The Waddle Song

So I've been thinking about this for a few weeks now...pretty much ever since the song came to mind, I've just never actually sat down to really make up the words. It's not "Weird Al" quality by any means, but the title line sure gets stuck in my head whenever I waddle anywhere.

Anyway, this is sung to the tune of "The Wassail Song," which is a rarely-sung New Year's song. I only know that because I looked it up. I always assumed it was a Christmas song. Of course, that might be due to the fact that the first time I heard it was on the California Raisin's Christmas Special when I was like 10. If you want to hear what the tune sounds like, go to this website.

Enjoy!

Here I come a-waddling
I used to be so lean!
Here I come a-waddling
This big, I've never been!
Love and joy come to you,
And someday you'll waddle too!
And God bless you, and send you
A healthy little kid!
And God send you a healthy little kid!

Bottoms Up

Parts of this may be tmi (too much information) for some of you. If you or your spouse has had a kid already, it's probably not, but if you haven't, then just be prepared or don't read the first couple of paragraphs. _DO_ read on after that though!

So VNB and I went to the big, 36-week check-up on Monday. While there, they did all the normal stuff (weight, pee in a cup, listen to heartbeat, answer questions, measure fundal height), plus a few more things (more bloodwork, vaginal exam, and two midwives independently checked the position of the baby).

Well, as usual, my weight gain was twice the "normal" of a pound a week, but they've stopped mentioning it at all, so I guess they figure that there's nothing to be done about it at this point. Plus, no one that knew me before can believe that I've put on 40 lbs, so it must at least _mostly_ be Baby. Peeing in a cup was normal, as were the heart tones, and I haven't heard anything back from the bloodwork, so it was probably fine too.

The midwife said that I was probably already a little dilated, about 50% effaced, and that she could feel the head. Then both of them felt up my belly and determined that the baby was head-down, as it's supposed to be at this point. So, things were good!

BUT, I was measuring small again (that's that fundal height thing), so I should go for another ultrasound, just in case. Their first available appointment was next Friday, so we weaseled/whined our way into a 10:30 cancellation.

The very first thing the tech said to us? "Well, the baby's breech."

...

Now, Baby had definitely been doing some major acrobatics in the waiting room, so it's possible that s/he just turned around for the pictures...but it's also possible that Baby's butt is round enough that both midwives thought it was his/her head.

Baby's still in the "frank breech" position that they were at the last ultrasound (remember how cute we thought it was that they were going to be a gymnast or a diver because of the pike position? Yeah...not so cute anymore.). If Baby doesn't turn, and if we can find a midwife/OB willing to do so, this is actually the only breech position that can be delivered vaginally with relative ease (the butt's not shaped _that_ much differently than the head, it's just a little smaller)...but otherwise, we're looking at a c-section. Our midwives have already told me to go ahead and schedule an appointment with their back-up OBs, just in case.

In the meantime, there are things I can be doing (exercises and stuff) to try to convince the baby to flip over. Also, there is anecdotal evidence that my stress level may cause the baby to feel the need to comfort me (or him/herself) by snuggling up by my heart and voice. So, theoretically, now that I'm done with meetings and rehearsals and concerts and can relax some, Baby should relax and flip over. I can also try putting ice packs on the top of my belly with light and music (or VNB's voice) near the bottom (of the belly).

Then there's "moxibustion." An acupuncturist takes these sticks of something, lights them, and puts them as close as I can stand to my little toes. For some reason, this makes the baby move around a lot and apparently flip over. I, personally, have always shied away from acupuncture. I'm not a huge fan of getting needles stuck into me to begin with, but to have them stay there for long periods of time while I look at them is like the worst thing ever. But add to that all of the "eastern mysticism" stuff and I'd just rather try something else. Except that this doesn't involve needles, and I've heard (and read) from multiple sources that it's actually pretty reliable for getting babies to turn. And getting this baby to turn is something that I'd _REALLY_ like to do. But I'm still in a bit of a quandary...because a lot of acupuncture, I firmly believe, is based on you believing that it will work. If I don't think it will, then it's probably not gonna. But I also don't want to leave any stone unturned.

Anyway, so I'd be interested in your opinion on acupuncture/pressure and/or moxibustion.

I'd also like all of you who are pray-ers to be praying this baby over for me. We were really hoping for an all natural birth in the birthing center rather than at a hospital. If Baby doesn't turn and we don't change practitioners, we're looking at major abdominal surgery in a hospital with lots of drugs, a much longer recovery time, and which adds all sorts of health risks to both me and the baby.

This baby may only be half "Turner," but as my dad said, "Turn! Turner, Turn!"

And, this baby just needs to realize that it should go ahead and practice for all those years ahead of him/her when, to the amusement of many a minister/musician, the entire congregation of mostly non-drinkers throws back their "shot" of grape juice during communion. That's right Baby, "Bottoms up!"

Open Letter to Crest Pro-Health

Dear Crest Pro-Health,

When you tell me that, unlike other brands, Crest Pro-Health "protects [among other things] gingivitis and plaque," you make me want to avoid your product. Why would I want a toothpaste that keeps gingivitis and plaque safe? And yet that's what that woman in a white lab coat tells me with a smile every time your commercial comes on. Like it's a good thing. To protect gingivitis and plaque. Are they going extinct? Do they really _need_ our protection? If so, wouldn't it be _far_ more protective for us to not brush our teeth at all?

These are the thoughts that run through my head every time I see your commercial. I don't think that's the message you're trying to get across. If it _is_, then I apologize for taking up your time, but I ask that you find a way to return to me the brain cells that I have expended in trying to answer these questions every time I see your commercial.

Thank you.

Sincerely,

Princess Leia

Toting the Weary Load...

We're coming to the end of the line here in terms of the pregnancy, thank goodness. It's really not that I think we're completely prepared to be parents or anything, nor have I really given much thought at all to what the baby will be like, even though I keep hearing that that's what all expectant mothers do...it's just that gestating a baby is hard, exhausting work. I have never been so tired in my life. Our house is a complete wreck right now, but I just can't get up the energy to do anything to fix that. We've got a Christmas tree....that has nothing on it....it doesn't help that we're also getting in the cabinets for the kitchen that we ordered days before VNB's car died. He's putting those in himself, so right now every available space in the kitchen (and dining room) is overtaken by what was in the old cabinets which have already come down. The rest of the house is overtaken by clutter and or new cabinets, still in their boxes.

BUT, there IS a light at the end of this tunnel. While I've had something to do every evening since last Friday (last Thursday was my last free evening, and the earliest I've gotten home since then was about 8:30 PM...after leaving most mornings around 5:45 AM), we have the next two evenings completely free!!!!! VNB can work on the cabinets (once he gets the "pantry" cabinet in - and that's the first, apparently - a lot of the kitchen clutter can find a new home), and I can rest and do small projects (tonight's assignment is actually to clean out the cars as they weren't exactly "neat" either). Yay! And then after our last Christmas musical performance on Sunday night, we've got an entire WEEK of free evenings!!!! Followed by a "date" on Saturday and Christmas Eve services on Sunday, followed by another whole WEEK of free evenings (well, we're having dinner with his aunt and uncle one night, but that's not _so_ bad in terms of staying out late, etc.) _AND_ at least one day off of work for each of us, _AND_ my folks will be in town visiting, which might raise VNB's stress level some (mostly because he's worried about not getting the kitchen back together before they get here), but it'll help with mine considerably, I think. Then it's New Year's and then the last ~two weeks before Baby finally appears.

But that last month, we've got NOTHING. No FAITH training, no choir rehearsals, no specifically-planned group activities. If we go out, it'll be because we just want to hang out with each other and/or with friends. And the rest of the time, we'll be home being homebodies and resting before the "big show." :)

And I am looking forward to that, let me tell you. Last night, the last night of the marathon week, I had made it almost the whole way through the rehearsal. I wasn't standing to sing in order to save my strength for the weekend, but even so it was hard. And when we got to the very last song, just out of the blue, I had to fight back tears of exhaustion. I think it was because, at that moment, I was hit by the realization that on Saturday and Sunday I get to do, not only what I'd done that night (and to a lesser extent on Monday night as well), but do it while standing a good bit of the time, in a black dress, and with even more stage lights turned on at times (making it just that much hotter). And when the choir spontaneously decided to drop their music (not a song I have memorized, which adds stress), sway (extra motion and heat), and clap (something that requires concentration at least at times), I think I just couldn't take any more. I'd mostly gotten control of myself by the time the song ended, but I think the guy next to me must have seen some of the emotion because when he sat down, he promptly told me to go home. Not being one to look a gift horse in the mouth (and knowing that everyone would completely understand), I got up, got VNB's attention, and we left. And it was good.

I'm not necessarily ready for a baby, but I'm definitely ready to not be pregnant anymore. I should be "trading it all for the joy of the Lord," but right now I'm just fighting to stay upright and not cry from the strain.

But I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, and I really hope it's not a train.