Addressing Assumptions

So I recently emailed a question to "SimpleMom" Tsh Oxenreider which has generated a lot of awesome discussion on her site.  You're welcome to chime in with your thoughts here, but it'd be more useful to more people over there.  The gist of the question is "do I give a food pantry items that I wouldn't feed to my own family?"

In reading through the comments though, it amused me the assumptions people made about me (to some extent...on the very rare occasion, people were just mean).  I didn't feel the need to respond to each comment, but if anyone cares enough to have come over here to check out who this "Melissa" person is, I wanted to clear a few things up.

First off, my children are definitely _not_ "bubble" children.  We try (as the budget allows) to eat organic, but mostly I try to just cook from scratch with whole ingredients.  It didn't even occur to me when I posed the question that it would veer off (for some) into 'Melissa must be an all-organic, all fair-trade, all free-range, all hormone-free helicopter parent' kind of thing.  Right now our priorities are whole grains (except even I can't stomach whole-grain pasta most of the time), and minimization of food dyes, artificial sweeteners, MSG, and less so things like nitrites (nitrates?) and other preservatives.  After that comes a preference for organic.  Only after that would come fair trade/free range (sadly...I understand the issues there to a limited extent, we're just not quite there in our baby steps to becoming better stewards, etc.).  That's just where we are in our process.  Someday I'd love to be all of those things (except a helicopter parent), but we're far from there.

Secondly, it really amused me the number of times it was mentioned that I have clearly never experienced poverty for myself if this is my question.  That amuses me immensely because I _HAVE_ experienced poverty, not personally, but I've definitely seen it for myself, first-hand (and not even as a visitor - I lived there for over a year) - just not necessarily in America.  The poverty (not starvation, mind you, just poverty) that I've seen has been in developing countries and war-ravaged countries.  I think poverty looks VERY different here than it does in places like Iraq and Nigeria.  And that was/is a large part of my dilemma.

In Iraq, I could absolutely have given a sack of rice with no worries to a poor person.  They would have known exactly what to do with it and would have appreciated it immensely.  In America, those in poverty don't necessarily _want_ plain rice (or any other random shelf-stable ingredient).  They want Hamburger Helper and boxed rice with other stuff that can be microwaved easily.  They want pop-top cans.

We send a 5-gallon bucket of pasta, rice, peanut butter, flour, and oil to Haiti and a family can eat for a month.  I have those same ingredients in my pantry and my babysitters' mom worries that we can't afford groceries because my cupboards are "bare."

I absolutely don't understand poverty in America.  I've never truly experienced it first-hand, and what I imagine I would want were my family in that situation are NOT the things that are listed as "needs" for the crisis food pantry at my church.  Maybe because their emphasis is on homeless rather than just poor?  I don't know.

If this question had easy answers, I would have figured it out for myself!

Day 2

I voted.  I feel like that's an obligatory statement today.  But I did.

I also just had the best Greek salad I've ever had for lunch.  It was a pre-packaged one I bought at the cafeteria.  I've bought them before and have no idea what was so spectacular about this one, but it was G-O-O-D, GOOD!

Now you know (and knowing is half the battle).

(The other half probably includes actually _doing_ something.)

Feeling Obligated to Post

So I haven't posted much in a while.  It wasn't intentional, life's just happened.  A lot.  And I haven't felt like talking about it necessarily.  Nothing bad, just too busy to ponder deep ponderings or come up with witty things to say.

But something prompted me to look at my blog stats today, which made me notice that there are actually real people looking at my blog occasionally and not just the folks who click "next blog" on the top.  Many of them are still searching for Unisom/B6 anti-morning sickness and finding me (which considering I wrote all of ONE post about that, still surprises me - ladies, go see your OB/midwife, because "Darn it, Jim, I'm a rocket scientist, not a doctor!"), but occasionally real people are clicking through from my comments on Stuff Christians Like or just stopping by on their own.

So I thought maybe I should post something.  Especially considering that NaBloPoMo is coming up and I usually at least attempt to participate in that.  So maybe I should gear up or something.  Consider this some linguistic stretching.

Oh, and Jones baby #3 is due on March 24th!

Famous! That's me!

So I think I've talked about our love for Phil Vischer's new venture JellyTelly.com and its spin-off "What's in the Bible? With Buck Denver."

We love them.  A lot.  We haven't _quite_ camped out at the local bookstore to make sure we get ours on its release date, but we're really not far from it.

Well, a few weeks ago, they were asking for people to guest post on their blog.  I offered.  Then I never replied when their blog lady Melanie emailed me with possible dates.

Then I MET PHIL VISCHER at the MOPS convention in Orlando!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Don't believe me?

Ta-da!

(Now I have the "complete set" as I got a pic with Mike Nawrocki (Larry the Cucumber) at last year's MOPS convention)

Don't believe that he's Bob the Tomato?

Well he is.

Anyway, so after MOPS convention (at which I showed up to his talk 30 minutes early...because I'm a "bit" of a fan), I emailed Melanie again and asked if I could still write a guest blog.

She said, "Sure!  Have it to me by Monday!"

And here it is!

Date Night

So VNB's been working long, crazy hours for what seems like forever.  It doesn't help that in between weeks of long, crazy hours, he's had opportunities to go backpacking with friends, either leaving me and the kids at home, or leaving us back at the campground with other friends and kids.  But his location changed computer systems a few weeks ago and he needed to prep for that, then deal with the aftermath.  And about the time that was wrapping up, things started ramping up for their bi-annual inventory which is next weekend.

He's been great about being sure to be home if I needed to go someplace and has always made it home in time to say goodnight to the kids (even if sometimes that involved bringing a laptop home too) and I love and respect that he works so hard to support our family and wants to make sure that the job is done and done correctly...but it's been lonely around here sometimes.

So we did something a little unusual last night - we skipped out on small group (we usually host it!) and went to a friend's birthday dinner at a ritzy restaurant in Baltimore.

Now, I'm not a big clotheshorse and tend to the "practical" side when it comes to clothing purchases, so I pretty much have "home" clothes, "work" clothes, and "church" dresses.  I've got a couple of dresses that (mostly due to two kids and their aftermath on my hips) are a _little_ too short for church now, but really nothing that screams "Friday night out at trendy restaurant in Baltimore."  And I'd worn one of my two "not-quite-for-church" dresses on our last night out without the kids (with his aunt and uncle) a few months back, so I opted for just a work shirt, some jeans, fancy sandals (in my mind anyway), and makeup.

VNB was a little disappointed that I didn't wear a dress when I picked him up from work to go to the restaurant, but he still thought I looked nice.  I was more concerned about being over-dressed than under-dressed, personally, so we went on to the restaurant.  We were the first of our group to get there and it was clear that I would not have been over-dressed in one of my "not-quite-for-church" dresses.

I didn't really care one way or the other, but VNB was worried that I'd feel under-dressed and we had time, so he sent me shopping.  The hostess knew of a place a couple of blocks away that sold clothes, so I started walking on my shopping adventure, passing another couple bound for the party on the way.  The wife came shopping with me while the husband went on to the restaurant to keep VNB company.

I had a suspicion from a) the name of the store and b) the fact that it was right on the harbor in Baltimore that it would be pricier than my normal shopping venues, but it completely blew my mind when we went in and the cheapest thing we could find (on the CLEARANCE rack) was like $60.  And U-G-L-Y!  So my friend and I decided that I'd try on a few of the uber-expensive things, and text VNB a pic (and price tag!).

I was assured by everyone present that the $138 "dress" I tried on looked great on me (I was _NOT_ wearing the proper undergarments for that dress and after two babies...well....I need some support).  But VNB said it was worth the price tag (!!!!!! this from the man who wants us to cut back on our fast food intake so that we can save every penny for a new house).  The sales girl thought the store next door might have supportive undergarments, so we went there prior to purchasing anything.

I was thinking "Urban Outfitters" when she said "Urban Chic" is right next door.  So I was pleasantly surprised when I found a dress in there that was shaped so that I didn't need to purchased new undergarments and in a color that I liked.  Then I looked at the price tag.

$300!!!!!!

I'm not kidding.

So we looked at a couple of other dresses and shirts there.  $250.  $275.  Occasionally we'd find something for _ONLY_ $220.

And it's not like these were woven with gold fibers or were jewel-encrusted or anything.  They were just cotton fabric.  And not even especially high-quality!  And this is normal spending for some people!  Crazy.

But then I saw what I thought was a shirt.  It was "only" $70 (had to have been the cheapest non-accessory in the entire store - which had a baby line too, btw!), so I went to try it on.  Turns out it was a slinky dress that allowed me to continue wearing my undergarments and fit me like a glove.  So I bought it, without even taking it off.  The cashier stuffed my clothes into the world's tiniest bag, and then we were off to CVS.

My initial plan was to spend a few minutes in their bathroom shaving (after purchasing the necessary items), but we gave up on that idea in favor of pantyhose (control top for the slinky dress!!), and then gave up on that idea in favor of fancy ($8) flip-flops.

We then made our way back to the restaurant (everyone was there by then) and were immediately escorted to our table (which was only just then available) and proceeded to have an awesome time with friends.  And even got home in time to get the babysitter home before her driving curfew!

And it was great to get to spend time with my husband who wanted to spoil me a little.  We both needed the break, and we needed the time together.

But it was quite the adventure!  And now I have a new dress!

Guest Post

Today we're part of something big here at "Common Sense."  Jon Acuff of StuffChristiansLike.net is doing one of his (in)famous "scorecard" posts, but is letting lots of us, his readers, participate by posting individual scorecard items on our sites.  Click through to SCL to see the whole scorecard.  The key will be posted tomorrow on his site.

So, without further ado...

The “Is that contestant on American Idol a Christian? Scorecard”

33. The first time they see the huge crowds that they perform in front of they mention, “Imagine if we did a love offering in here?” = + 3 points 


To add up your score with over a 130 other ideas on this scorecard, visit stuffchristianslike.net.

And to buy his new book, click here (note, I'm now an Amazon Affiliate, so I'll get like $0.02 out of the deal too).

Church "Friends"

Because of may factors all coming together recently, I've come to a realization: most "church friends" are really a lot more like co-workers than they actually are friends.

Now, before I get to far into this, I want whatever non-church-going friends I have (that actually read this) to understand that I'm not so much downing the church as I am just pointing out the nature of the beast (if you will). So don't add this as another "black mark" against the church, please! :) Instead see this as an introspective on how I, personally, need to be better. Yes, it applies to much of the universal church too, but mostly it applies to me.

But back to my point. See, you have no (or little) choice about who your co-workers are going to be. But whether or not you would have been BFFs in high school, you're still expected to act "professionally" around and to them. Yes, your co-workers can be a decision point for whether or not you'll take or stay in a certain job, but unless you're the one doing the hiring, you have little say in who else works there.

Similarly, you can pick a church with people in it that you get along with and enjoy (maybe they're all in a similar life stage as you), and you can choose to leave a church if you don't get along with the people there...but really, you have no say over who is admitted into the community of people who meet in your particular church building. It's not like it's acceptable for you to stand at the door of your Sunday School class and ask for the secret handshake, kicking out anyone who doesn't know it. In fact, not only do you not have any control over who comes, but you're also expected to "love" everyone who shows up.

So how does this work itself out in the day-to-day operations of a group of people attending the same church? Well, a group is thrown together for some purpose (let's call it a committee that is supposed to administer a certain ministry or activity within the church). Now, this group will have _something_ in common (other than just attending the same church), namely they all (theoretically) have some desire to see the ministry/activity succeed. Beyond that, however, they may have nothing at all in common, especially when talking about personalities. (Thinking back to the co-workers analogy, your project team all works at the same company on the same team, but that doesn't mean that your personalities are well suited for actual friendship.)

So even though your personalities may not go well together (or may even conflict greatly), you're expected to work together towards this purpose. So just like in your office you might put on a mask of "professionalism" prior to working with these other people, in church, you'd put on the mask of "love" for everyone. You put up with them at the meeting and say hello to them if they see you at the grocery store, and when you talk to them it's only about the "work" that you do together (relating to whatever ministries you're both a part of), but you don't know (or maybe even really care) what's going on with them beyond how they get their job done as it relates to you. Maybe you know the latest news in their life through Facebook or the grapevine, but you don't really know _them_.

Do we do this on purpose? I don't think we do. I think we're just too busy to take the time to get to know people in general, and have gotten into bad habits of assuming friendship where there really isn't any.

Maybe a more apt analogy is that a church is like a family (go figure). You have no choice over who comes into it, no ability to kick people out of it, and are expected to maintain a certain level of decorum around those with whom you interact. Some families are more "functional" than others.

So how do we (I) change this? I think it has a lot to do with the follow-up. In pretty much any ministry in a church, we take the time to share "prayer requests." One of the sweetest things anyone ever did for me was call me up after a doctor's appointment they knew I'd been worried about to see how things went and if there was any way they could help. That particular person, even though she had no ministerial reason to follow up with me on that thing is someone that I know actually cares about _me_ and isn't just putting up with me.

It think it also has to do with learning to be a better conversationalist. Instead of always resorting to the easy prey of common job functions, we (I) should have in our proverbial back pockets questions about something they mentioned the last time you saw them (maybe one of those prayer requests). I know that I, for one, am TERRIBLE with small talk. It terrifies me to the point that I'll just sit there and say nothing rather than try to think up something to say to someone. Apparently that's intimidating. But if someone can get me talking, it's hard to shut me up. Occasionally I might even be funny or insightful. I wonder if, in this age of Facebook, Twitter, and texting, we have lost the ability to have normal conversations? Or maybe it's just me sucking at it and assuming that everyone else does too. I don't know. Like I said, this is introspective.

I also think that we need to stop pretending like everyone is actually friends with everyone else. Co-workers with the same goal? Sure. Friends? No. We can be on the same committee and not go to each others' birthday parties without it being a big "thing." It's ok for people to have circles of friends that do not include me (or you). And I'm not forming a clique if I want to go camping with a group that's not all-inclusive of the whole church.

But having said that, it's also not ok to ONLY ever do stuff with that one group of people to the exclusion of all others. Sure, you might be closest with a small group of folks (that's natural), but you might be missing out on a lot of wisdom and fun by not ever talking to anyone else.

I think this works both ways though. There's a great movement within the church for "authenticity." Usually this involves admitting that you curse or drink or something. I think what this should really mean is that when someone asks you in the hallway how you are, you actually stop and give them an honest answer. I'll bet you money that the next time you ask that same person how they are, they'll be honest with you as well. I'm not talking about over-sharing ("well, little Timmy's got this boil on his hiney that we can't seem to get to go away..."), I'm talking about giving something more than just "fine how are you?" as you race past each other.

I'm also talking about actually paying attention when someone is speaking to you. I know I find my eyes wandering when speaking to folks. And usually when my eyes wander, my brain isn't too far behind. And if my mind's wandering when I'm talking to someone, then I have no idea what they're saying and have been far more rude than if I'd just walked on by without saying anything at all.

Anyway....this is long and rambly. Think about the people with whom you interact (especially in a "church" setting). Think about how you actually treat them. Then try to change so that you're actually friends instead of just co-workers. Or find something you can learn from them rather than just putting up with them like you do "crazy uncle Bob." If you feel so led, share about an experience (for good or bad) in the comments.

Seeing the Miraculous

So today, our MOPS group packed our buckets. Each discussion group filled their own as I read aloud a prayer I'd written, calling out each food item as it was to be packed. In one of the sections of the prayer, I asked that the food in the buckets would be multiplied (thinking that, like the widow, it would last the Haitian family until they could provide for themselves).

I'd brought a fifth bucket with me. One that was only about half-filled that VNB's office had put together (they had completed one bucket, but hadn't quite made it with the second). I brought it (and the other "extra" stuff that we had) in order to fill in gaps where we could (worked well because one mom brought ziti instead of spaghetti) and just in case someone brought more than was needed for their bucket.

In a couple of cases, someone mentioned that they had brought something, so I directed them toward the table with extra stuff....but for the most part, every time I glanced over at the table, there was another of something. Usually it was the sugar. I'd lost track of one canister amidst our various buckets (family, small group, Sunday School class, MOPS, Ferguson, etc.) which magically re-appeared today. But as the morning progressed, there was another canister of sugar. I knew it wasn't one of mine because it was a different brand. Then, when time came to pack up, there wasn't just one of that brand, there were two!

And then when I'd collected everything and brought it out to the car, someone found more rice.

The food was literally multiplying.

I know I asked for that to happen...but wow...

Riches

Right now, several bloggers are in Kenya checking out Compassion, International's work there. I think I already posted about it. Yep. Hopefully you've been reading along on their posts.

If you haven't, here are two recent ones telling the story of meeting Eliud.

Brad Ruggles: A Father to the Fatherless
Shaun Groves: Sight for the Blind

Are you rich?

I know that I am.

Freedom

(Hey Company Girls! Our virtual coffee time these last few weeks has been taken over by info about the Help Haiti Live concert. I hope that didn't offend you, but I couldn't think of a better way to get the info out to a lot of people than to bring you, my Company Girls along! Now that the concert's over, I'll remind you of the auctions that are still on-going here and mention the group of bloggers that are in Kenya with Compassion right now, but for the most part, we'll be getting back to our "regularly-scheduled programming" now.)

So, I wouldn't say necessarily that I've had a "homemaking epiphany" lately, because it's something I've heard from lots of sources for a long time now, but I guess I recently just started actually implementing it in my life. That non-epiphany is that I don't have to do everything absolutely to completion, nor do I have to do it perfectly. And it's been amazing how freeing that's been for me.

To implement this non-epiphany, each day, I make a list of things that need to be done. Some of them have to be done today (meals, any planned outings for the day, any errands that need to be run, daily cleaning regimens, etc.), some of them need to be done soon (laundry, tasks that have upcoming due dates, etc.), and some of them just need to be done sometime (deep cleaning something, getting something ready to be put away for a long time, etc.). By spelling out the necessaries like breakfast, lunch, and dinner, I get lots of things to cross off my list (and I also have a better understanding myself of what I actually do all day)! And by simply rejoicing that I got _some_ stuff crossed off the list each day (and not beating myself up because I didn't get _EVERYTHING_ crossed off), it ends up being simply a reminder of my successes rather than an onerous list of onerous tasks that have to get done.

Sometimes things get copied from yesterday's list to today's list for weeks. And that's ok. Eventually I get tired of rewriting them and actually _do_ them. Sometimes I break up a task into sub-tasks just so that I can cross more stuff off the list! (Sometimes I do it because _part_ of the job got done, but not ALL of it and I want to celebrate that too!) Frequently I add things to the list after-the-fact, just so I can cross them off (and celebrate at the end of the day how much I actually did)!

The most amazing thing I've seen happen through it is that the cleaning load has started to get easier each day. Since I write down each room in my (small) house each day and mostly manage to spend a few minutes in each (some would call this "minimum maintenance," but by writing down each room individually rather than grouping it all together, I can cross stuff off the list without feeling guilty that I didn't get to them all), it takes less and less each day to _keep_ them clean.

Now, I'm definitely _NOT_ a "schedule" person (i.e., laundry on Monday, scrub floors on Tuesday, etc.), and I definitely _AM_ someone who gets a great deal of joy from recognizing my accomplishments by marking them off a list, so this works great for me. Maybe you'll do better with something else. But this has worked so far for me in my current life stage. And it's been wildly freeing for me, not to mention good for our house. It's still not "magazine clean" or even "company clean" most of the time, but it's better (and certainly easier and quicker to get to "company clean"). And that makes me happy too.

What's in the Bible?

So really, this blog isn't going to stop talking about my kids and life...it's just been crazy these past few weeks given the Haiti earthquake with stuff going on. The kids are good. Joanna's got 12 teeth (all 8 in the front and the first molars, skipping the canines). AJ's attempting to forgo his naps (his mama will not be foiled, however - there _WILL_ be quiet time, whether he sleeps or not!). Work is good. Life is good.

So instead of talking about that stuff in detail, I'm gonna tell you about a cool new offering from Phil Vischer, co-creater of VeggieTales and creator of JellyTelly - two of my favorite Biblically-based children's programing. It's called "What's in the Bible?" and features the characters and some of the content from JellyTelly.

Back in the day, Southern Baptists had several different "teaching" times, each focused on different things. Sunday School was focused on teaching the stories and facts of the Bible. GAs/RAs/Mission Friends/Brotherhood/WMU were focused on missions and missionaries. And "School of Disciples" or "Discipleship Training" was focused on how all the stories of the Bible fit together and other things like church history. Discipleship training as a class went the way of the dodo (at least in my church) when I was in late elementary school, so nowadays we have LOTS of folks who know some Bible stories, but have no idea how they all fit together and intertwine.

Well, if VeggieTales is like Sunday School, What's in the Bible is like Discipleship Training. And if the content is anywhere near as good as what's on JellyTelly, it's gonna be great!

In any case, the first two DVDs came out in stores today, so if you're related to me and/or my kids and just happen to want to pick one up (for them or yourself), I'd be all for it! ;p Even if you're _not_ related to my kids, you're still welcome to pick then up for yourself and maybe your kids too! Don't worry, it's not gonna make you crazy like Elmo does me.

Speaking Math

So, I'm not saying that I haven't been distracted by other things (like this and this (more to come on this later) and a meeting and chatting with my office mate and others), but part of me is wildly proud that I've made progress at work today and part of me is devastated by how small the progress was.

I'm doing a project with some people that do things (that's about the extent of my knowledge of what they do...seriously...this isn't me keeping top secret stuff from you, this is me being oblivious). On orders from a co-worker, I built a model for them (this is what I do at work - build models that exist wholly within my computer, my head, and sometimes my white board or some scratch paper. Either that or analyze things. Yes, this _is_ rocket science). But in reading the papers about the system that I modeled, I came across this other way of modeling things that I had some (albeit limited) experience with a few years back. So I started delving into that way of modeling things so that I could better understand the papers about the system.

But while I understood the text of the papers about the other way of modeling things, they would occasionally throw in a section using set theory. Set theory, my friends, is definitely _NOT_ rocket science. And by that I mean that I know almost nothing about it. I know math. I know basic physics, dynamics, statics, orbital mechanics, etc. I don't know jack about set theory. So I've spent the last several days at work trying to work through what amounts to half a page in one chapter of a book about this other way of modeling things.

My progress today? Most of two paragraphs. Two short paragraphs. And that was with the help of my office mate and his mathematician friends.

But I understand it. For reals. I _grok_ what those things mean. Transitive closure? BAM - the way to make something that's NOT transitive into something that is! Silly little symbol that I can't find anywhere other than this book that "denotes the restriction of f to B?" BAM.....ok....I've got it, but I really don't feel like explaining it to y'all. So just trust me.

Only two paragraphs left in this little half-page ("Preliminaries") section. But they start talking about alphabets and "words over" an alphabet. So I think I'll go home for the night and come back to it tomorrow.

It's been a long time since I've had to really learn something absolutely new to me. I don't remember it hurting this much. I think that makes me old.

Flowers or Food?

So five years ago tomorrow, I had my first real conversation with a certain "Very Nice Boy." About five months after that conversation, the "Very Nice Boy" became my "Very Nice Betrothed." And four years ago today, my "Very Nice Betrothed" became my "Very Nice Beloved." (That would be "VNB" otherwise known as "my husband" for those of you who are new here. I think I'm "done" with "quotes" now. "Maybe.")

I didn't look to see what the traditional gift was (knowing that we'd already missed our favorite year - year 3 - leather ;p ), but now that I have, it looks like we did pretty well in terms of the "traditional" gift (ok, really done with quotes now. "Maybe.") - flowers or food.

Our main gift was going skiing last weekend. That doesn't really fit at all, but it sure was a whole lot of fun! The cabin where we stayed had a Galaga arcade game! I ended up with the pitiful high score of our group - 52k. And skiing is AWESOME right after a blizzard! Well, assuming that you can get out of your cabin and to the ski place. I haven't been in like 7 years, but I did what I don't think I've ever managed before - a complete skiing trip without a single fall! I didn't even bite it coming off of the lifts which are usually my worst times! It was a lot of fun, although the resort where we skied (that doesn't look like it's spelled right - skiied? Spell check doesn't like that one...anyway...) apparently didn't have any really _steep_ mountains, so they increased difficulty by adding in bumps. I'm not a fan of bumps. I like to "Go that way, really fast. If something gets in your way, turn." (Name that awesome '80s movie!) But it was still a lot of fun!

But _today_ we had the babysitter come even though both of our offices were closed for the day and went to the house of some friends to eat lunch (homemade pizza) and watch a movie (Jakob the Liar - not quite the uplifting fun movie that we maybe should have picked for our anniversary, but it was still a good movie). While we were there, I got a call from a florist who was supposed to deliver flowers to my office today, but couldn't since we were closed. So she called my office number, got my voicemail which has my cell phone number on it, and called my cell phone - ruining the surprise, but letting me know that VNB had been thinking of me and tried to send flowers to my office on our anniversary.

We went from there to the Cheesecake Factory where we were too full still from pizza to really order much, but we got some appetizers that we shared and took some cheesecake home. We would have taken more time, but our babysitter's mom wanted her home before it got too dark and the roads got icy.

So food, check. Flowers, check. We're good for another year.

(And in all seriousness, it's been a good year. Life is far from perfect, but every day shows me more how VNB and I are perfect for each other. Like God knew what He was doing or something. Go figure!)

From the Mixed-up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler

So in the midst of "Snowpocalypse 3.0" (i.e., the third blizzard in the DC area this winter - we've surpassed the old record for snow totals and we're still in the middle of this storm with another one looming early next week!), I wanted to share a couple of quotes I noticed for the first time a few days ago as I re-read a favorite book from my childhood - E.L. Konigsburg's "From the Mixed-up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler."

"Happiness is excitement that has found a settling down place, but there is always a little corner that keeps flapping around."

and

"I think you should learn, of course, and some days you must learn a great deal. But you should also have days when you allow what is already in you to swell up inside of you until it touches everything. And you can feel it inside you. If you never take time out to let that happen, then you just accumulate facts, and they begin to rattle around inside of you. You can make noise with them, but never really feel anything with them. It's hollow."

I've always felt sorry for folks who shun good children's literature, music, and movies. There is a whole lot of very simple, but very profound, wisdom packed into those media. Granted, it takes some effort to wade through the crap that's also out there, but find the good stuff. It's worth it. Even (maybe especially) as an adult.

Called Out

So until just recently, my dad has been a minister of music (and sometimes youth). Sometimes he was full-time (most of my childhood, but not since my senior year in high school), sometimes bi-vocational, but always on a church staff. Still, he's not so much the type to talk about his kids from the pulpit, using something we said or did as an object lesson for the congregation.

So it was a new experience for me yesterday morning when our Senior Pastor called me out from the pulpit! I didn't even realize what was going on at first (even though I really was actually paying attention right then)! I was sitting there, thinking how funny it was that he was talking about what my email signature has said for just about forever (or, you know, 5-6 years): "The grass is always greenest right next to the puddle of raw sewage."

I made that up one day while driving through a poor part of Baghdad on a cold, dreary, November day. The houses were all adobe-colored, the sky was gray...and the only color I saw anywhere was this tall tuft of bright green grass growing next to a drainage ditch. In that part of town, there is no underground sewage system, so every house just has a ditch running from their "bathroom" to the ditches along the roads. And that was the only spot where grass took root and was growing.

Anyway, that gave me a good chuckle, so I put it after my name on all of my emails and it's been there ever since. I don't know that I've emailed the pastor in months, but that's obviously left an impression on him...so yesterday when he was preaching about finding joy, he mentioned that "the grass your neighbor is standing on is like that because..." then he trailed off and started staring right at me.

After a moment of discomfort (as I wondered, "Is he really talking about me? Is he really staring at me? Is he looking at something/someone else? What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow? (ok, not really on that last one)), he then said that there was someone in the church who ends her every communication with that, then said, "Melissa, you want to fill them in?" At which point, VNB roared with laughter, as did the few others who have received emails from me and knew exactly what he was talking about.

So I yelled out, "it's right next to a puddle of raw sewage!" He repeated me for amplification purposes, the congregation tittered, and then he moved on with his sermon.

It was definitely a new experience for me!

MOPS Small Group Haiti Project

I've put off writing about this project because other than that we want to, we don't have any definite plans right now. But you can still be praying for our efforts, so here's my current hope.

1) We want to do what will be most effective. If that's collecting money, then we'll collect money. If that's collecting stuff, then we'll collect stuff. But while they may be able to purchase more stuff locally with money than we could collect and pay to ship (plus that would help rebuild the local economy and they could get what they really want rather than the random stuff we'd send), it's (quite honestly) not just about the people we'll be helping. It's also about changing the people who will be giving. And sometimes money is just too easy. So I guess my hope is that the "most effective" thing will be a combination of both stuff and money. But the bottom line is that I hope we will be wise enough find the most effective means of both helping the people of Haiti and changing our own attitudes and priorities.

2) We want to partner with an affected Compassion, International Child Survival Program Center. I've only recently become aware of the CSP, but for a bunch of mothers of preschoolers, I can't imagine a better or more suitable project than helping out a bunch of other mothers (or mothers-to-be) of preschoolers.

3) Our church is also attempting to partner with an affected Haitian church, so it is my personal hope that our CSP center will be close to our partner church so that any mission trips can have the dual purpose of visiting both. I would especially love it if our entire family (kids included) were able to come, but even if the kids "have" to stay with the grandparents for a few days, I'd love for VNB to come.

So how can you help? Well, right now, just pray for wisdom (and patience to wait until the situation has been effectively assessed). But eventually I'll update you and let you know what the _actual_ project ends up being and what you can actually do!

Arrrrg....

So Wednesday afternoon, I was sitting on the couch, reading a magazine with Joanna perched on my lap. She had grabbed a coupon that I'd torn out of the magazine and was in the process of scrunching and munching it, so I took it away, tore off a page that I'd finished reading, and handed it to her. She delightedly played with that paper instead, swinging it up and down while I read.

And then, she connected. The corner of her paper to my right cornea.

To tell you that it hurt would be a bit of an understatement. My eye was running, my nose was running, and it felt like she'd shoved all of my eyelashes up into my eye. I tried blinking it out, but a) it was hard to open my eye, and b) when I looked at it, it was clear that there was nothing in it.

So I called my sweet husband at work, in the middle of inventory prep (his busiest and most stressful time of the year, triply so this year as he's using a new system that he's never used before _and_ he's being audited while he does it), to explain that our child had just poked me in the eye with a piece of paper and it was clearly (ha!) not ok.

A quick call to our primary care doc told us to take me to an urgent care ($50 co-pay, but in Laurel) or the ER ($100 co-pay, but 5 min away). So VNB came home, thinking that we'd pack the kids up and have family day at the ER while I was thinking that I'd drive myself there since AJ was still napping and we had no idea how long it would take. So instead we phoned a friend and she quickly came from work (close by) to drop me off at the ER.

I spent a few minutes waiting to be triaged, then went immediately from there to the "Eye room" where I sat for about an hour and a half. Oh, occasionally a nurse would come in and ask if I was ok (which, seriously? I'm in an EMERGENCY ROOM...do you really think I'm ok?), and the lady came with her rolling computer station to check me in...but I got there around 4:30 and it was after 7 before I was actually "seen." I never even saw a doctor - it was a physician's assistant. And she did a fine job, and I know in the grand scheme of things my injury was minor, but still...

So she put some numbing drops in (and the angels sang for approximately 15 minutes), then some other drops, then she looked at my eye through a special filter thingy to see what the damage was.

This is the picture she drew to show me:

The black in the middle isn't my pupil inside the iris. It's the chunk of my cornea that Joanna ripped off.

So she put in some antibiotic ointment, then put a patch over my eye and told me to see the ophthalmologist the next day.

This is what I looked like:

After an eventful morning of hitching rides places with two carseats (and kids), our babysitter came over and I drove myself to the ophthalmologist. Don't worry - I stayed in the right lane the whole time and it was only like three miles away.

She took the bandage off, poked around in both eyes, declared that I was healing up quite nicely, gave me some antibiotic eye drops (which I have been consistently forgetting to use), and sent me home. My vision wasn't completely clear by then, but at least I didn't have the patch anymore (that tape was ITCHY!).

I spent roughly 18 hours as a pirate. What have I learned from the experience? Tape is itchy. Corneal abrasions hurt like the dickens and move you one step closer to madness (because it feels like there's something in your eye...but you can't get it out...because it's your eye that's "in your eye"...and really...it's usually frowned upon to poke those out). It's good to have friends who work close to your house and who have big cars. Some kids make the connection right away that you're a pirate and it's cool (when you have an eye patch), but most are mildly scared while also being very curious. So basically they can't stop staring with this slightly horrified expression while you try to explain that your eye has a "booboo" and needs a band-aid.

But it's also awfully sweet when your son (who cried all the way home from the ER because mommy was scary - well, until we said the magic words "who wants fries and chicken?" anyway) kisses your eye patch at night and again before you go to the doctor to make your eye all better!

Finding "My Thing"

So I've recently become a fan of a "little" site called "Stuff Christians Like." It's one of those places that's wildly hilarious to those on the inside and probably not at all interesting to someone who hasn't been a part of a Western institutional church for a while.

Today's post got me thinking about something that's been percolating in the back of my brain for a little while now.

This past year has had the usual ups and downs. Overall, I think that I've grown (in good ways) as a person, a wife, a mom, a musician, and an engineer (among other things). My home is (marginally) cleaner than this time last year (well....this time two years ago...this time last year I had a 3-wk-old baby), my marriage is stronger than ever before (not that it was ever shaky, necessarily, just that I think we're starting to hit our stride in terms of effective communication and sense of "team"), and I'm definitely _FAR_ more confident as a musician thanks in no small part to getting to "lead" worship at Amplified.

In any case, over the past year or so I think I've found those "things" about myself that I'm really and truly passionate about. The "things" that make me really tick. The "things" that bring me joy more than anything else (not including God, family, and friends). Those things are missions/service and "leading" worship (or at least playing piano and singing...I don't really care who picks the songs, what part I'm singing, or who's doing the talking between songs).

To that end, I think I'm going to include you, my three readers, in on the "service" things that I'm participating in. Over the course of the next few days, I'm going to start spelling out the various service opportunities that I'm currently participating in and including in each post a way that you can participate. Then I'll put links to those projects in the sidebar so that you can follow along.

Maybe you'll get hooked on helping others like I have. Really....it's like crack. Not that I've ever tried crack.

Edited to add: don't worry in-laws and...um....bloods? out-laws? laws? All you people who are actually related to me somehow...there will still be pictures of the cutest kids in the world too (just in case that needs to be explained, I'm talking about _my_ kids here). If nothing else, I fully intend to have them participate!

Birthday!

So 75 years ago today, Elvis was born.

But that's not important right now.

What's important is that _three_ years ago, AJ was born! At the same moment, a new mommy and daddy were born as well!

It's been an amazing, tiring, fun, wonderful ride watching this little person _become_. Today he has his own interests and habits. He can dress himself except for socks (and some shoes). Take care of his own potty except for the wiping and the dumping. He can build amazing train tracks. He's wildly imaginative (the CandyLand pieces have each been named - red is AJ, blue is Daddy, green Mommy, and yellow Joanna - and they've gone on some interesting adventures over the last few days....good thing too that he doesn't care so much about the actual game just yet since Joanna manages to eat at least one card every time the box is opened). He can sing mostly on pitch and gets about every-other word of the VeggieTales theme song now.

He is sweet and polite. He whines, but he's 3. He loves his sister (sometimes a little too hard), and he is so exuberant! There is no middle - he's wildly excited and chipper, or the world is coming to an end (a trait that he gets, sadly, from both parents).

He has his quirks - loud noises still make him cry uncontrollably (his pediatrician pointed out today that he gets over-stimulated very easily and it was like the angels started singing as the understanding rippled through my being). He still drools when he gets too excited. He likes to eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for breakfast. If our next house doesn't come with a circle (e.g., kitchen into hall into living room into playroom back into kitchen), I'm not sure what he'll do.

And I now spend my energy looking for ways to teach him to be generous and grateful. My days seem to go from meal to potty to nap (to cleaning) in a never-ending stream....but somehow it's all good.

Happy birthday to my little man (and to Elvis, who really doesn't care that much at this point)! Thanks for making me a mommy!

Thanks!

I just went through and updated the kids lists off to the right. Thanks to everyone for being both generous and respectful of our wishes. We were very happy to come home from Christmas and AJ's birthday party both with less stuff than we went with (for our house anyway - the pregnancy center will be thrilled with your generosity!)! The kids still love their new toys, VERY much appreciate their new clothes, and you've got a mama and daddy that are still mostly sane since we didn't have to find homes for a bunch of new "stuff" (or figure out what kind of "stuff" to buy for each of you - I hope the water buffalo fits you as well as it has fit us this Christmas)!

We and our kids are very blessed to have friends and family such as you who understand that love isn't measured by the number of gifts to be opened. As AJ is learning from his VeggieTales Saint Nicholas DVD (and hopefully from us as well), "I can love because God loved me, I can give because God gave. Jesus' love is why I'm smiling, why I'm giving ev'ryday!"

Here's to a new year! May it bring great joy, not necessarily because we get everything we want, but because we recognize that we have everything we need (and more) and can therefore give to others!