Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Baby's First Pictures!

Not a great quality photo (quick digital pic of the printed sonogram which was uploaded to my computer as a .tif, saved as a 24-bit .bmp, then exported as a .jpg...it's been a long morning!), but a great pic nonetheless! That's Baby Jones at approximately 19 weeks (further along than we'd previously thought), and yes, s/he is sucking his/her thumb!

Baby was _very_ compliant for his/her pictures yesterday, both moving and staying still (at least for a while) on command.

There were waves at the camera, acrobatics, "running" motions, and yes, thumb-sucking. It was all very exciting!

In addition to the profile view shown above, we also got close-ups (at least on the screen, we only took home profiles) of the following:
- 1 multi-lobed brain
- 2 eye sockets
- 1 nose
- 2 lips
- 1 chin
- 1 spine (fully-formed)
- 1 heart (with four working chambers!)
- 1 bladder
- 2 kidneys
- 2 arms
- 2 legs
- 5 fingers on each hand

The pulse was 129 which is apparently right in the middle, so no old wives tales for us about fast or slow heart-rates meaning a particular sex. Speaking of which. We did _not_ see whether baby was a boy or a girl. VNB doesn't want to (although his resolve is wavering at the moment), and I'm ambivalent, but even if _we_ knew, we wouldn't tell anyone else. I have a horrible phobia concerning roomfuls of pink clothing. I literally get chills and look away when I pass "Libby Lou's" at the mall. So yellows, greens, reds, blues (and VNB wants purple - his school color).....just not loads of pink.

But the doc said that everything looked perfect! It certainly was amazing to see all four chambers of the heart pumping up a storm!

It's slowly starting to hit me how different life is going to be forever after this. I think that really started on the MS trip when I wasn't allowed to tote and lift like I normally do. Plus, I got to watch the two ladies each with two small kids who weren't able to help much at all due to baby duty. As that's always been my preferred role in situations like that, it's going to be different sitting on the sidelines. It's not that I won't be working (I've chased enough babies in my day to know very differently)...but I won't be working like I've worked all my life.

And while I've been ready to give up 9-5 _office_ life pretty much since the day I started it, it's...weird...for me, with my dreams of going to the Moon and being an aerospace engineer, (not to mention my degrees), to set all that aside. It's not that it isn't worth it, it's just...weird. To have had so much angst over finding a job....only to be pregnant by the time I started it! My company has already verbally said that they'll let me take as much time as I need, then work with me as much or as little as I want to afterward, so I'll be able to keep a foot in the door...but it won't be the same as if I'd worked full-time all that time.

The diapering, feeding, living with a baby doesn't worry me...but the being at home all day does a little. In one way, I can hardly wait for it! No more waking up at 4:45 in order to ride in with VNB and save oodles on gas! No more "nice" clothes every day! The ability to keep the house clean(er)! And cook! And do stuff at church when asked! To read! To have some "alone" time where I don't feel guilty about being in another room from VNB since I _like_ being with him! To be able to hang out with my friend Catnip who works nights now and never gets to see anyone! But at the same time...being home, with just me, never-ending housework, and a squalling baby almost all day, almost every day! Having people think that I just sit around and eat bon bons since I'm a "stay-at-home mom" now! Feeling trapped inside the house (especially since all of this will begin in the middle of winter!)! I've been there and done that (although minus the squalling baby) before and made it through...but it's still nervewracking coming up to yet another season of it.

Life is going to change drastically. And, unlike the waist that is completely gone now (I'm getting to the point where I pop out of my shirts, not in the bust area (well, there too), but in the belly area!), there's not even a chance of getting the old one back. And it's not that it won't be completely worth it...but it'll be different...and different is always scary. At least a little.

No comments: