Addressing Assumptions

So I recently emailed a question to "SimpleMom" Tsh Oxenreider which has generated a lot of awesome discussion on her site.  You're welcome to chime in with your thoughts here, but it'd be more useful to more people over there.  The gist of the question is "do I give a food pantry items that I wouldn't feed to my own family?"

In reading through the comments though, it amused me the assumptions people made about me (to some extent...on the very rare occasion, people were just mean).  I didn't feel the need to respond to each comment, but if anyone cares enough to have come over here to check out who this "Melissa" person is, I wanted to clear a few things up.

First off, my children are definitely _not_ "bubble" children.  We try (as the budget allows) to eat organic, but mostly I try to just cook from scratch with whole ingredients.  It didn't even occur to me when I posed the question that it would veer off (for some) into 'Melissa must be an all-organic, all fair-trade, all free-range, all hormone-free helicopter parent' kind of thing.  Right now our priorities are whole grains (except even I can't stomach whole-grain pasta most of the time), and minimization of food dyes, artificial sweeteners, MSG, and less so things like nitrites (nitrates?) and other preservatives.  After that comes a preference for organic.  Only after that would come fair trade/free range (sadly...I understand the issues there to a limited extent, we're just not quite there in our baby steps to becoming better stewards, etc.).  That's just where we are in our process.  Someday I'd love to be all of those things (except a helicopter parent), but we're far from there.

Secondly, it really amused me the number of times it was mentioned that I have clearly never experienced poverty for myself if this is my question.  That amuses me immensely because I _HAVE_ experienced poverty, not personally, but I've definitely seen it for myself, first-hand (and not even as a visitor - I lived there for over a year) - just not necessarily in America.  The poverty (not starvation, mind you, just poverty) that I've seen has been in developing countries and war-ravaged countries.  I think poverty looks VERY different here than it does in places like Iraq and Nigeria.  And that was/is a large part of my dilemma.

In Iraq, I could absolutely have given a sack of rice with no worries to a poor person.  They would have known exactly what to do with it and would have appreciated it immensely.  In America, those in poverty don't necessarily _want_ plain rice (or any other random shelf-stable ingredient).  They want Hamburger Helper and boxed rice with other stuff that can be microwaved easily.  They want pop-top cans.

We send a 5-gallon bucket of pasta, rice, peanut butter, flour, and oil to Haiti and a family can eat for a month.  I have those same ingredients in my pantry and my babysitters' mom worries that we can't afford groceries because my cupboards are "bare."

I absolutely don't understand poverty in America.  I've never truly experienced it first-hand, and what I imagine I would want were my family in that situation are NOT the things that are listed as "needs" for the crisis food pantry at my church.  Maybe because their emphasis is on homeless rather than just poor?  I don't know.

If this question had easy answers, I would have figured it out for myself!

Buckets of Hope

A few days ago, I mentioned that I'd been busy with something called "Buckets of Hope," but I've failed to mention what it is exactly and since time is quickly running out, I wanted to give you the scoop.

Basically, the "Buckets of Hope" campaign is a way for people to give food to Haitian families through the Southern Baptist Convention's North American Mission Board. They've got more info here, but basically, for about $30-35, you can feed a Haitian family for about a week.

What you do is you buy a white, 5-gal bucket with minimal branding on the outside. Then you buy:

• Two 5-lb bags of long grain enriched rice
• Two 2-lb bags of black (or red) beans (if you can't find 2-lb bags, you can get four 1-lb bags)
• Two 1-lb boxes of spaghetti
• One 5-lb sack of all-purpose (not self-rising) flour
• One 48-oz plastic bottle of cooking oil (wrapped in a 2-gal ziplock bag)
  
• One 40-oz plastic container of peanut butter
• One 20-oz cylinder of sugar (like you'd use for coffee service at work)
• $10 cash to help defray shipping costs

Once you've packed your bucket according to the directions found here, you bring it to your local participating Southern Baptist church (like mine) or your local Southern Baptist State Convention (like the BCM/D). The state convention will then ship the buckets they've collected to a warehouse in Florida, and from there, they'll all be shipped to Haiti for distribution there.

Local churches may have their own due dates for buckets, but they definitely _have_ to be at the state conventions by Monday, March 15th - that's THIS coming Monday. Sorry for the short notice.

The SBC did something similar with boxes of food that were sent to Iraq when I was there. Many thousands of Iraqis were helped by those boxes, and there were countless opportunities to share why we were feeding those in need. I don't think I can express how amazing an opportunity this is.

Could your $30 buy more food if it were sent to Haiti? Well, maybe, depending on scarcity. Would it be a LOT less work for you to just donate $30 to Compassion or World Vision or Samaritan's Purse or the Red Cross? Yes. But taking the time to fill a bucket with food that will be sent to a specific family that is in dire straits? It makes it personal and tangible for you.

Some people say that donation drives like this aren't as "effective" as monetary donations. And if you're merely looking at the stuff that can be purchased with the same amount of money locally (where the shipping costs are minimal and you're more likely to get something that the locals actually use), then they're right.

But this sort of thing isn't just about the people that are being helped. It's also about the people who are helping. Shaun Groves likes to say that Compassion not only releases children from poverty, but they also release Americans (and others) from their wealth.

By giving each of us a tangible way to help, it brings the tragedy closer to us. It's almost too easy to give money. It goes right from the bank to the organization or from the credit card to the organization. Sometimes you have to fiddle a little with your budget to make things work, but for the most part, you never even miss the money.

But _stuff_...._stuff_ is real. Stuff is tangible. Stuff awakens the imagination.

I pray that you will be released from a little of your wealth by filling at least one "Bucket of Hope" today!

Freedom

(Hey Company Girls! Our virtual coffee time these last few weeks has been taken over by info about the Help Haiti Live concert. I hope that didn't offend you, but I couldn't think of a better way to get the info out to a lot of people than to bring you, my Company Girls along! Now that the concert's over, I'll remind you of the auctions that are still on-going here and mention the group of bloggers that are in Kenya with Compassion right now, but for the most part, we'll be getting back to our "regularly-scheduled programming" now.)

So, I wouldn't say necessarily that I've had a "homemaking epiphany" lately, because it's something I've heard from lots of sources for a long time now, but I guess I recently just started actually implementing it in my life. That non-epiphany is that I don't have to do everything absolutely to completion, nor do I have to do it perfectly. And it's been amazing how freeing that's been for me.

To implement this non-epiphany, each day, I make a list of things that need to be done. Some of them have to be done today (meals, any planned outings for the day, any errands that need to be run, daily cleaning regimens, etc.), some of them need to be done soon (laundry, tasks that have upcoming due dates, etc.), and some of them just need to be done sometime (deep cleaning something, getting something ready to be put away for a long time, etc.). By spelling out the necessaries like breakfast, lunch, and dinner, I get lots of things to cross off my list (and I also have a better understanding myself of what I actually do all day)! And by simply rejoicing that I got _some_ stuff crossed off the list each day (and not beating myself up because I didn't get _EVERYTHING_ crossed off), it ends up being simply a reminder of my successes rather than an onerous list of onerous tasks that have to get done.

Sometimes things get copied from yesterday's list to today's list for weeks. And that's ok. Eventually I get tired of rewriting them and actually _do_ them. Sometimes I break up a task into sub-tasks just so that I can cross more stuff off the list! (Sometimes I do it because _part_ of the job got done, but not ALL of it and I want to celebrate that too!) Frequently I add things to the list after-the-fact, just so I can cross them off (and celebrate at the end of the day how much I actually did)!

The most amazing thing I've seen happen through it is that the cleaning load has started to get easier each day. Since I write down each room in my (small) house each day and mostly manage to spend a few minutes in each (some would call this "minimum maintenance," but by writing down each room individually rather than grouping it all together, I can cross stuff off the list without feeling guilty that I didn't get to them all), it takes less and less each day to _keep_ them clean.

Now, I'm definitely _NOT_ a "schedule" person (i.e., laundry on Monday, scrub floors on Tuesday, etc.), and I definitely _AM_ someone who gets a great deal of joy from recognizing my accomplishments by marking them off a list, so this works great for me. Maybe you'll do better with something else. But this has worked so far for me in my current life stage. And it's been wildly freeing for me, not to mention good for our house. It's still not "magazine clean" or even "company clean" most of the time, but it's better (and certainly easier and quicker to get to "company clean"). And that makes me happy too.

Help Haiti Live - Again, Some More!

So this weekend is the Help Haiti Live concert! Due to circumstances beyond anyone's control, the LA show was canceled, but the Nashville show is on (and possibly sold out!) and you can still watch it live (for free!) at HelpHaitiLive.com on Saturday, February 27th at 7:30 PM (Central - that's 8:30 PM in MD). You can see the line-up here, or you can look at my last blog post about it here. Since that post though, there have been a few additions to the Nashville line-up - specifically NeedToBreathe will be there (since they won't be playing in LA) and so will Jon Foreman of Switchfoot!

They've also added a new "auctions" page to the website. Starting yesterday (Wednesday), they are auctioning off the following:

• Epiphone Performer Acoustic Guitar (to be autographed by the performers at the HelpHaitiLive event) - MSRP: $832; Current bid: $200 (+$35 shipping)
• Two passes to watch a live taping of Hannah Montana starring Miley Cyrus - Current bid: $250
• And there have been rumors of other auction items that are still pending, so keep checking back!
  

100% of net proceeds will go to Compassion, International's Haiti disaster relief fund.

Help Haiti Live!

Here's a new way for you to help out Compassion, International's work in Haiti - most of you from the comfort of your home, fairly inexpensively, and while enjoying some awesome artists!

HelpHaitiLive is a concert to benefit Compassion (sponsored by lots of folks, but especially Gaylord Entertainment). It will take place in Nashville at the Ryman and LA at the Wiltern Theater on Saturday, February 27th at 7:30 PM (CST and PST, respectively). Ticket prices range from $25-75 for seeing it in person.

But, Leia, I don't live in Nashville or LA and you said I could watch it "from the comfort of [my] own home!" That's true - because it's also going to be streamed live online from each location and for $10 you can watch!

All of the money goes to Compassion's Disaster Relief Fund. All of the services (both technical and musical) have been donated.

Who did you say would be performing, Leia? Well, I didn't yet, but this is the line up by venue:
Nasvhille/Ryman - Hosted by Big Kenny, performances by Alison Krauss & Union Station (featuring Jerry Douglas), Jars of Clay, Mat Kearney, Dave Barnes, Matt Wertz, and Brandon Heath
LA/Wiltern - Message from pastor Francis Chan, performances by Amy Grant, Leann Rimes, Rebecca St. James, NEEDTOBREATHE, and a special guest headliner

(And kudos to Alison Krauss, et al, since they were the only artist/group who actually has this concert posted on their website!)

Edited to add: Due to circumstances beyond anyone's control, the LA show has been canceled. The Nashville show is still very much ON! Tickets are rapidly selling out! Get yours now or watch online.

Help Haiti With Compassion

If you've been listening to Christian radio at all today, then you already know that today is the day that everyone is banding together to "Help Haiti with Compassion" (as in, Compassion, International). Some folks have done crazy things to raise money in order to donate it all today. Some people "just" gave their hard-earned cash.

Whatever your case may be, if you're still looking for ways to help out in Haiti, donate here.

MOPS Small Group Haiti Project

I've put off writing about this project because other than that we want to, we don't have any definite plans right now. But you can still be praying for our efforts, so here's my current hope.

1) We want to do what will be most effective. If that's collecting money, then we'll collect money. If that's collecting stuff, then we'll collect stuff. But while they may be able to purchase more stuff locally with money than we could collect and pay to ship (plus that would help rebuild the local economy and they could get what they really want rather than the random stuff we'd send), it's (quite honestly) not just about the people we'll be helping. It's also about changing the people who will be giving. And sometimes money is just too easy. So I guess my hope is that the "most effective" thing will be a combination of both stuff and money. But the bottom line is that I hope we will be wise enough find the most effective means of both helping the people of Haiti and changing our own attitudes and priorities.

2) We want to partner with an affected Compassion, International Child Survival Program Center. I've only recently become aware of the CSP, but for a bunch of mothers of preschoolers, I can't imagine a better or more suitable project than helping out a bunch of other mothers (or mothers-to-be) of preschoolers.

3) Our church is also attempting to partner with an affected Haitian church, so it is my personal hope that our CSP center will be close to our partner church so that any mission trips can have the dual purpose of visiting both. I would especially love it if our entire family (kids included) were able to come, but even if the kids "have" to stay with the grandparents for a few days, I'd love for VNB to come.

So how can you help? Well, right now, just pray for wisdom (and patience to wait until the situation has been effectively assessed). But eventually I'll update you and let you know what the _actual_ project ends up being and what you can actually do!