Potty Humor

Here's a little potty humor to (hopefully) brighten your Friday afternoon.

Just remember, the alternative to laughing about it is to cry...or, you know, not share with the world at all, but really, what fun is that?

So I just had two distinct urges: 1) I had to pee, 2) I had to barf. The conundrum confronted me when I reached the ladies room. Which first? The smell of peeing often makes me gag which leads to barfing, but the action of barfing could possibly lead to peeing. Being a girl, those two actions require facing two opposite directions in relation to the toilet. Hence my dilemma.

Sensing that perhaps the barfing was the more urgent of the two (and being the one over which I have less control), I did that first and was able to hold in the other momentarily.

Now, I'm feeling _MUCH_ better and am happily (and hungrily) finishing off my lunch.

Ah the joys of future motherhood!

He Gives and Takes Away

Before anyone gets too worried about me, VNB, or the baby, we're all ok.

Monday, VNB and I set our plan into motion for telling our church about the baby. Our plan was to purchase the flowers for the altar and have it put in the bulletin that they were given by us in honor of "the surprise blessing we expect to receive at the end of January." We got a beautiful arrangement in a cute, white basket with pink carnations and blue.....somethings.....amid daisys and other filler.

Saturday, VNB and I got up at our "regular" weekday time (~4:45) and drove to Smith Mountain Lake in VA for his annual family reunion. After breaking the big news to his family (he was wearing blue, I was wearing as close to pink as I get), I rode with him on the wave runner once (he drove very gently), rode in the boat as he water skied, but otherwise, sat in the shade with the "adults." :) Except for my feet sweeling near the end of the day, it was a beautiful, fun, relaxing time. While VNB took one last spin on the wave runner, I floated in the lake while chatting with VNB's sister to cool off my feet. We then cleaned up, said our goodbyes, and began our trip home.

It took us five hours to get there, but after a long-cut, it took six hours to get home. When we were about 15 minutes away, we got a phone call from one of our friends from church. Three of the newly graduated from high school boys at our church had been involved in a car accident, two were flown to shock-trauma in Baltimore, one was dead on the scene. One of the boys I've known since the day his parents adopted him when he was a baby, the other two I've known since they were stinky middle-schoolers. I've been their youth worker/counselor, their teacher, and their friend for many years.

I'm also very good friends with each of their families. The family of the boy who was adopted (the Morrises) have been very close with my family since we first moved to MD in 1982. His dad can play any instrument with strings and has been heavily involved in the music ministry for many years. His mom is one of the sweetest people on earth and works tirelessly in the church. His little sister was in the Sunday School class I taught for several years. Jonathan himself has always been very head-strong.....but if focused on something always excels. He was in the front passenger's seat and apparently hit his head pretty hard on the window. Half of his face is swollen with bruises, in addition to other scrapes, cuts, and bruises. He's still in a lot of pain, and isn't doing very well emotionally.

The family of the boy who was driving (the Alcotts) became friends of mine when I was teaching that Sunday School class of 3rdand 4th graders. Tim's dad, Gary, taught the 5th and 6th graders, and his little sister Jenny was in my class. His older brother Drew was in the youth group and one of my favorites because of his....mischeviousness. While I was overseas, Gary emailed me every single week to keep me up-to-date on the happenings of the church and of his family. That simple action was one of the sweetest things anyone did for me while I was away. It kept me close to the happenings at "home" and definitely gave their family an even softer place in my heart. Tim was driving when the car went too fast around the corner, flipped, and hit a tree. He's probably in the best condition, and was even able to visit the family of the third boy yesterday. Both he and Jonathan were released from the hospital very early on Sunday morning. He's got scrapes and bruises, but is otherwise physically ok. I'm sure the emotional battle is only just now beginning, despite being taken aside already by the third boy's twin and told that it wasn't his fault. Their family was coming home from buying snow cones a few miles from their house. The boys were in the lead car with Drew directly behind them. He saw the whole thing. He either called his family immediately, or they were shortly behind him. He's been troubled with drugs and other rebellious actions over the past few years. This is a very precarious time for him, too.

The family of the boy that died (the Groves) have been friends of mine for most of the last 6-7 years. I've been camping with them, Sherry (their mom) helped me to make some of my bridesmaids' dresses, I just sang at their oldest son Johnny's wedding a few weeks ago, and I've worked with them at many youth events...they're just a cool family with tireless energy for youth activities and church work. Hardest hit, of course, was Jay's twin brother, Jeff. The whole family is doing well, although there's naturally still some shock. I think his middle brother, Paul, is the one still the most in shock. He and Drew have been drug buddies off and on for years, but Paul's never left completely, always coming back in between (and sometimes during) bouts of addiction. But the whole family was at church yesterday because they knew that they needed the comfort of their church family, and that we needed them too.

So, after driving for 11 hours, and spending five hours on the lake, VNB and I headed to shock trauma to be with the families and the youth who were there. We ended up getting home around 2AM.

The Sunday morning services, of course, were difficult. Three of our pastors had maybe 2 hours of sleep, combined, and those of us who knew were like zombies, which really confused those who didn't know yet. But the touchpoint that everyone kept coming back to both Saturday night and all day Sunday was that there was no doubt that Jay was in Heaven, rocking out in worship, just like he did here on Earth only in ways we could never imagine.

On the advice of several people, I called the Maternity Center's non-emergency line, briefly explained what had happened, and asked them to call me back. My stomach was tying up occasionally, and I was a little dizzy from time to time, but really, nothing serious. It's just a precaution due to the long, physically-demanding day, followed by a long emotionally-demanding night and next (several) day(s). They probably won't even want to see me - I'll just tell them in more detail the various traumas, then explain in more detail about what happened with my body, and they'll tell me to try to take it as easy as I can over the next couple of days.

So be praying for the three families. For the guilt that the surviving boys (Tim, especially) will feel. In many ways, it will be far more rough on them and their families than it will be for the Groves. Also, for Tim's brother Drew to be able to live with the images he's seen while being completely unable to help in any way, and for both he and Paul that this helps to bring them further away from addictions, and not back into them. And for me, not just that "Lime" is ok (I'm pretty sure s/he is)....but the Groves have asked me to sing at Jay's funeral. Especially with all the pregnancy hormones making me always on the verge of tears anyway, that's going to be rough. Lastly, for the Grove family - that they continue to be examples to all of us in their understanding of hope and blessing, even in pain.

VNB had been concerned Saturday night about the flowers that we'd already bought, but I think it ended up being a good thing really. It was a good counterbalance - new physical life, and new life everlasting. As Job said, "He gives and takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord."

I'm a Hobbit and I'm OK, I Sleep all Night and I Eat all Day!

So, since becoming pregnant, I've also apparently turned into a Hobbit. Not only am I getting extra hair growing in places I'd rather it not be (my eye brows have always been "full," but now they're starting to creep down my eye lids), but I also eat a lot and frequently.

For instance, for breakfast this morning (which I never used to eat), I had a bacon, egg, and cheese Hot Pocket Biscuit. For "second breakfast," I had a fruit cup. For "Elevensies," I had a bag of Doritos, and am now wondering what to have for lunch, with the expectation that I'll snack on it most of the afternoon, then have another largish meal just prior to leaving work around 4:30, followed by pre-dinner snacking, dinner, and after-dinner snacking when I get home. Whew...all this eating makes me tired!

Eliana will have to tell me if there were ever any straight-haired hobbits (beside herself, of course).

Now, to please my mom (and to blend in with the rest of the Fellowship), I must get really dirty and have a single tear trickle picturesquely down my cheek. And start talking in an English accent.

Cheers!

Oversight

VNB and I recently (finally) set up our official wedding album, and now have to figure out what other shots we want (several other prints of our choosing were included in the package in addition to the album itself). In looking over them today, I realized that I never told you guys a) that you can look at them online, or b) how to look at them online.

Anyway, if you want to view the "big day," go to www.theprosphotos.com. At the bottom of the page, put in February 2006 and my first name. That search only brings up our pictures.

If you really want, you can even order some for yourself online. Chris, I know you still check up on me every now and again - there's a good one of you, Kenny-O and my church's trumpeter, and my Futron friends, there's at least one group shot of many of us (although some had left by that point), and several of me talking to "the old man."

But in any case, for anyone out there getting married in the near future, The Pros was a good way to go for us. Photography was the one thing I didn't want to cheap out on, but they offered a very good package for exactly what I expected to pay for even a "cheap" ok-ish package. We went to a little presentation where we got to see examples of the work of several photographers, then got to choose the one that best fit our tastes. Plus, they give the added bonus of back-up photographers, in the case (as happened with ours) where they can't make it for whatever reason. The guy we ended up with was very personable and very good with the little ones involved, not to mention that his last name was Tribble! :) No Trekker can go wrong with a name like that! There are, of course, a few things I wish had been done differently, but a lot of that is due to the rush we had after the wedding due to the wacky tux hi-jinks pre-wedding, so I understand.


Anyway, if you're bored sometime and feel like looking at pics of people you may or may not know, this is a good way to fill some time!

Oh yeah...

I was just reading over my blog and realized that I'd never told you about my new job. I'm working for my old company. I started June 5th and still have yet to really be given a billable task to do (that is, something that we can charge to a customer). We've got a couple of "development" types of things that I'm working on, but nothing "real" at this point.

But back to work for me.

Great Expectations

Hey All!

I'm not dead, really....I'm just really bad at keeping secrets, so it's far easier to hide than it is to cover.

So, my sincerest apologies to all of you (especially Jenn J. and Tom G.) who have written/called, and to whom I haven't responded. I'm getting there, I promise.

Anyway, as I told another friend today, married life is great, but the honeymoon is definitely over - and the baby's due at the end of January, 2007!

That's right, VNB and I have "great expectations" which have made me rather ill, pretty much since day one. This week is approximately our 12th week, so we're just now getting into the 2nd trimester, when everyone says the "morning sickness" (HA! "All-day sickness is FAR more like it!) will get better "soon." I'm looking forward to that day!

It's a "little" sooner than we'd planned, but we think the reason for that is that VNB wasn't specific enough. He said that we'd start a family after a year. What he didn't say (but what he actually meant) was that we'd start trying to have a family after a year. So......God, with His wicked sense of humor took us at our word....and decided to give a whole new twist to the "paper anniversary." :)

But the due date is perfectly scheduled, as usual. It's the day after VNB finishes his store's semi-annual inventory, making him free to walk away for a week from work without any second thoughts. Oh....but if you work at my current company (or still interact with someone who does)...they don't know yet (well, a couple of people do, but not "management"), so don't spill, please! I'll probably let them know by the end of this month. I was gonna wait until my 90-day review (at Bear's suggestion).....but my waist has already grown four inches...so I'm thinking that by early September (assuming they do it on time, which is unlikely), it'll be a "little" obvious, so I should "probably" mention it to them before then.

We had our first "big" doctor's visit last Thursday. I was thoroughly checked out, and we got to hear the baby's heartbeat. VNB and I were both _VERY_ relieved to hear only one. :) But it was a strong one, and everything looks good! We'll go back in mid-August for another check up, at which time I think they'll prescribe our first ultrasound!

We're actually not going to a standard OB/GYN, but instead to a practice of Registered Nurse Mid-wives. Now before you email/comment saying that I'm going to get sliced up with bear knives and have leeches put on me, realize that these women are all RNs who have completed a graduate program in nurse/midwifery. They approach childbirth more holistically/naturally than most "regular" docs do in that, they let you do what seems comfortable to you, while still being safe for your baby. They _only_ take low-risk pregnancies and refer everyone else to "real" docs. They also have a great relationship with the hospital down the street. We have the choice of planning to give birth in the hospital or in their birthing center, but the first thing we have to sign is a legal statement saying that we won't fight them if they tell us we have to go to the hospital. One real advantage of going to the midwives is that their office is right in between mine and VNB's, so we can both easily make all appointments! Another cool thing is that these are the same midwives as those who helped my mom give birth to my little brother (as in, the woman who checked me out on Thursday was the primary midwife at his birth, and the lady who founded the place).

In other news, we're trying _not_ to find out the sex of the baby in advance. I think that's gonna be harder than VNB realizes, but that's ok. I'm not a big fan of the color pink anyway, so it doesn't bother me to have yellows and greens with some blues mixed in.

Y'all are welcome to make name suggestions, to which in response we will smile, nod, and say "that's a nice name," then we will go on our way and pick one out for ourselves. You'll find out the baby's name when he or she is born.

If I remember, I'll keep a running tab on size/weight deltas (that's "changes" for all you non-geeks out there) in the side-bar.

Oh, and any FBCL folks still out there, we're telling the church as a whole on Sunday, so, while it's not really a "secret" anymore, it's also not common knowledge yet. So, if it slips, it's no biggie, but we'd prefer to tell people in our own way if we can.

Speaking of which, I need to call the church office!

I promise I'll write more now that I don't have to pretend that I don't feel like crap!

Happy Birthday!

So yesterday was my (gasp) 30th birthday. Not nearly as traumatic as my 20th (when I stopped being a teenager). Life is so good right now that it's hard to complain.

Anyway, my birthday also happens to be Iraq's (new) birthday. June 28, 2004 was the day that the Coalition Provisional Authority officially ended the occupation of Iraq by giving control back to the Iraqi people in the form of the Interim Government.

So, happy 30th birthday to me and happy 2nd birthday to Iraq!

Also, on another note, congrats to the women of Kuwait who ran in elections and voted for the first time ever yesterday as well, I believe (possibly today).

Raindrops Keep Failling on my Head....

Those of you in the DC area know this already, but those outside of it may not be aware of the massive amounts of rain that have fallen in MD over the last few days. Let me tell you, it's been a lot. Major roadways (including portions of the Capitol Beltway) have been shut down due to standing water, debris, and even mud slides! Some places have measured over a _FOOT_ of rain since Thursday, although National Airport "only" reports ~10" (so far - we're getting more tonight!).

Federal buildings (like the National Archives, the IRS, and the EPA) are shut down due to flooding-related power outages and other electrical problems. One Metro (subway) station had four feet of water in it yesterday. They were pumping out the basements of most of the Smithsonian museums on the Mall, and at least two of those were closed again today.

After sitting in traffic for 45 mintes this morning, and only travelling 8 miles (with like 15 more to go in the same, or worse, traffic), I turned around and decided to work from home today. I actually _have_ gotten some work done, but it's been absolutely crazy these past couple of days.

We're in a ground-level condo, but we've got a huge ravine behind our building, so we didn't expect any floooding. Well, we were wrong. After a slightly soggy day sightseeing with VNB's folks (who picked a heck of a weekend to visit - and who almost got stuck here due to washed out train tracks!), VNB decided to get sick for the first time since I've known him. Around 9:30, on one of several trips to worship the porcelain god, he stepped in a huge puddle in our bedroom. Water apparently seeped in through a baseboard. Fortunately, we had exactly enough towels to clean it up, and we caught it before it did any damage. There weren't any puddles of water outside the building, and we haven't had any recurrences, but we called the condo association anyway, just so they recognize that it's _their_ problem to fix if the walls get moldy. :)

The most amazing thing to me though is that, a few days ago the local news radio station was talking about how low the local reservoir was. Well, today as I inched past the dam, I saw something I've never seen before. I think I've seen two or three gates open a smidge in the past. Last night, one gate was open, I guess about halfway (although I would have thought that was fully-open until today). When I passed it this morning, all six primary flood gates were open, four the half-way amount that I'd seen the night before, one, even more than those (so I'm assuming it was "fully-open), and one, open just a smidge. And even with that much relief, it seemed to me that a little water was leaking over the top of each of the gates, and they're still worried about people needing to evacuate homes that are adjacent to the reservoir. They definitely had to evacuate folks from the area below the dam. I haven't heard of any road closures in downtown Laurel itself, but the report was that the parking lot to the local train station (which is on Main Street) was under water.

It's just crazy. And they're expecting more heavy downpours tonight, and then thunderstorms for most of the rest of the week.

I "grok" that we're in the middle of a swamp.........but I've lived here for 24 years (off and on) and have never seen (or even heard of) anything like this.

Crazy, man....

You've Got Mail

So two days ago I got a non-descript, brown tube in the mail.

That's right folks. It's now officially official. To quote my "father," "I was once the learner, now _I_ am the MASTER."

I now have in hand a diploma that states for the official record that I have a Masters of Science degree in Aerospace Engineering.

woohoo....something else to add to my "I love me" wall. ;p

Interesting Sight

So my TempBuilding has pick-up boxes for UPS, FedEx, and DHL in the bottom of the stairwell. All three boxes have their final pick-up at 6PM.

Well, the other day I was leaving a few minutes before six and I saw an interesting sight as I came to the bottom of the stairs. The FedEx girl, DHL guy, and UPS guy were all just sitting there chatting like old friends. It didn't strike me until I was on my way out that they probably do that everyday as they wait for 6PM to roll around.....then they rush off to deliver more things.

I wonder if that's a quiet moment that they look forward to or an awkward moment that they try to avoid.

Last night I left at about the same time and was surprised to only see the DHL and UPS guys there. The FedEx lady wasn't there yet. I wonder if they missed her in their conversation.

Maybe they're both secretly in love with her. Maybe they try to do macho things in lifting packages and stuff to try to impress her. Perhaps they sit there discussing poetry and trying to impress her with their sensitive minds.




What? You don't make up stories about the people you see?

All I Ever Needed to Know About Church, I Learned From an Investment Firm

For all that I complain about the tedium, working at this investment firm as a temp has been a really great experience for me.

Except for the foul-mouthed old guy that I spoke of previously (and even him except for when he's cursing up a storm (very loudly) on the phone), the people here are probably the nicest group of people I've ever met.

What's so striking about them, I think, is that they genuinely care for one another. When one is having a bad day, they take them outside for a gripe session. When one undergoes surgery or illness, they visit them in the hospital and chide them if they don't report on their progress while they're out. They celebrate each others' birthdays. They hang out with each other outside of the office. They're professional without losing their humanity, and they're extremely welcoming.

I came into this, my first temp assignment, with the expectation that I'd be ignored and/or looked down upon (mostly because that's how I feel/felt about temps). Instead, they immediately treated me like one of their own. It's only been as the weeks progressed that I even realized that they hadn't all been here forever, but there were actually others who were almost as new as me.

I've been trying to figure out what it is that causes this familial attitude among them, and I can only assume that it's the lunches together. That 30 minutes a day when most of the company sits down together to eat gives everyone an opportunity to know everyone, and for everyone to be equal. At lunch, it's not the executive assistants vs. the accountants vs. the partners.....it's just a bunch of hungry people. We talk about our families, about movies, about our travel experiences.....about whatever comes up. And it seems that everyone recognizes the necessity of each of the others. The partners realize that they couldn't do their jobs effectively without the EAs to take care of them, etc. The bottom line of the lunch table is that we're all just hungry people.

And more and more, my thoughts come back to "this is how the church should be." The church should be this polite to one another. The church should care this much about each other. The church should take care of each other when someone's sick or hurting, and we should understand the usefulness of those who have different skill sets or giftings than our own.

So what can we do to the church to make it more like this investment firm?

• Size: Well....one advantage that the firm has is that it's relatively small. Instead of a mega-church, maybe we should look into "mini-churches." For all that I disliked the "church planting movement" methodology that I was taught (maximum of 12 people!!!! 13 people is way too many!!!! (among other things)), the more my church trys to become "Saddleback East" (i.e., BIG!!!!!!), the less I want to be there, and the more I long for a small church. That's partly because I feel lost in the crowd in terms of serving at my church (they have so much musical depth that I'm almost unnecessary, albeit nice to have around, while a small church could not only use my talents more frequently, they would also thereby give me far more opportunities to grow and improve), partly because I naturally recoil from "fads" like "Purpose-Driven, the flame thrower," but partly because it's become a logistical nightmare and I long for a simpler time.
• Breaking of bread: One of the tenets of the early church was that they "had all things in common" and that they "broke bread together." I think that much of this sense of community and family that I feel here is due to the daily ritual of eating together. So, I think that, as a church, we should eat together more. Not just the weekly Wednesday night dinner or the annual Labor Day picnic, but frequently, and with the same general group of people each time.
• Professionalism: One advantage that the investment firm has over the church is that people are expected to act "professionally." That's not to say that there's not the occasional cheery old guy with a foul mouth when he's on the phone.....but even he is a professional, attending all meetings he needs to attend, preparing for things, getting his job done. At the church, people seem to fit into one of two categories at most times they're either hiding everything from everyone else via "church face," or they're being "honest" and being some of the meanest, most spiteful people on the face of the earth. I guess sometimes, they're doing both. But there are very few who see Christianity in terms of something which should be practiced moment by moment - all of it, not just the parts that suit us at that particular time, but all of it - bearing one anothers' burdens means not only listening as others share theirs, but also sharing your own! As Christians, our "job" is to become more like Christ. Unless we are constantly striving to do this to the best of our ability, then we're not being "professional" about it.
• Respect: Probably the most important aspect of this firm that is sadly lacking in many churches is a respect for others' worth. Far too often we see only what is important to us. If we're Trustees, then we only see how people are destroying the building. If we're in the music ministry, then we only care about how to make that better. Often, we focus on our own thing to the neglect of others. Musicians complain about the rules the trustees lay down, and trustees complain about how much damage musical sets cause, etc., etc. (that's a fairly common example in most churches, I'm sure, but it could definitely be expanded to other examples). If, instead of seeing the other person or group as our enemy or as someone who's needlessly trying to curtail our fun/ministry, if we respect their opinions and them, if we recognize their value as people and as members of the community, we will not only save ourselves a great deal of angst, but we will often foster greater communication and understanding.

I'm sure there are other ways that the church could be better (barring removing the people from it). But now comes the hard part. How do we effect these kinds of changes?

Our new Sunday School class is trying, although they may not all be aware of it. We're a relatively small group (4-ish couples right now). We try to get together for dinner/games once a week in addition to our Sunday morning time. As far as I can judge (which isn't really my place), all of the people in the group are, for the most part, actively seeking to become more Christ-like, and they all seem to value and respect each other.

Hopefully we can continue those trends and find a way to expand our model to other classes or groups. We'll see.

Jobs!

So, last Thursday I received not one, but two job offers. Great news, right?

Well.....yes, and no.....

The first one I received was from the Army. They offered what I was making at my previous engineering job three years ago and before I got my MS. That kinda threw me for a loop. I knew that their offer would be lower than the others..........but for it to be exactly what I was making before was a "bit" of a blow. Especially given that my salary for the next two years would cap out at what the other company offered me up front. Now, in their defense, after I escape from their 2-year direct-hire program, that pay could possibly jump astronomically, plus I'd be helping to defend America, and I really liked the people there, etc., etc., but it's in defense (as opposed to space), and it's in Alexandria (1.5 hr drive on a good week day, 2+ on a bad one.....and that'd still be less time than it'd take me on public transport). Oh...and due to clearances, there would be no telecommuting ever. Plus lots of travel.

The second one I received was from my old company.....which I really didn't want to go back to and to whom I only applied because VNB made me. But, they offered me something "reasonable" (still far below what Salary.com says is the median for someone with my qualifications, but a heck of a lot more than I'm making as a temp....and $17k higher than the Army's offer)...and they're actually in the space industry....and "only" in Bethesda, which would be about 45 minutes on a good day and only 1.5 hours on a really bad one. Plus, if we needed to, I could commute in with VNB at o'dark-thirty, then metro to work, reversing that for the trip home. I could telecommute some days.....but a major downside is that they seem to be hiring me just because they want to, and not because they have any actual _work_ for me to do. So....while it's theoretically nice to have a high-paying job to sit around and do nothing....it'll probably drive me crazy in short order.

I mean, it's one thing to juggle white-out bottles when you're a temp who's being paid to be there to sign for packages........but to do it at three-times the pay? When, theoretically, there should be work for you to do? I'd far rather be busy than bored.

So....I dunno....I'll probably go with Futron again just because it doesn't make sense to hire on someplace purely for the expectation that you'll probably get a huge pay increase in two years......when you hope to be home, having babies in two years. Plus it's space. Not to mention not needing a clearance, so I could start at any time, rather than having to wait a month or two.

But I tell you.....even with all of the "spices" of relatively good pay and location, crow is still really hard to get down.

Back of the Boat

So last week at church, Pastor D was up from our adopted church in Nicholson, MS. He spoke, of course, on weathering the storms of life and his text was, of course, the story in Mark of Jesus sleeping in the back of the boat as the disciples faced a storm on the Sea of Galillee. Now, while not all of the disciples were fishermen, a goodly number were, so there was some boating experience there. These weren't all complete novices, and those who _did_ know something about boats also knew that particular sea and its penchant for suddent, violent storms.

But even with their experience and knowledge, they were still scared witless and couldn't fathom how Jesus could be in the back of the boat, sleeping, while they were battling this storm and (ostensibly) losing.

Now, I've had a teacher in the past teach that there were two conclusions that could be drawn from those facts:
a) Jesus didn't care that they were all about to die
b) Jesus wasn't concerned because He knew that they _weren't_ about to die.

The disciples chose conclusion a, when the correct conclusion was obviously b.

So, in my pride, I thought that, since I knew that Jesus _cared_ about the current storm in my life (no job), that therefore, I must automatically be concluding b - that He had it all under control and was sitting back because He knew that. But I realized that there's actually a third conclusion that the disciples could have drawn:
c) Maybe they weren't as skilled at handling boats as they thought.

All the while that I was patting myself on the back for ostensibly concluding b, I was really concluding c - that maybe I wasn't as good at engineering as I thought I was. Now while I could probably have used some humbling in that regard, I took it past where it needed to go. I'm not saying that I was bemoaning my lack of marketability.....but I was definitely beginning to lose confidence.

So....in response, I've started trying to block out those kinds of thoughts and _actually_ trust that God's got it under control. Maybe there hasn't been a huge, visible change.....but it's good to know that the third conclusion exists and that it's still not the right one.

Been too long

Well...it's been a while since I've posted. I've had several ideas for posts, I just haven't actually written them.....but now that my car keys have disappeared from my key chain and I'm stuck here with nothing better to do until VNB can get here with the spare, I figure I might as well catch you up.

Learn Something New Every Day

What I learned today:

White-Out bottles are singularly difficult to juggle.

Does that give you an idea of how boring today has been?

Alone

So, most of the people in the company that I'm temping for are away at some big meeting today. Most of the rest of the people are either in the other office (two floors down) or away elsewhere. For most of today, it's been just me and TempBoss....but an hour or so ago, he went home to work from there....so now it's just me. These people are very trusting. Fortunately someone showed me how to have the door lock behind me a few days ago.

Oh, and yesterday TempBoss asked me how much I'd make if I were to get a "real" job since they've discovered how useful it would be to have "someone like [me]" here.

My brain is slightly less fluffy today, but it's still hard to do the one very boring task someone left for me.

It's also hard knowing that ABC hates me and is showing this by showing the last episodes of Alias on Wednesday nights when I can't watch them. Bah.

The Limit as Time Approaches Infinity of Leia Temping

So I think I've discovered the limit of my ability to handle temping. It's approximately one month. It was torture to get out of bed this morning and come in, and it's been like pulling teeth to get myself to do the work that I actually have to do.

I'm pretty sure that my TempBoss just isn't going to hire anyone until I find a "real" job because he likes me so much....so it's not like there's even any hope of the work changing any time soon. My database is still growing....I'm still filing things....I'm fiddling with Excel spreadsheets and PowerPoint presentations....and my brain is slowly turning into mush.

Maybe the nice spring weather outside isn't helping....although going outside isn't what I'm craving right now....I literally begged the other night to be the scorekeeper in our card game, just so I could do some math. I don't know why, but math always settles me.

I remember a time in Baghdad when some of my army friends were literally within hours of going home when some heavy fighting broke out in their area. Not only was I pretty sure that my friends were in the thick of things on the US side (and that it would delay their return home), I was also pretty sure that I had probably interacted with (and might have known) some of the folks on the other side in my travels as well (this was a poorer part of town in which we'd given out food and water at various times). As I sat in someone's living room waiting for a meeting to start, I happened across their teenaged son's Algebra book. I opened it up and started doing Algebra. It was very calming. Math is just so......sure....and constant. I mean, sure there are times when there is more than one "right" answer, and things can get pretty crazy if you're talking hard-core math like math grad students do.....but when you're just talking about your standard Algebra, Trig, Gemoetry, Calc, DiffEq.....well....1+1 will always equal 2. That's very nice.

I don't know what that has to do with my brain being fried from temping. Maybe math is just my "happy place."

Draw your own religious parallels here. My brain is too mushy.

Cottleston, Cottleston, Cottleston pie..... (read your Winnie the Pooh and you'll know what I'm singing)

The Secret is Out

So, it's not like I was trying to keep it quiet or anything, but I was doing my standard "I'll only tell you what my major was if you ask me specifically," so that I could avoid the "wow, you must be really smart" kinds of comments and glazed-over eyes. I did that a lot in college at social gatherings (that weren't initiated by my geek friends), and a whole lot after college as a youth chaperone at my church, but I guess I've been somewhat insulated since then. It helped that I was either working at church (where it wasn't amazing anymore) or going to class (where everyone was a "rocket scientist) or staying home (where the cat really doesn't care one way or the other as long as I feed, water, and pet her and occasionally clean out her litter).

Well....now everyone at my TempOffice knows, and those that hadn't been in the lunch room when it was discussed previously are now being told by those who were, to the point that when they walk by, certain people ask the other people if they knew that I'm a) a rocket scientist, and b) that I own land on the Moon (oh, go buy your own, you know you think it's cool). It's been the primary topic of conversation for the past couple of days.

While I've always thought it was cool to be a "rocket scientist"....I also take offense at the kind of "circus freak" mentality that seems to surround us. Now, the people at my TempOffice are smart people. They play with VERY large amounts of money (and take home very large amounts of money). They do things with money and the stock market and futures and stuff like that that I couldn't even fathom. But they still look at me like I'm a freak.

Granted, part of it is that you don't expect anyone with an MS in anything to be the TempReceptionist/Executive Assistant at your office, and especially a "rocket scientist," but still......I am not an animal! :) I don't have horns or a tail or any other physical feature that makes me significantly different from other people. I have relatively normal social skills. I have relatively normal interests (yes I do.....shut up!). I just happen to also have different degrees than most other people.

But guess what? So does everyone else!

Rocket scientists are people too!

Interesting Concept

I just received an email forward from one of my friends who always forwards everything she gets to everyone she knows. Usually, I read them and delete them, but this one included an interesting concept (in addition to the standard "look what we can do" portion).

Gas prices are going up this summer. We've all heard it, we all dread it, and there's very little we can do to reduce the amount of gas we need (without paying out the wazoo in lack of convenience). So, this particular forward suggests that everyone stop buying anything affiliated with one gas brand in particular. You can continue to buy from other sellers (and thereby continue on your merry way), but if no one buys from this one company, then they will be forced to reduce their prices (theoretically). Once their prices start to drop, theoretically, the others will follow suit. We're supposed to continue with this boycott until the prices are back around $1.30.

My issues with the idea are the following:

1. It seems to choose one company as the "losing" company without any particular reason behind it. I mean, if the originator chose this oil company because of unfair practices or pollution or whatever, then it would make a little sense, but the company was chosen, seemingly at random (at least, they didn't share their reasoning).
2. While I'm not a big fan of the prices now, and while I'm sure the oil companies could take losses for several years without really feeling it, the price of a barrel of oil has almost doubled in the past year or so...the prices have done approximately the same. Gas prices have not quadrupled while oil has only doubled. They are passing on to their consumers an increase in price which is mostly proportional to the increase in their costs. So, while I don't like paying almost $3/gallon, I don't think it's "unfair," per se....I think it's capitalism....and I'm not really one to knock that.

But it's still an interesting idea. So, if you'd like to participate, then boycott all Exxon/Mobil products until gas prices reach $1.30 (or whatever is acceptable to you). This doesn't really affect me one way or the other since VNB and I have Shell gas cards which give us a discount if we buy from Shell (so we buy from them pretty exclusively)....but maybe it does you. And it's an interesting concept.

Shorn Sheep

So I did something last night that has been a long time coming. That's right, folks....I cut my hair. Well, actually, some woman in Columbia Mall cut my hair, but that's just semantics. She cut off probably a good foot prior to the actual cut/style, so I've got another long swag of hair to go into my collection. One of these days I'll actually have enough to make a thick wig, but I think it'll take a few more croppings before that could happen. She did a really nice job and was very sweet about making sure of what I wanted before doing any cutting. It ended up as a very nice slightly shorter version of the famed "Jennifer Aniston" 'do. My main comment at this time is that it's very bouncy.

And for those of you who knew the "story" behind my hair....well....that's a lesson I think I've learned (so I don't need the constant reminder anymore) and really, my hair was just in pretty bad shape. In order for it to be really healthy, I would have needed to cut 6-8 inches off of it anyway, so this really isn't that much more. And this way, the next time it grows out, it'll be all nice and healthy again! :)

Why now, you ask....well...VNB's been curious about what I'd look like with short hair....and we're finally past all wedding-related parties, so I don't need long hair anymore for a wedding up-do.

Anyway, just thought I'd share about my new 'do. So far it's been a hit. All the ladies (except one) and one guy in my TempOffice have commented positively, and VNB absolutely loves it (which is really all that matters...well, other than my own opinion, but I haven't been able to get much past "mmmm....bouncy" yet).

Hopefully it won't be too much of a distraction (to me or anyone else) on Sunday morning when I do some last minute fill-in singing.

mmm....bouncy..... :)

Coding

So when I was in like the 3rd grade, the coolest thing in the world was this little turle called "Logo." He stayed still unless you told him to move, then moved in a straight line until you told him to turn. Using simple commands, it was possible to have Logo "draw" Spirograph kinds of pictures on a computer screen. Logo was one of my first loves (after Buck Rogers, of course - he still kicks butt).

At some point in time, my parents when to one of those "resort" presentations where they give you free stuff if you'll sit through their 90-minute schpeil. One of their free gifts was an Aquarius "computer." It was basically a keyboard that you hooked up to your TV. You could type in an entire program, then say "run" and the program would run. Basically it was Logo on very weak steroids. That was cool too. I tried all of their sample programs several times over, even the one that was for "Concentric Circles" that never worked. That one was several pages of text. And that was really cool to me.

When I was in middle school, one of our art projects was to create a picture by commanding the pixels on the computer screen to change to a certain color. That was the coolest art project I ever remember doing (actually, it's the only art project I actually remember doing). Aside - Why is it that I remember all of our Home Ec. projects, but only that one art project? Anyway...

In high school, I went to a month-long science summer camp (what? it was cool!) and "learned" a semester of college-level FORTRAN during that month. I don't remember what the programs were that we wrote, but I do remember that there was a guy there with my same initials (everything coming out of the VAX machines we were working on started with a big page of your initials and last four digits of your SSN so that you'd know who's was who's) and the joy of getting a program to do what you wanted it to do.

But somehow, by the time I got into college, I knew I didn't want to code. Word processing was fine (even back in the day when there was no GUI associated with WordPerfect - I amazed my dad with my WP skills in high school). Maybe it was because my family didn't get a computer until I was away at college (and then it was a Mac - at my suggestion, but still a Mac - which wasn't exactly known for the average coder's use at that time). I didn't get my own computer until several years after I finished college. Maybe I would have been more into it had I had more access to computers as a child.

I got through all the Mathematica and Matlab stuff I had to do in college, but I cringed all the way through those assignments (and relied heavily on my friends and classmates).

So why is it that in my spare time one Christmas break, I taught myself "C?" I still haven't figured that out. I think I was just very bored at work (this was during college).

Maybe that's the key because, being very bored at work today, I'm teaching myself Visual Basic. I figure that once I'm gone, the actual Executive Assistant will need to keep using this contact database that I've developed, so I should put in nice things like search and data entry forms. So I'm figuring out how to do that. Might as well learn something useful while I'm here, huh?

I'm Flattered?

So TempBoss (who is back today, thankfully) just said, "Are you sure you don't want to be an Executive Assistant full time? You're so good!"

I think the "deer in the headlights" look that I gave back to him wigged him out a little. There are people in this world who would absolutely love this job, and more power to them - we couldn't get along without them. I may be able to do it well, but I am very certainly not one of those people.

I mean, the lunches are nice and all.....but my brain turns to mush daily......my stomach drops just thinking of it.

So, thank you to the people of the world who like doing things that I don't like to do. You keep the world running. I'm flattered that I could be counted among your ranks.....but this job is so very much not for me.....

Unless they paid me like $1,000,000/year. Then I might be able to handle the mental mush.

Bored, nothing to do...

So the guy I'm temping for told me on Monday that he was going to NY yesterday. He had to leave early to go to a dinner, but then he was going to come back to sort some files that he wanted me to make a spreadsheet of (the files were companies that he wanted sorted into three different types, then he wanted each company listed with its stock ticker symbol). Well...he didn't sort them and wasn't here yesterday and I had nothing else to do, so I started on sorting and cataloging them myself. Well....he wasn't here again today, so I finished up that project (and a few other little things that other people asked me to do)....and here I am, 25 minutes to go, and absolutely nothing left to do.

I really hope he comes back tomorrow because the only other thing I can think of is to list the stock exchange(s) each of the companies is listed on....and that would be really boring, and, I'm guessing, pretty useless.

In better news, I had an interview on Monday. That's a government job that requires clearance, so it would be 6-9 months (or more - that's just the average time) before that could possibly start. But I've also got an interview this coming Monday. It's at a place in Elkton which is like an hour and a half from my house, but it sounds like it'd be really cool work. Then I got emailed the other day by another company who wants me to come in for an interview. That would entail working in either Aberdeen or Alexandria (MD and VA, not Scotland and Egypt), which would be about an hour from my house. It would be pretty cool work too - the Aberdeen/Alexandria job would be testing products that the Army wants to procure to see how they match up to their specs and to each other. But the Elkton job would be systems engineering with aerospace applications, which would be optimal....except for the 3-hour+/day commute.

But three interviews is better than no interviews, even if the jobs aren't exactly next-door!

Anyway....18 minutes to go.....

Take THAT, Dukies!

Woohoo! Go Lady Terps! National Champs!!

Bored, nothing to do

So, my database now has over 600 entries (contact name, business name, multiple addresses, etc.), and I've done all of the other extraneous tasks that my tempBoss left for me to do. Actually, I finished them all an hour ago and now have finished all of the web-surfing I can handle for now. I'd work on some freelance writing that I'm doing, but I was working on it this morning and emailed myself the updated version, but I can't download it for some reason. I didn't really do a lot to it, so I could use the version I've got on my flash disk, but I'd rather not.

So, tempBoss is at home with a plumber at his new house (he's moved his family like six different times in the past couple of years!!). I'd just leave too except that he might come back this afternoon and, if he does, I need to tell him about an interview I've got on Monday. It's with one of those lettered agencies that resides around the greater DC area.

I'm sure it's just because it's much easier this way than it would be to badge me and get me into their facility, but I feel like it's something out of Alias since I'm meeting this guy that I've never met at a random Starbucks just after lunch to talk about a job with this particular organization.

It sounds like pretty cool work, but would involve deployments to 'hazardous' locations overseas for several months at a time every couple of years. Considering that my second home is one of those places, that's not really that big of a deal to me, except that it's not just about me anymore. VNB might have some objections to me being gone for six months at a time some place that isn't exactly considered "safe."

I told the guy who called that I'd have to discuss things with my husband first, but that I wasn't saying that it'd be out of the question. He seemed ok with that answer.

In the meantime, the folks here at tempJob really like me and my work and want me to stay on until they hire someone permanently. They're interviewing now, but it could still take a few weeks. But in the meantime, I may learn something about gold futures and investments and stuff....either that or my brain will turn into mush.

But hey....free lunch....free sodas....free chips....and not bad stuff either - yesterday it was Berttuccis! It could be worse. Now I just need to remember to ask my "handler" how much I'm getting paid for this.

I know how to submit my timesheet and when my check gets mailed from where and when it should arrive here in the mail....but not how much it'll be worth.

Me and my crack negotiating skills.

Temping, Day 2

mmmm....data entry....

Temping, Day 1

So I signed up with a temp agency last Friday. Today is the first day of my first job. I've been here for 30 minutes now and have gotten the "tour" from the poor lady who just happened to be wandering through the reception area when I came in, sat around for a few minutes while the guy I'm working for was out getting coffee, gotten the tour again from him, received five packages (and actually remembered the name of one of the people I was introduced to and was able to deliver her package to her, impressing several people with my amazing memory), checked my email, caught up on the news and all of my websites....and now I'm just waiting.....

The guy I'm working for wants me to make this database and make it like this other database that someone else already made...so I'm waiting until she's free so that she can show me her database that I can then copy and input different data into.

In the meantime, I'm listening to this old guy down the hall who likes to talk very loudly on the phone with his door open. Not quite, but just about every other word is a curse word. I seriously haven't heard this much cursing since the time I started to watch Pulp Fiction (I left after 20 minutes because I couldn't take it).

Anyway....the lady should be done soon, so I guess I'll update more later.

Later:

Dude....the company buys everyone lunch everyday! This rocks!

Heh...

Song overheard during hour 2 of my time on hold with the MVA:

"I think it's gonna be a long, long time."

(or at least that was the tag which was repeated over and over at the end of the song).

I'd laugh at the irony of that, but I've got stuff I've gotta do this afternoon.

Grumpy

Don't mind me....I'm just a little grumpy today, and with grumpiness comes sarcasm. I don't need to be reminded that "the right job will come along at the right time." In fact, comments along those lines will only compound the grumpiness.

10 Things You Can't Do With A MS in Aerospace Engineering

10. Use it to cook dinner (unless it's a very quick-cooking meal, in which case, see #2 below).
9. Sell it on e-Bay.
8. Use it as postage.
7. Use it as a musical instrument (unless you're wanting to sound like very small thunder, or do some serious "customer modifications" to it).
6. Use it to write the great American novel.
5. Call a friend with it.
4. Drive anywhere in it.
3. Wear it (unless you're really tiny or aren't very modest).
2. Make a real airplane with it.
1. Get a job. Or maybe that's just me.