Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Jesus is my Boyfriend

I'm sure you're all wondering what a single girl (whose most recent foray into the world of dating ended with the guy taking yet another leap off the face of the earth) did for Valentine's Day, especially since V-Day was the anniversary of the best puppy in the world's untimely death.

Well, first off, for the first time, probably ever (except possibly for the years I was dating JM), I wasn't dreading V-Day for V-Day reasons. Its approach made me think of Mara and that made me sad, but I didn't dread V-Day. Several years ago my two "adopted" aunts began the tradition of celebrating the man in their lives for V-Day. Both being single believers, that man was Jesus. When JM and I broke up, I started joining them, as did various other strays from time to time.

While I'd always enjoy the food (we'd eat crabs!) and the company, I always hated the evening because it was a glaring reminder that I wasn't feeling how I knew I ought to feel (ok with who I am, content with being single, etc.). I knew I ought to be ok, but I just didn't feel that way so the feelings of desire for a flesh and blood guy to do something romantic for me were combined with the feelings of guilt that I _had_ those feelings since I knew I should be "content whatever state I was in."

Last year, the guy mentioned above and I had only just met a month or so before, so I sorta just ignored it and so did he. I still kinda _hoped_ that he'd do something, but I didn't make a big deal of it since it was so soon since we'd met. And then when I actually saw him the next day, Mara dominated the conversation, so it just never came up.

But this year...I dunno how to explain it other than that when I'd think of V-Day, I just wouldn't care that I didn't "have anybody." Life is great! I didn't feel unworthy of love due to the fact that no guy had made his interest known. I know that I'm unworthy of love, but it has nothing to do with what guys think (or don't think) of me, and God loves me anyway. :) I don't _have_ to wait for His call after we spend time together because He never leaves (in a good way).

Anyway, apparently all of this is just an unexpected (but welcome) side effect of all I've learned recently.

But we continued our tradition of our V-Day dinner and this year opened it up to the other single women at the church. We didn't have a huge crowd, but we had a good group. We ate well and enjoyed great company, even though most of us didn't know everyone else. One lady came that no one knew. She actually came to the church door looking for assistance right as we were getting started. She'd been given the number to our deacon hotline previously during another crisis, but had lost the number and was in another situation which required help. I didn't know who she should call, so we invited her to join the party while I found out. Then, when we found out what she needed to do, we invited her to stay and eat dinner, which she agreed to do. When we went around the room to introduce ourselves, she was one of the last ones to talk, which was really good because that gave several others the opportunity to say how they were single moms and for me to say how I am unemployed, so it wasn't a big deaal when she said those same things. We sent her home with lots of leftovers and party favors for her kids and she said that the evening had really touched her, so she and her kids would be at church on Sunday morning. Al hamdoo lillah! :)

It was a great evening! Plus, I got to play delivery girl to bring a card designed by Dawn's husband Joe and some flowers to Dawn. So it was fun to make the day extra-special for her too.

_AND_ (as if all of that wasn't enough), when I woke up, there was snow on the ground! All some guy would do is maybe bring me flowers. Who made the flowers? Jesus. And who knew exactly what I wanted for V-Day (i.e., snow)? Jesus. And who's the only Guy able to give me exactly what I wanted? Jesus! So forget all you other guys - _Jesus_ is MY boyfriend.....unless of course He's willing to share me because that would be nice too. ;p

1 comment:

Jesse said...

Jesus isn't enough to satisfy your needs.

After every day of creating, God saw it was good. After creating the first human being, talking with him and being physically with him in the perfection of sinlessness the triune God said, "...it is not good for man to be alone." Who says Jesus isn't enough to satisfy your loneliness? God does!

I would also like to recall the old sermon story... There's a man on a roof top surrounded by flood waters. He's asked by people in a rescue boat and a helicopter if he'd like to be saved and he says, "No thanks. God will save me." He drowns and goes to heaven and says, "God, why didn't you save me?" God says, "I sent a boat and a helicopter, what else did you want?"

God may want you to use the tools round you to find a mate rather than sit and wait for him to bring you one.

Helpful love-filled tender words brought to you by,

Your big brother