Monday, February 28, 2005

Snow Flutt'ring Down's snowing again in the DC area. The Weather Channel (.com) is calling for 4-7" today with a possible 2-4" more overnight. But watching it come down....and a lot of other things....has put me in a thoughtful mood.

I think God has called my bluff. I've talked some big words about some things, and I think He's saying, "Ok, here's what you said you wanted...pretty much you have the guts to go through with it?"

It's scary to think about...but not at all scary at the same time...which may be the scariest thing of all.

Heh...I just re-read the title of my blog...and I have my answer.

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Jesus is my Boyfriend

I'm sure you're all wondering what a single girl (whose most recent foray into the world of dating ended with the guy taking yet another leap off the face of the earth) did for Valentine's Day, especially since V-Day was the anniversary of the best puppy in the world's untimely death.

Well, first off, for the first time, probably ever (except possibly for the years I was dating JM), I wasn't dreading V-Day for V-Day reasons. Its approach made me think of Mara and that made me sad, but I didn't dread V-Day. Several years ago my two "adopted" aunts began the tradition of celebrating the man in their lives for V-Day. Both being single believers, that man was Jesus. When JM and I broke up, I started joining them, as did various other strays from time to time.

While I'd always enjoy the food (we'd eat crabs!) and the company, I always hated the evening because it was a glaring reminder that I wasn't feeling how I knew I ought to feel (ok with who I am, content with being single, etc.). I knew I ought to be ok, but I just didn't feel that way so the feelings of desire for a flesh and blood guy to do something romantic for me were combined with the feelings of guilt that I _had_ those feelings since I knew I should be "content whatever state I was in."

Last year, the guy mentioned above and I had only just met a month or so before, so I sorta just ignored it and so did he. I still kinda _hoped_ that he'd do something, but I didn't make a big deal of it since it was so soon since we'd met. And then when I actually saw him the next day, Mara dominated the conversation, so it just never came up.

But this year...I dunno how to explain it other than that when I'd think of V-Day, I just wouldn't care that I didn't "have anybody." Life is great! I didn't feel unworthy of love due to the fact that no guy had made his interest known. I know that I'm unworthy of love, but it has nothing to do with what guys think (or don't think) of me, and God loves me anyway. :) I don't _have_ to wait for His call after we spend time together because He never leaves (in a good way).

Anyway, apparently all of this is just an unexpected (but welcome) side effect of all I've learned recently.

But we continued our tradition of our V-Day dinner and this year opened it up to the other single women at the church. We didn't have a huge crowd, but we had a good group. We ate well and enjoyed great company, even though most of us didn't know everyone else. One lady came that no one knew. She actually came to the church door looking for assistance right as we were getting started. She'd been given the number to our deacon hotline previously during another crisis, but had lost the number and was in another situation which required help. I didn't know who she should call, so we invited her to join the party while I found out. Then, when we found out what she needed to do, we invited her to stay and eat dinner, which she agreed to do. When we went around the room to introduce ourselves, she was one of the last ones to talk, which was really good because that gave several others the opportunity to say how they were single moms and for me to say how I am unemployed, so it wasn't a big deaal when she said those same things. We sent her home with lots of leftovers and party favors for her kids and she said that the evening had really touched her, so she and her kids would be at church on Sunday morning. Al hamdoo lillah! :)

It was a great evening! Plus, I got to play delivery girl to bring a card designed by Dawn's husband Joe and some flowers to Dawn. So it was fun to make the day extra-special for her too.

_AND_ (as if all of that wasn't enough), when I woke up, there was snow on the ground! All some guy would do is maybe bring me flowers. Who made the flowers? Jesus. And who knew exactly what I wanted for V-Day (i.e., snow)? Jesus. And who's the only Guy able to give me exactly what I wanted? Jesus! So forget all you other guys - _Jesus_ is MY boyfriend.....unless of course He's willing to share me because that would be nice too. ;p

Saturday, February 12, 2005

Engineering Fun

I've been spending a great deal of time these past few days playing wtih orbits for the s/c we're designing in my satellite design class. It's been a whole lot of fun. I've missed this stuff soooooooo much! I've recently been appointed the systems engineer for our group (mostly because I'm the one with the most time) and am just having a blast putting together budgets and stuff. I know it sounds boring, but the systems people get to have their fingers in a bit of everything, and I _love_ that! ;p

The other thing that's been taking a great deal of time has been my piano!!!! I had it delivered on Tuesday and, as a Valentine's Day gift to one of my great loves, will get it tuned on Monday. :) It's a "little" worse for wear due to life with little kids, followed by life at church, but it still sounds great and isn't really that far out of tune.

I've still got some irons in the fire in terms of "real" jobs, but I may end up just getting a part-time clerical-ish job that'll give me access to benefits. I'll have to get student loans for the first time in my life...but it's almost gonna be worth it if I get to keep my current lifestyle of living mostly in my pjs. :)

I've also just heard from my friend Khulood. I've been a terrible correspondent due to connectivity issues and just my own issues with living out of a suitcase, but she and her family are doing well. It's so good to hear from her!

I've also finally started watching my Buck Rogers DVDs. They are funk-o-licious! And did you know that in the originial movie/mini-series thing that there are _words_ to the theme song?!! I had no idea!! But my favorite part during the credits which are _very_ late-70s chic is when Erin Grey (Col. Wilma Deering) "seductively" tosses her very fluffy mane. It is hi-larious! As is the end when she tells Buck "I know I've been cold in the past, but I'm going to show you every day that I'm all woman." That is _so_ out of character for Wilma (and just such a stupid, cliche thing to say) that I was rolling, I was laughing so hard.

But I can definitely see why I was in love with Buck (yes, even at 3 and 4). He's the man. There are just no two ways about it. The actor's gotten old and fat, but Buck is still the coolest 500-year-old man ever to fly an Earth Defense Force ship.

Anyway, I should get back to my engineering fun. It's interface diagrams for me today! Woohoo!!

Friday, February 04, 2005

Resumes I'm an Alias fan. There are no two ways about it. I have been since about the middle of the first season when I visited my friends Phil and Lori (and Andrew and Katy) and Phil turned me on to it. It's just a cool show. Somewhat vulnerable girl kicks baddie spy butt! And there are hot guys too! And a geeky guy!! And enough soap-opera-esque backstory to keep you watching and re-watching old seasons for signs of what eventually became.

So what does that have to do with resumes, you might ask? Well, just for the record, yesterday I submitted an on-line application for a couple of positions at APL (in addition to having friends there distribute my resume since that really works better at APL). But because of Alias, I have just completed the on-line resume submission for the CIA.

Get I finished the submission, the modem started making dailing noises again. It hadn't disconnected at all. It just decided that right as I was submitting a resume to the CIA (for various jobs which actually looked really cool and could be an interesting blend of my aerospace and overseas experiences) to made dailing noises again.

I am convinced that some Marshall-like person is now sitting in a cubicle at the CIA watching me. So, um, "Hi, Marshall-like person! He's my favorite geeky character on the show, although I did think it was cool when Carrie showed up and he got a girlfriend!"

What's funny is that they got my address from the form. Now they're just watching me, even though they already know where I live. I'm being surveiled. Heehee...

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

Occupation my schtick since I've been back is to tell people that, while the media is not lying to them about what's happening in Iraq (as in, this isn't "Wag the Dog" with actors making up a war), they're not telling the _whole_ story - i.e., people _live_ there, go to school, go to work, go shopping, have babies, get married, etc.

The thing is, lately I've noticed that the media _is_ lying about one thing. They keep talking about the "occupation" of Iraq by US and Coalition forces. From, here are the definitions of the word "occupation:"

oc·cu·pa·tion ( P ) Pronunciation Key (ky-pshn)

1. a. An activity that serves as one's regular source of livelihood; a vocation.
b. An activity engaged in especially as a means of passing time; an avocation.

2. a. The act or process of holding or possessing a place.
b. The state of being held or possessed.

3. a. Invasion, conquest, and control of a nation or territory by foreign armed forces.
b. The military government exercising control over an occupied nation or territory.

(Source: The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition Copyright © 2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company. Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.)

Clearly, definition 1 does not apply in this case. Definition 2 could be applicable, but definition 3 is by far the most applicable.

Now, the Coalition forces _did_ "occupy" Iraq from roughly April 2003 until June 28, 2004. But, on June 28, 2004 (my birthday, btw...have I mentioned that before? Have I mentioned how cool I think that is? Because it's _way_ cool!), the Coalition Provisional Authority (the occupying power) transferred their authority to an interim Iraqi government. So, at that point they stopped exercising control (note in definition 3a the three things required for an "occupation" - invasion, conquest, and _control_) over the sovereign nation of Iraq.

The Interim Iraqi Government promply then _asked_ the Coalition forces to remain in Iraq indefinitely.

Let me tell you a little secret. When a government _asks_ you to be there, you're not an "occupying power," no matter what you may have been in the past.

So write/call in to every news source you hear use the term "occupation" in reference to the current situation in Iraq and tell them that they're wrong. Because they are and it's (purposely) misleading to those in the American/world populus who don't take the time to look up terms like that in the dictionary.