Dreaming for Two

So I've never been much of a dreamer in the sense that I never used to remember my dreams after I woke up. It was such that prior to just before I got married, I could remember remembering a total of about five dreams in my life, three of which occurred just before I came back from overseas. In fact, when I then started vividly dreaming on a semi-regular basis shortly thereafter, every dream, no matter how innocuous, seemed like a nightmare to me because they were so unusual.

Eventually I got more used to them and they stopped occurring quite so frequently, so they didn't freak me out as much. Anyway, one of the side-effects of pregnancy is vivid dreams. And let me tell you, I've had some wham-dingers recently. Very detailed, always involving real people and elaborate situations.

Two nights ago, I dreamed that some malevolent political force was taking over America and in the process causing all sorts of natural disasters (many having to do with water or flooding - so either Freud is giggling, or I've got "breaking waters" on my brain). In the process of trying to escape from the political situation, I ended up being part of a little band of people (the "freedom fighters" in whatever movie/TV script you want to emulate, but before they had organized and actually fought back). Oddly, I wasn't at all one of their leaders, I just ended up with their group (and I should mention that all of this apparently took place on University of Maryland's campus - at least, that's where my brain said it was, but the scenery didn't really match any of MD's campus - you know how that goes). Anyway, I was just as pregnant as I am now (at least at the very end), but somehow I managed to run and climb to get away from the floods and giant crashing waves. And it ended with me finding VNB (also with the freedom fighters). I didn't even know throughout the dream that I was looking for him, but when I found him, I knew I was safe and everything was going to be just fine.

Sweet, huh? Man of my dreams apparently (not that I wouldn't have said that before now, it's just both figuratively _and_ literally true now).

Addiction?

So when I was horribly, unendingly ill at the beginning of this pregnancy, I decided to go the OTC route and "just" take vitamin B-6 and Unisom. For some reason unknown to science, this combination of drugs helps with nausea. No one's really sure why. Some speculate that it's a vitamin B deficiency that causes it...but no one really knows.

In my case, I found out after just a few months that the B-6 wasn't really doing that much for me, so I stopped taking it around the time I was starting to feel better. Since I don't really like taking _anything_ (and especially not the infamous "sleeping pills"), I was really far more concerned about the Unisom than the B-6. So about the time I cut out the B-6, I starting cutting the Unisoms in half. That transition went surprisingly well.

When I started feeling even better, I tried going one day on, one day off the half-dose of Unisom. That transition didn't go so well (I could tell a definite difference between the days that I'd taken it and the days that I hadn't), so instead I started cutting them into ~fourths. I've been doing that for a while now, so I thought maybe I could stop altogether.

Well, after hardly sleeping at all last night (my first night without - although, really, it's not like I've been sleeping _well_ lately, so last night wasn't _that_ much different), the morning didn't go all that badly. I felt a little "off," but really nothing that different from recent mornings. But around lunchtime I spent a second too long in AJ's room (where the combined smells are: dirty diapers, cat litter, cat food, an air freshener, and various un-lit but still pungent candles). Really, the smell wasn't that bad...but the combination was just enough that for the first time in several months (I think - I mean, there's been a morning dry heave or two, but no real food loss in quite a while), I saw my breakfast and morning snack all over again. It wasn't fun, especially with Baby now big enough to be pushing on my bladder with every heave.

Now I'm back to hungry, but not all that desirous of eating. I guess that's better than the last week or so when I just haven't been hungry.

But I think I'll wait a little while longer before I try stopping the Unisom again. I don't think I can cut the pills any smaller and crushed Unisom tastes _AWFUL_ (although not as bad as metronidazole - just trust me, it's nasty).

I will be _VERY_ glad when these extra hormones are gone and I feel "normal" again. Although I'm beginning to be concerned that at some point I'm just going to have to suck it up and go cold turkey on the Unisom - that's it's not a "morning sickness" thing anymore, that it's become a physical dependence. Which is exactly the reason I was leery of it in the first place.

Arg.

"Just" 11 more weeks. I can make it. We're almost to single digits!

THIS is Parenting

So since AJ's started being FASCINATED by anything violent or negative on TV, we've switched from watching whatever was on USA in the mornings to whatever's on PBS. Yes, I've succumbed to the world of "kids television." And I don't mind, really. Barney's not so bad, really, especially when followed with a chaser of Mister Rogers.

Especially when during Barney's closing credits, AJ gets an uncontrollable urge to dance (which means stomp his feet and clap, not anywhere close to in time with the music). Unfortunately, he was holding a ring from one of his stacker toys (the parent police put you in parent jail if a toddler's household doesn't contain at least one ring stacker toy - we have two, just for good measure). That prevented him from clapping like he had to do. So instead of putting it down on the floor (like everything else) or on the table that was between us, he insisted on handing it to me. After which he proceeded to dance in the cutest way possible to the Barney end credits music.

Then, when Mister Rogers came on, he spent the entire opening song ("It's a neighborly day in the neighborhood...") waving 'hello' at Mister Rogers.

These are the sweet moments that make it all worthwhile.

This next one had better be a world of cute. They're sure going to have a lot to overcome in the "making it all worthwhile" department.

Works For Me Wednesday: Not Couponing (for now)

It's been a long time since my last WFMW post. I think that's mostly because I wasn't feeling very social added to the fact that I couldn't remember what ideas I'd already posted and was too lazy to go back and check.

But even if I don't participate, Shannon over at Rocks in My Dryer always hosts WFMW and there are always _HUNDREDS_ of ideas.

Anyway, so we all know by now that I've been uber-sick lately. Adding my uber ("morning") sickness to my natural non-cleaning tendencies and an extra super-dooper sensitivity to smells and you end up with a house that's even messier than normal, especially the kitchen (opening the fridge to get AJ's juice a couple of times a day was more than I could handle many days - and even walking past the sink is often still a chore).

As I'm starting to feel a little better, I'm attempting to re-tame the beast. I still haven't even thought about cleaning the kitchen (although I sometimes manage to throw out the trash and recycling that has collected), but I've been working my way towards keeping the living room tidy-ish and have done my semi-regular straightening of AJ's room. The dirty laundry is at least in the hamper and the clean stuff is folded, if not put away yet. So I'm getting there, slowly, but surely.

One thing that's helped at least the last few days has been me allowing myself to NOT coupon. I already feel bad enough with the messy house and the days where I could barely keep AJ fed, watered, and dry-ish. I also felt guilty that, when I could manage to get to a store and buy groceries, I wasn't making sure I was getting the best deals. Not to mention the fact that I was collecting coupons to clip, but never clipping them and if I did manage to clip them, they never got sorted and stored....which meant a pile of paper for AJ to toss everywhere over and over again....which meant more mess.

So the other day I made an executive decision. When I feel well enough to keep the house clean, I'll start up with the couponing again. In the meantime, I've absolved myself of the guilt of not couponing (and therefore the mess of paper that comes with it). I've got enough to worry about. I can let go of this for now. And it's ok. Not only that, but it "works for me!"

Unisom and Vitamin B6 are my Friends

So the over-the-counter anti-nausea meds they gave me are vitamin B6 (50 mg, 3X a day) and Unisom (which I was only taking at night). I started taking them roughly a month ago now. Long enough, that I finished the last of the Unisom two nights ago. Since I'd been feeling better (12-weeks seemed like it really was the magic number this time - a nice surprise given that it was FIVE MONTHS with AJ. Granted, I wasn't nearly as bad with him, but still, FIVE MONTHS!), I'd cut back on the B6 to twice daily (if I took it too late in the afternoon, it made me sick anyway). And since I was still feeling better (better being a _very_ relative term, but still, I was better - I even cooked dinner the other night without gagging at all...of course dinner consisted of a bag of something that I could pull out of the freezer and dump into a skillet, but still, _I_ cooked it with _NO_ gagging!), I figured I could just not restock the Unisom. I mean, "all it did" was make me groggy in the mornings. Plus I was (am) concerned about getting dependent on it.

Yeah, BIG MISTAKE! While I've enjoyed not being drowsy these past two mornings, I have _NOT_ enjoyed the major relapse into constant nausea. Smells that haven't bothered me in a week, now make me puke again. Goody.

The worst part is that since I didn't restock when I was feeling _well_, now I have to go out while I feel barfy. Always fun with the most active toddler in the world.

Maybe I'll try just half a Unisom each night.

And to give him his props, VNB made me continue taking the B6 at night, even though I planned on stopping that too. Who knows how awful I'd feel if I hadn't done that!

Poor Parenting Moments...Again, Some More...

Ok, so it hasn't been a secret pretty much since the beginning, mostly because I've been so very, very sick. But yes, AJ will be a big brother sometime around Christmas. And this new little one has made me very, VERY sick. Even with drugs, I don't feel very good most of the time.

All of which has led to more poor parenting moments to share! Woohoo! Most have to do with vomit and/or poo, so don't say I didn't warn you.

But hey...at least I didn't plug my kid into the USB port this time. That's improvement, right?

So the other day I was dry heaving. Basically, I was spitting a lot into the toilet. While burping these nasty, deep, guttural burps. And AJ, as is his wont, wandered into the bathroom. Often he does this just to get into the cabinets that I won't let him get into while I'm too busy to keep him from getting into them. But this time, he apparently thought that it was really cool to spit into the toilet. So he started drooling even more than usual and would have tried spitting into the toilet too if I hadn't been monopolizing it. When he saw that there wasn't room for two (three?) in praying to the porcelain god, he decided instead to be supportive. So he walked up, stood next to me, and put his little arm around my neck.

Later that day when it wasn't just dry heaves, he did the same (without the attempt at spitting for himself). He walked in and patted me on the back until I was done.

Sweet boy.

Catching Up....For Two

Sorry it's been so long. I've had lots to say, just never got around to saying it. And, of course, now I'm drawing a complete blank. So I'll go with the "joke" part that I still vaguely remember. Maybe the rest will come back as I type.

I'm sure most people have heard or have said themselves that, when pregnant, someone is "eating for two" now. Well these are the variations that I've heard (or said) so far in my own pregnancy:

- After hearing that I had backed into a support post in a parking garage (with no damage to the garage, and minimal damage to my car), Aunt Mom told me I needed to be careful because I was "Driving for two" now. Much to my own personal amusement, since it was over email.

- After giving up his (slightly more comfy) chair to me at a staff meeting, a co-worker explained that it was because I was "Sitting for two" now. Much to the amusement of the staff sitting around.

- While watching CouponMaven (who is also pregnant now! Woohoo!) play hackeysack with GIJoe and some others during the clean-up after some friends' wedding, and while marvelling at the fact that a) she could hackey in the first place (even without a big, fat, baby belly, I was never coordinated enough to hackey much), b) she could hackey while in 2"-heeled boots (wide heels, so it wasn't like she was in much danger of falling or anything), and c) she could hackey while pregnant, I commented that we were mostly amazed because she was "Hackying for two." Much to the amusement of the others waiting around with us at the time.

I think I had a couple more examples, but they're lost to me at the moment. Feel free to add pithy comments. Only rules are that your examples have to take the form of "verb-ending-in-ing for two" and shouldn't be _too_ risque. PG or less, preferably.

In terms of catching people up (for two), things are good right now. As you can see in my previous post, VNB has been very good to me lately, despite having huge amounts of extra stress at work (a co-worker quit, leaving him responsible for two full-time jobs, which has been exacerbated by inexperienced underlings, honeymooning and vacationing staff, and other staff just not showing up). At the same time though, we're about to pay off the last of our big (non-school, house, or car-related) debt, the nursery is slowly coming together (all that's really left is to put up one last small strip of border and re-install the closet doors), which means that the rest of the house is losing its clutter, bit-by-bit (schweyah, schweyah), which, with the addition of a dishwasher that actually works means that the house is cleaner and less stress-inducing. Plus, I'm feeling _worlds_ better and can do lots more. And the "discussion" VNB and I had after the first childbirth class really helped out with getting us on the same page about the baby and how we're both coping emotionally. It really feels like we're a team now. And that's a very safe and comfortable feeling, which very much adds to my general sense of peace and contentment.

Baby is going to be either a boxer or a dancer, I'm not sure which. All I know is that if these kicks/punches/pirouettes get any stronger, I'm gonna get bruises. My fundal height measured a bit small this past appointment (which might mean that the original due date was closer to accurate, although according to the "Woods method" we heard about in class last night, we're looking at sometime in early February!), but this time the midwife didn't "yell" about my weight gain (which was unexpectedly high - 6lbs in three weeks instead of a pound a week as recommended), she just asked if I felt like the baby had gone through a growth spurt. With the round ligament pain (basically uterus growing pains) I was in the week or so prior to the appointment, and the fact that I am suddenly unmistakably pregnant, regardless of my clothing (as opposed to possibly just having a big belly and/or wearing a really big shirt)...and then given the fact that pants that just last week would zip up with lots of room in the belt now have _much_ less room in the belt _and_ the zippers are at about half-mast (maternity pants with panels in the zippers so that they can be opened as you grow)...well...I'm guessing that there was some sort of growth spurt (although you'd never know it from my former waist-line measurements, which have been increasing very steadily). Everyone still comments on how small my belly is for 5.5 months though (I, of course, feel GINORMOUS and wonder how much bigger it's possible for me to get without my belly ripping off).

But there have been moments of terror too - like when Baby was kicking especially hard and I spoke gently, but firmly to him/her about how s/he needed to stop kicking his/her mommy so hard...only to realize that a) I was one of those crazy women who talk to their bellies, and b) I was going to be someone's _MOMMY_!!! That seems like a silly/trivial realization....but it was a moment of sheer terror/wonderment.

Now that I'm obviously pregnant in just about any piece of clothing, it's a little easier for me to deal with being "big" for the first time in my life. I don't have to worry about people thinking that I've put on a lot of weight for several reasons. For one, other than the big belly (and possibly my hips/butt), I haven't really. I mean, my bust is definitely more...ample...but not weirdly so, and I haven't really added any (or at least much) weight in my face (which is usually the first thing to fill out when my weight fluctuates). Plus, I can still fit into two of my five Sunday dresses...and one of them has only recently left the rotation and then solely because it was getting too short to be worn on stage with the burgeoning belly....which really makes me wonder at how much those clothes must have hung off of me previously that my waist can be almost a foot bigger than normal and _STILL_FIT_ into the dresses. But for all that I tease VNB (and he _HATES_ it when I do it) about me being "fat," I'm really just not. Pregnant, yes, fat, no. It's good now that I don't have to worry anymore about people mistaking that distinction. Of course, it makes me see exactly how vain I was/am about my figure, but VNB probably doesn't mind that too much as it'll be a good impetus for me to get it back, post-pregnancy.

What else? I dunno....I'll take some pictures once we get the nursery really "complete" and will make sure to add in some "look at how fat I am" pics too. :) But for now, I need to be be eating lunch (for two).