, but it seems to me that they'll have it easier in many ways than folks in places like Nicholson. See, their homes are gone. All of their belongings are gone. They just have to accept that, bulldoze the debris, and start over. The people in places like Nicholson are going to spend the next several years dealing with insurance to fix roofs and remove trees and replace furniture and belongings and remove mold. The task is so overwhelming.

So we did the only thing left for us to do. We spent Thursday evening providing a needed distraction. We rented a moonbounce with a slide and provided live music and free hot dogs for a couple of hours. The people were so appreciative, the parents especially. They got to watch their kids _play_ for a few hours without thinking about the storm or their monumental task to rebuild. They didn't have to think about being evicted due to their trailer park's sewage system backing up. They didn't have to think about the clean-up process.

With that done, we drove home after one last wonderful lunch with our hosts, arriving back at FBC Laurel (MD, not MS!) at about 7:30 AM on Saturday. We're all still tired and still sorting through our own thoughts and responses to what we saw.

I _can_ say that the team that came together at the last possible minute was definitely Providential in its planning. We got along together so well and just enjoyed each others' company. But we're all glad to be home.

Em-Eye-Ess-Ess-Eye-Ess-Ess-Eye-Pee-Pee-Eye

(That's spells Mississippi, btw).

As soon as our last team member gets here, we're leaving the church to head down to Nicholson, MS. Our church is partnering with FBC Nicholson to help them and their community get back on their feet after Hurricane Katrina. This trip is mostly for us to do some assessment to see what they need and how we can help over the next couple of years, but we know we'll be helping a couple of elderly families clean up mold (and possibly just see what of their stuff we can salvage, if the houses are too far gone), and pulling up some carpet (possibly at the church). The big thing we'll do, however is to have a big "block party" or carnival on Thursday night. The minister of music (who's the pastor leading this trip), another lady, and myself will be providing the evening's musical entertainment, we're hoping to rent a moonbounce, and we've got sno-cone and popcorn machines. Hopefully it'll give people a welcome and needed distraction from their current situations. In the future, we hope to bring down trained counselors since that's really what they need the most right now.

So y'all be thinking of us. It's a 24-hr drive each way with a week of work in the middle. Also be thinking of VNB since he's graciously doing without me for yet another week (he'd be there with us in a heartbeat if he had the leave, but he seems to think that having enough vacation for a honeymoon is important for some reason... ;p ).

I hope I'll have internet access at least for one hour this week as I've got a web-based quiz that's due before Thursday. We download it from a website, then have an hour before we have to upload it again, but we have until next Thursday to do it. But I can't make any promises that I'll blog while I'm there. I'll definitely let y'all know when I'm back though!

What a Difference a Year Makes

A year ago today I left Iraq. I distinctly remember as we were going through one of the many security checkpoints at the airport (the point at which we said goodbye to our drivers) thinking that I shouldn't leave. I should just go back home with the drivers.

But then "logic" or "reason" kicked in. "But you're going to a conference and you're actually interested in what they're going to teach you." "It's only a few days. You'll be back soon." And the real kicker: "You're going to get to go SCUBA diving in the Red Sea!"

Little did I know that I wouldn't get to go back. That those hurried goodbyes at the checkpoint would be the last words I got with our national staff. That those would be my last views of Baghdad.

Today, a year later, my fiance and I closed on a condo in Columbia, MD. A year ago, I almost didn't get on the plane that took me out of Iraq. Today I'm engaged, about to get my Master's degree, and have a new condo to paint and decorate in preparation for living there once VNB and I get married.

I still can't explain how much I miss Iraq. I really loved it there. There are times that it's almost a physical longing to go back. Even now, as wonderful as my life is, I wonder sometimes what life would have been like if I'd listened when that voice said "don't get on the plane." Would God have arranged something even more amazing so that VNB and I would have met at exactly the perfect time? Would I still be there? Would I be five months away from getting married?

What a difference a year makes!

Big Steps

So on Saturday, VNB and I took two of many "big steps." We realized that we could save some money if I was added to his cell phone plan and if I started using his gas card.

His company gives him 15% off of his cell phone bill, plus calling each other would be free, and with the "family" plans, we can share like 800 minutes. PLUS, they were running a special on that particular plan, so we get it for $30/month instead of $80/month for the first two months (not including his discount). Add that to the fact that we no longer have to pay my monthly bill, and we're saving a boatload of money.

Then with his gas card, he gets like 5% back on gas purchases at Shell stations as long as he goes to at least 5 in a year or something. So especially with gas prices the way they are right now, we're gonna save a lot of money there too.

So basically, the moral of the story here is this: marriage saves you money. :)

Article

This is an article that will never make "Headline" news, but shows one of the many improvements that have been made to Iraq since the fall of Saddam.

I'm Ba-aaaack!!

Well, I'm still in a general state of wooziness, but we all made it back safely. It was a fun trip, but I'm really glad to be back home! More later when my brain feels less "fluffy."

Oh, BTW

Oh, BTW, I get married six months, an hour, and five minutes from now!!

I'm OK!!

I'm still in Nigeria. We'll be here for a few more days. A few of us took a few minutes at an internet cafe, so, since I had some time, I thought I'd drop a line here to let y'all know that I'm ok.

So, I'm ok! :) I'll write more when I get back and have more time.

Nigeria!!

So I leave today for Nigeria. I'm going with a group from my church to visit in Lagos and Ayetoro (a "village" a couple of hours north-east-ish of Lagos). I'm really looking forward to the trip, although it'll be really hard to be away from VNB for most of 17 days. But, God worked everything out so that he could see me off and pick me up, which means a whole lot to me. Since we started dating, there's never been a day that we haven't talked to each other, even if it was just on the phone. That's a record that I didn't really want to have broken.

But I'm writing, not just to sing the praises of my betrothed (although I'm sure I'll do some more of that too), but also to say that I'm not sure I'll get email/internet access while there, so if I don't post before the 18th, you'll know why. :)

In some ways, we have every minute planned out, but in a lot of ways, we have no idea what we're going to be doing while we're there. This trip is something of a practice in flexibility and patience for all of us.

The biggest part of "not knowing" for me is that I have no idea why I'm going on this trip. I was kind of intrigued by the idea of going to Africa, but didn't have the funds to go. The pastor said that I "needed to go," and funds appeared, so I'm going.........but I don't really know why. I guess I'll see that while I'm there. Maybe it's to prove to me that I don't want to do any more international trips without VNB (a thought I already was fostering).

I don't know. I guess I'll see when I'm there, or possibly in the months and years to come afterwards (in sha'allah).

Talk to y'all on the 18th, if not before!

By Popular Demand

You asked for it, you got it. Here's me and my Sweetie!

RA 6h 3m 17.14s, D 17deg 15m 17.79s

If you go to this website and put in the above coordinates, the output will be several "plates" from which you can extract the image of a star. The picture shown here is a sample of one of those images. This star (I _think_ it's the one in the center of the picture), formerly known as #02131700154 is now known as "The Marry Me Star."

On Saturday, July 9th, at roughly 3PM, VNB changed from "Very Nice Boyfriend" to "Very Nice Betrothed" when he asked me to marry him and I said, "YES!!!!"

VNB and I will be married (in sha'allah) on February 11, 2006 at First Baptist Laurel - 7 months from today!!! So mark your calendars now!

As a friend of mine at church said yesterday, I went from Iraq to "a rock" when he put this ring on my finger.


I'm getting married!!!

I Remembered!

So I remembered two more books I've thought of writing:

"Medicine Head" of the Soul

I don't know about the rest of you, but there has been at least one time in my life when I just felt disconnected, spiritually. It was similar to when I take cold/sinus medicine, except without the sniffles and coughs. My brain was still there with all of its knowledge, but the rest of me felt far away. I think this one was supposed to be auto-biographical, following my journey back. I even started it once, but I think that was lost with the great hard drive crash of '04. It's still a great name, but I'm not sure I could write this one anymore.

The Theology/Philosophy of C.S. Lewis' "Space Trilogy"

I've been a fan of C.S. Lewis' writing ever since I first read The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe when I was a child. Sometime during my early teens, I read his "Space Trilogy" (Out of the Silent Planet, Perelandra, and That Hideous Strength). At that time, I enjoyed the story in the first, followed the story in the second, and was completely lost in the third. I read it again sometime in high school and still enjoyed the story in the first, enjoyed the story in the second, and started to follow the third. Sometime in college, I noticed that the second book had a _lot_ of philosophical discussions in it. I'm not sure if I glossed over those parts before, or what, but I honestly didn't remember them being there. I read them again after college and noticed that the first wasn't just a story - there was a lot more to it too. And the third is completely different from the first two, but at the same time completely inter-related. If for no other reason than my own curiosity, I'd like to do something of a scholarly look at the philosophy and theology espoused by the books.

It'll be at least a few weeks before I start on that one though because I need to write my "scholarly paper" for school. In fact, I'm avoiding that as I type, so I should get to it.

Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore Art Thou Romeo?

So my little brother, Link, got the lead part in some play that "maybe" you've heard about. It's Shakespeare's "Romeo and Juliette." Hopefully it comes as no shock to anyone that the lead role he got was of Romeo, not Juliette. Anyway, if you happen to be passing through Cookeville, TN over the next few days, you might want to try to catch him. Info, and a picture of Link looking very higlighted, can be found here.

Changes to Common Sense (the blog, that is)

Because of my previous location and job, my blog wasn't publicly available (i.e., it wasn't advertised by blogspot.com, nor did I have my blogspot profile publicly available). Basically, the only way you'd know about it was if I (or someone I'd told) told you about it.

Well, I don't live there anymore, and I don't do that job anymore, so I've just made some changes. They won't affect anyone that I know of, but now, maybe some bored person will stumble onto my blog and find it interesting.

So if that's you, then welcome and I hope you enjoy it! :)

Also, if you're interested, my little sister has a blog now too. To prevent anyone from Googling her name and finding out all about her, I'll name her Eliana...since that's her elf name anyway. I may add a "cast of characters" to the sidebar here soon just so you'll know who I'm talking about. (Heh...and so I'll remember too!) Anyway, Eliana's site is on xanga.com and here's the link. Expect much talk of Tolkien, Lord of the Rings, and Elves (although probably not the Santa or Keebler kind - you know...the _real_ ones).

Books I Hope to Write Someday

I've had some of these titles in the back of my head for years and years now (although some are a "little" more recent). I've even started writing some of them from time to time...but my biggest problem is that, while I seem to be great with titles, what I really have to say seems to only take up a few pages. But here they are. If you're a writer and you steal one...well...dedicate it to me or something. That is, unless I've got a book deal and my version is like two weeks away from coming out. Then I might be mad.

"The Other Brother"

This was mainly a book of encouragement for people like me - people who, while they did their share of "sinning," didn't do the "big" stuff. That is, stuff that would be a scandal at church like leave the church, have a child out of wedlock, sleep around, get arrested for something, be gay, etc. That's not to say that we're any less in need of salvation since all sins are equally bad in God's eyes...but we've never done anything "really bad" in the eyes of people - just like the "other brother" in the parable Jesus told about the "Prodigal Son." In that story, a rich man has two sons. The younger one decides that he's not going to wait for his father to die - he wants his inheritance _now_! So his dad gives it to him, and he goes off and spends wildly and loses it all in a short amount of time. He becomes destitute and decides that he'd rather be a servant in his father's household than live on the streets, so he goes back. His father sees him coming and instead of making him a servant (as he deserves), he runs out to meet him, cleans him up, and throws him a big party. Needless to say, the "other brother" is kinda upset. Here he was, doing his job the whole time, being "good," while his brother ran off to get into who-knows-what, but _HE_ never got a party.

And we hear sermon after sermon about the Prodigal Son that we just can't relate to since we've never run away to a life of debauchery - we've always stayed "home" and been "good." Our only part in the story is a gruff reminder from the Father that all that is remaining in His household is ours and we can have a party any time we want to, but we should rejoice that the Prodigal Son has returned.

In my own life, this happened when friends who _did_ sleep around always seemed to have boyfriends, while I was always single. And especially when those same friends had babies when I wanted them, while I waited...and waited...and waited...(and still wait!). Here I was, doing things "right," while they "messed up" and got "everything" I wanted.

Now, clearly, my feelings were an exaggeration because a) I was far from "right" most of the time, b) they were just "messing up" in _different_ and more public ways than I was - I was still messing up, and c) they _weren't_ getting "everything" I wanted because, deep down, I "wanted" those things in the "right" way (and, of course, it wasn't truely "everything").

So, the book would be geared towards people who, like me, haven't done anything "majorly wrong," and who take some pride in that, but are kinda irked when they see people who _do_ do "big" stuff wrong get things they want. And it would have three main points, maybe four:
1) We're not as perfect as we think we are.
2) All sins are equal in God's eyes, we're just better at hiding ours maybe (which could be considered worse in some respects than letting our sins be known).
3) As in the story, we're _going_ to get those things we want - we just have to wait until the right time (the Other Brother _did_ get his inheritance too, and in fact, everything his Father still owned belonged to him - he just had to wait).
4) Our focus, instead of being on the "things" that the other people are getting (as the Father in the story points out to the Other Brother), should be on the Father's business. Psalm 34:5 says that if we "delight ourselves in the Lord, He will give us the desires of our heart" (that's the "Melissa Standard Version, btw - i.e., not a "real" translation of the Bible...just the general gist of the verse however I remember it). While that verse is something of a Catch-22 (if the Lord is our "delight," then our desires will be whatever He wants), He is also our creater and knows us and our desires better than we know ourselves. He knows when that perfect person is going to come along, or that perfect job, or babies, or a house, or whatever it is that you're dreaming of, and He knows exactly how long you're going to need to wait before it all happens. So in the meantime, He prepares us for His Business and so that we'll be ready when we actually _do_ get those "desires of our heart."

Obviously, there's not too much to say about points 1 and 2...and I've basically said a lot of what I want to say for points 3 and 4. Hence the not writing of this book. But it's still a great idea!

"'Twitterpated' with God"

In the movie "Bambi," after he and Thumper have survived the winter together, the springtime comes and the boys find themselves "twitterpated" (in the words of the Owl). Everyone's felt that way (you know, "in love") from time to time - when all you want is to be near the other person, to say their name, to do things that will make them happy, all you can talk about is them and how wonderful they are.

Well, what I just described is what the Christian life really ought to be, except that we'd be "twitterpated" with God rather than another person (although both can happen at once).

The thing is, in a "real" relationship, the feeling "in love" comes and goes - especially after you've been together for a while. Some days you'll see your significant other in ways that are decidedly _not_ "twitterpating." Which is why I think marriage shouldn't be based on being "in love" (but that's a different book :) ). But all of the things we're commanded to as believers really seem to fit this description of being "in love" with God. So what do we need to do to restore the "romance" in our relationship with Him?

And what would Christendom look like if we all felt that way?

Crud....there was at least one more that I can't think of right now. Oh well, I'll post it later. I hope you enjoyed my book ideas!

Happy Birthday, Iraq (and me too)!!!

So today, the Iraqi democracy turned one year old, and I turned 29. I didn't hear of any celebrations in Iraq, but I know that I was celebrating for them in my heart today. I've found myself in recent days "plagued" by something akin to homesickness. I've heard that there was a second wave of "culture shock" around six months out, and I think I'm beginning to experience it.

While my roommate's husand has been home on leave, I've been staying with some friends from church who have cable and have caught a couple of episodes of Discovery's "Operation Homecoming." In one, a soldier who had been writing to some school children surprised them when he came home. When he began giving each child a "Saddam" (250 Iraqi dinars in the old Iraqi currency - it had a huge picture of Saddam on it and was the base unit of currency there, like the $1 bill is here), I burst into tears, completely unexpectedly.

I literally spent two hours yesterday going to all of the supermarkets in Laurel looking for pomegranates. I've been craving them because they'd be starting to show up in all the markets in Iraq right now.

But I was ok today. VNB made me leave work early today so that we could go on a picnic. After the picnic, he gave me my birthday present - a print of Van Gogh's "Starry Night," which is my favorite painting. After that, we had some time to kill, so we watched a movie. Then I got all "dolled up" and we saw "The Lion King" (the musical version, not the movie) at a theater in Baltimore.

Not only that, but the Orioles beat the Yankees in extra innings, so it's a good day all around! :)

So happy birthday, Iraq! May many more come to you, and may each be a little safer and more secure!

And happy birthday to me! And thank You to my Other Boyfriend for all the wonderful things He gives to me, especially VNB!

Posting

It's been _waaaay_ too long, I know. But there are books to read and people to hang out with (yes, yes, including "VeryNiceBoyfriend," henceforth VNB) and restaurants to visit (and Star Wars toys to buy at Burger King - curse, you Burger King, with your 31 toys that are all cute or fun!) and TV to watch and games to play!

But I'm going to commit to at least one post per week. Fridays are my usual day off, so they're the most likely candidate for posting day.

I'm not even sure that anyone other than my mother and maybe my friend Chris read this anymore, but I like to write, and I really feel that this is a good way to work through the thoughts that run through my head occasionally. I'm not _forcing_ anyone to read, so I won't feel guilty about writing whatever I feel like. :)

So, read if you want. I'm more writing for me than for anyone else (well, other than Him). I commit to _not_ adding a counter to my site since I'm not trying to make this about my own popularity.

I'm pretty sure I need to update the sidebar, so I'll try to remember to do that today. It probably won't include quite so much stuff.

So, thanks for reading. I'll try to be more regular in my posts. Enjoy!

O-R-I-O-L-E-S!!!

So I've figured out why the Orioles are kicking butt and taking names this season. You see, all the _other_ teams in Major League Baseball are finally off of steroids. The Os aren't playing any better or worse than they have in recent years, the other teams just aren't hopped up on the "juice" anymore!

:)